Welcome to Port Charles, Where Your Children Will Die and You'll Look to Hitmen for Moral Guidance
That's a mouthful, but it's really what you'd need to explain to anyone arriving in town for the first time, as Blair Cramer did on Friday. If you watched One Life to Live and ever read any of the Serial Drama posts on the show, you may have gathered that Blair is one of my favorite characters (you know, just a little). So I was looking forward to seeing her. I've missed her. And while it was great to see her, it really just made me miss Llanview even more than I already do (especially because she's only in six episodes anyway). But seriously? Watching Anna DeVane and Blair Cramer both cry for their children and grandchildren all in the course of one episode? Too much for my fragile heart.
Of course the episode offered up more than just that. It's still the morning after the hospital benefit at the MetroCourt, and all the people who found the fights and the shootings and the attempted murders and the exploding labs a big turn-on were busy getting re-dressed after their sexcapades (I love that Sonny being shot can't even stop him from getting laid -- someone might want to mention this to Dante to illustrate how Sonny's big "sacrifice" was more like a "minor inconvenience"). And in the vein of "We're trying to actually make the sets and the background actors and the shot selections, like, a specific thing that we do on purpose now," we saw Kelly's from angles we'd never seen before.
And it's daylight outside! Which we could see not only from the Kelly's windows, but the windows at Crimson and the windows in Johnny's apartment. Bright daylight. I'm so disoriented!
Kate and Sonny's scenes were just the worst. Those two are just... I'm trying to think of words that mean "gross" but aren't "gross" but Kate and Sonny are the grossest. And the six inches of makeup they put on Kate (that probably requires a trowel to remove) help nothing. Friday, Kate gave us such pearls of wisdom as:
Kate: Someone once said those who don't learn from their pasts are doomed to repeat them.
Really, Kate? Someone once said that? Thanks for explaining! From what incredibly esoteric source did you get that? You must be very well-read because nobody has ever heard that before!
Oh and she also offered up this gem:
Kate: Fear is scary.
I am intimidated by her savvy and her enlightenment. I'm also super-scared of her alter ego who wears just as much makeup as she does, but a lipstick color one shade brighter than her usual.
She also seems to be channeling Mae West circa 1936. This is going to be a long story arc, isn't it? And now at least three or four people know that she's toting around her blood-stained wedding dress and it hasn't occurred to any of them yet that it might mean she's completely insane.
Fortunately the episode also gave us some really lovely scenes between Luke and Anna and between Edward and Tracy (I'm still loving how instead of one big episode where everyone learns, they're parsing out the characters learning about Robin's death, showing how far-reaching it is and how much she means on that canvas).
John Ingle just gets me every time.
Ooh! And a fun battle between Sam and Carly. Granted, I thought the reason for the battle was a little forced (I don't believe even Carly would insist that Jason be informed of Robin's death the second he wakes up), but considering Carly's fixation on Jason it makes sense that these two women be adversaries and it's a rivalry I can enjoy. (As much as I can enjoy anything that's fundamentally about Jason, but considering the whole series is fundamentally about Jason I have to work within that paradigm.)
I'm already bored with the car accident story because people are accusing Sonny of having shot out Anthony's tire and therefore causing the accident that allegedly killed Cole and Hope, and since this is General Hospital we all know Sonny didn't do it -- he only actually gets accused of things he didn't do, because people accusing Sonny of things he actually did and exposing him for said things would be too much like right. So my suspense in the "Omigah did Sonny cause the accident?!" question is about as high as my suspense in the "Omigah will Jason survive?!" question, which is to say there is less than zero suspense.
But who really cares, when it gave us Blair!
It was weird to see her in HD (not in a bad way, of course), and I feel like they laid on the makeup a little too thick (what else is new at GH?) because Kassie DePaiva certainly doesn't need much of it. I'm looking forward to seeing her more integrated with the other characters in the episodes to come, but I confess to totally breaking when Michael told her that Starr seemed strong and Blair cried and talked about how he has no idea how strong her little girl is. I've never been crazy about Starr-as-leading-heroine, but I've always been crazy about Blair and Starr's relationship, so they got me with that one. And I loved that hearing about the accident made her all extra-Southern and that she demanded to know where this Zyke-aira guy is. And when she sternly corrected Michael when he erroneously called her Mrs. Manning, that certainly gave us one clue about her status back home with Todd. I look forward to learning more next week! But I'm still so heartbroken that we won't be able to follow them all back to Llanview after the crossover episodes.
On the bright side, the Friday cliffhanger means something most excellent:
Scorpio/Spencer scenes on Monday!