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« The Quick and the Sincere | Main | Nominee for Prop of the Year »

April 04, 2012

Ancient History vs. Recent History

You know, it's a funny thing about us soap viewers. Most of us will let you rewrite history a bit if it doesn't drastically negate what we actually saw a screen many years ago -- especially if the storyline that the rewrite yields is worth watching. (e.g., "Oh, did Viki actually give birth to twins even though we saw otherwise? Well, do we like this new girl Natalie and is the drama any good? If so, fine with us!") We have less patience with adjustments in recent history than ancient history, and even less patience when it's an adjustment to a recent storyline that we already hated that yields something even worse.

So let's talk about what went down yesterday with Sonny and Olivia. Look, full disclosure: I actually do not hate Olivia. (Mallory may disown me from Serial Drama for this but, hey, I gotta be me!) And I really liked Olivia and Johnny as a pairing. Here's the two things I can't tolerate about Olivia: first, that she gives Sonny the time of day after correctly barring him from their son's life because Sonny is a thug and a criminal and after Sonny tried really hard to murder that son. This show is chock-full of Sonny apologists and I can actually buy why in some cases. Not hers. She should loathe him forever. Second, that we had to endure basically eight months of her constant breakups and reunions with Johnny that were based not on the fact that he's involved with organized crime, but the fact that he and Sonny have a dangerous rivalry that neither is willing to drop. How many times did we suffer through these repetitive scenes of Olivia begging Johnny to let his anti-Sonny vendetta go, or crying to Sonny that their mutual hatred will end up killing them? Repeatedly, over and over, ad nauseam, that's how many.

But now?


We are apparently to pretend that this never happened, and that Olivia is totally cool with asking Sonny to take Johnny down. Sure, she threw in some lip service about how she'd prefer he not resort to violence, but she also made it clear that he should do whatever it takes. Johnny, the man she was in love with just over a year ago. Johnny, who by the way was also in love with her just over a year ago and is now acting like they have zero history at all. I understand why it's useful for a mobster (who runs the tiniest "mob" in history) to have a doctor at his mercy, but not this one. I don't buy that Johnny would do that to Olivia, and I don't buy that Olivia's response would be to light three hundred matches on the pile of fuel that is Sonny and Johnny's feud. At this point Olivia's character is so ill-defined that I'm convinced her character bible only has two words in it: 1. Bensonhurst. 2. Pasta.

There was an upside to those scenes. Sonny got to have a funny! I do so wish they'd give Maurice Benard more comic material than the usual self-pity or moral indignation he's usually stuck playing, because he's good at the little tiny hilarious nuances. When Olivia (or whoever she is at this point) asked him if Johnny and Carly bothered him...


"It's annoying and I don't get it." (I agree with Sonny and that makes me feel dirty.) And he made a strained face that was meant to be amusing and it worked!

Elsewhere on canvas we've been dealing in mentions of much, much more ancient history and it's been a lot more fun. Luke was introduced to John McBain, who insisted he knew who Luke was already because he'd seen his FBI file.


"Well then you know I saved the world!" About which John was not impressed, and talked about how he focused more on the information in the file about Frank Smith. Yay! Back when the mobsters were the bad guys!

And can I 'fess up to how giddy I am that Anna turned out to have been John's FBI mentor? I'm loving those two in scenes together, despite the ridiculous and unnecessary "reveal" (and another history rewrite) that apparently John wants to take Sonny down because Sonny killed John's heretofore non-existent sister. It's not even so much that we've never heard of a McBain sister before (John arrived at OLTL much too late for me to be throwing my fists around over a retcon about a childhood I did not witness) (or care about, for that matter). It's two things: first, as is always the case with anything involving Sonny, it'll probably turn out that it was an accident or that John's sister was an evil child molester or one of the other myriad ways they've drawn up to avoid Sonny's culpability in anything at all, ever. Second, why the freaking hell does John need a personal reason to want to take down a criminal which, last I checked, is his job? Do we need to watch this play out all over again? Can't we ever just get a decent cop who really hates that this alleged mob kingpin keeps getting away with murder because he only ever, ever, ever gets charged for things he didn't do?! (I know. It's a rhetorical question.)

Elsewhere in ancient history, HEATHER!!!


It just makes me so happy to see her. Because there she is and she's super-fun, of course, but also because it meant we got some great old stories (even a Crane Tolliver mention!). And I don't even care that Franco was Jason's twin AS LONG AS IT DOESN'T MEAN FRANCO WILL COME BACK. That's where I have to draw the line. I have limits! Claudia got a posthumous familial reveal, let's do the same for Franco and leave it at that? And hopefully this storyline might give us some information that will lead to actual confirmation of whether or not Franco raped Sam (I am, of course, rooting for not) because it's time to really bang that final nail in the coffin of GH's fascination with "was s/he or wasn't s/he raped??" mysteries, as they are in no way fun or salacious or a good reason to watch a soap on Planet Earth.

In other news...



Forget it. I just... I just can't.


I think it's natural that we bristle more at the changing of recent history more than ancient history, for the most part, just because time makes things fuzzier and easier to contort.

I, too, don't really care if Franco is Jason's twin, as long as we don't have to see him again.

Louise, was it just me or were the scenes of Heather revealing that Jason and Franco are twins extremely reminiscent of the reveal of Sky's paternity by Allison back in 2010? A crazy woman (Allison/Heather) telling a fantastical story. A medical professional involved who super coincidentally wanted a child, but couldn't have one (Leah Joplin/Besty Frank). One perfect, golden baby (Rex/Jason (blech)) and one who wasn't right (sickly preemie Sky/sociopath Franco). C'mon, RC, shake up the execution a bit.

I do agree that I am liking Anna and John together, although the sister McBain retcon is dumb.

Oh, and I'm also loving Heather. Her cold "I knew the going rate" comment in the face of Sam's horror re: selling her cousin's baby was priceless. I can't wait til she (inevitably) gets sprung and starts terrorizing her orange-faced son and his irritating girlfriend.

I am loving, loving, loving that they brought back Heather because that was the very first story I remember watching (well, along with Luke and Laura) on GH. Also a bit appalled at my brain for forgetting really important RL stuff from back then, but remembering the names of Anne Logan and Diana Taylor and company. Loved Robin Mattson than and love her now. Let her show Kate/Connie how crazy's really done!

There are a lot of things to love on GH right now. I also loved John McBain and Anna - a lot. I liked how McBain demolished the "glamour" of the mob in his discussion with Anna. Is that a new wind blowing? Are the mob days being downsized, at least? Or is that just a delusional hope?

And why exactly is Jason so sure that if Sonny did this, he'd confess and take the punishment? As far as I understand, he's never confessed and taken any punishment before. So why is he so sure that a guy who has never done the right thing before would do it now? Try as hard as I can, I can't find anything redeeming in Sonny at all. He comes off virtually always as a whiny, self-centered little creep. I can see him drawing blowflies to him in record numbers, but not women.

Heather is awesome. I don't know what the storyline will be, but I'm signed on to the ride. If she goes after Clompasauros Falconetti as not good enough for her son, I'll cheer her all the way. And if she goes after Steroid Steve as too dull to be her son, I'll cheer her even more. A psychopath of Heather's atature deserves more interesting offspring.

Gee, I wonder if Jason will have either a blank look, or a constipated look, when he finds out about the brother he never knew he had. Since those two are his only expressions, I guess we'll just have to wait and see which one it is.

I have to say, unpopular opinion that it may be, I do enjoy seeing Connie break out. She's a ball of fire compared to Kate, and her feelings about Sonny are spot-on perfection.

I'll join in with the unpopular opinion too. I like Connie a lot.

Oh no! Jason killed his own brother! How ever will he react?

Oh wait. He already did that, to one he *knew* was his brother at the time, and hasn't seemed to have any trouble sleeping since.

(OK, fine, Jason didn't actually do the deed, but he did the injuring the led to the deed being easier to do. Or something. So I like to blame him anyway. Because I can.)

p.s. I adore Heather.

I just wish her story weren't wrapped up so entirely in Jason and Sam.

Then again, Steven is such a lame character at this point that having her focused solely on him would be like sending a lion in to take on a hamster.

p.p.s. I enjoy Connie. And Connie wreaking havoc and confusing the heck out of people. I even kind of enjoy Kate being desperate and confused when talking to those same other people.

I do not enjoy her or Kate in any scenes with Sonny, though. Pretty much ever. I suspect that Sonny has a great deal to do with that, though.

And I don't enjoy that she seems to be eating the show.

We had some nice balance for a while there but now things seem to be entirely Sonny/Jason/Carly focused again. Some more. Sigh.

(I think I'm done now.)

Heather!! Squeeee! She is the reason I started watching GH. I loved watching her play everyone in Port Charles sneaking out of Forest Hills and plotting to kill Diana.

I'm okay with Connie.. but come on Ron, can't we have a D.I.D. case where the alter isn't a horny skank that has to immediately start stripping off clothing and slathering on the red lipstick?

I just can't get with the Starr/Micheal crap. She isn't a leading lady/heroine type AT ALL and it's just creepy that she is even there. At this point, I don't even care.

Here is the BIG DOWNER for me. Luke. Jealous Luke. WTF? Run Anna run!! Why in the world are you roomies with this sullen child killer who wasn't even arrested? I'm completely nauseated by the whole thing.

Still not getting why 1) Anna is not staying in the VERY LARGE house Patrick owns and 2)Since she is staying at the Metro Court, why, EXACTLY, doesn't she get her own room???

Can someone explain why Heather always refers to Steve as "Steven Lars"? Is "Lars" his middle name, last name, or is it just some BSC thing she does? Was that the name of his "adoptive" parents?

"Steven Lars" was the name given to the baby after Jeff Webber got him back. Steven after Steve Hardy, Jeff's actual father, and Lars after Jeff's presumed father Lars Webber. The baby was called "P.J." by Dr. Peter Taylor and his wife Diana, who bought the baby from Heather ("Peter Jr."). Both "P.J." and "Steven Lars" got to sound ridiculous after a while.

I have to admit that I do sort of like Sonny (ducking my head w/shame) ONLY when he's doing things like the reaction described above. I like him in any scene with Nancy Grahn. There just seems to be a twinkle in his eye and some bit of enthusiasm that I don't see in most of his other scenes. I'm not enjoying what Sonny does, but Maurice Benard's reaction in his scenes with Alexis, or the one above.

I agree that MB is okay in scenes with Nancy Lee Grahn. Only other person he's tolerable with for me is, unfortunately, Kim McCullough,and that ship has sailed, so unless Alexis and Sonny scenes increase in frequency (and I hope for Alexis's sake they don't), then I'll continue to fast forward through his scenes.

Just one more thing, and then I'm done. With this Heather story, it would be so much better if there were more Webbers and Quartermaines around. Seeing her with Steve and Oliva sounds boring. I want scenes with Monica and, especially, Tracy!

"Still not getting why 1) Anna is not staying in the VERY LARGE house Patrick owns "

She needs to give Emma and Patrick "space," since the first thing a traumatized little girl whose mother just died and whose father works most of the time needs is space.

It makes as much sense as her apparent lifelong friendship with Luke, and her mentoring McBain at a time that she was likely a double agent or presumed dead.

"At this point Olivia's character is so ill-defined that I'm convinced her character bible only has two words in it: 1. Bensonhurst. 2. Pasta."

That's how I feel about Olivia. Poor Lisa LoCicero tries her best but they undermine her everytime.

"With this Heather story, it would be so much better if there were more Webbers and Quartermaines around. Seeing her with Steve and Oliiva sounds boring."

^^ Thank you Liz! Why are still discussing Franco (or Lisa Niles)? He was never welcome and stayed too long. I am not even convinced he's dead. I don't care if he's related to Jason or Susan. I'll care some if he's related to Alan but then I remember there's not much story to tell because Alan and most of the Quartermaines are dead. Edward and Monica aren't given much airtime. Had Jason Morgan experienced a reversion or combination with Jason Quartermaine's personality, this investigation into his past could be more interesting.

- Olivia's the worst person in general. Was trying to put a hit out on Johnny? Come on now. Over Steven Lars?

- Ewen is the.worst.therapist.ever.

When did Anna mentor John McBain? She was practically a baby back when she rirst started out in the WSB. Got caught as a double agent shortly thereafter and left. She was a fence until she showed up in P.C and reformed her ways. Then she "died" and had amnesia. When did she mentor John McBain? Oh yea - another rewrite.

Oh, wanted to add I thought Maurice Benard was absolutely adorable. Those dimples...swoon! I know Sonny is widely reviled but I wish he were allowed to be funny and have fun because I love Sonny when Maurice is amused. I actually laugh out loud when Sonny rips Johnny because the actor looks as if he is having so much fun.

***Oh, wanted to add I thought Maurice Benard was absolutely adorable. Those dimples...swoon! I know Sonny is widely reviled but I wish he were allowed to be funny and have fun because I love Sonny when Maurice is amused. I actually laugh out loud when Sonny rips Johnny because the actor looks as if he is having so much fun.****


***Still not getting why 1) Anna is not staying in the VERY LARGE house Patrick owns and 2)Since she is staying at the Metro Court, why, EXACTLY, doesn't she get her own room???***


The whole "maybe" rape probably wouldn't have been so bad if Franco had not drugged Sam and she fought him off. Or, if the rapist turned out to have been one of the men that Sam married and ripped off looking for retaliation. I was looking for some kind of actual rape story line like Liz/RH had back in 1998 where you actually see a PSA!

There is one way for John's murdered "sister" s/l to work & it would be partially borrowing from ATWT's (sob)history. If the cousin lived with him & his brother & was either adopted or so close to the McBain brothers that they came to consider her like a sister. Outside of that, NOPE!

Am I the only one loving the crazies on the show at the moment? Heather..hilarious. Connie...hilarious. Can you picture Heather and Connie together even if it's crazy against crazy.
That convo would be all kinds of funny to me.

I did have some laughter moments with Heather and Sam's conversation. Sam being shocked that Heather sold her baby on the black market when she herself broke into Sonny's place to try to steal money from him to buy a baby from the black market. I guess that history is going to be forgotten. Then her trying to be shocked at Heather trying to poison the woman that she sold her child to even though she tried to convince Jason to take out a grandmother and her teenage granddaughter over Hope and got angry when he didn't go along with it or the fact that she played 'will I or will I not abort the baby' when she was pregnant and basically Jax and Sonny only wanted the baby and not her. I just find it funny when a person who has done some pretty crappy things involving children try to act all shocked and appalled at someone who has also done pretty crappy things to children.

Now Franco and Jason being twins. I have no problem with it. Really don't. Not when I'm dealing with a show where a woman almost froze the entire world, one of the greatest love stories happened between a rapist and the woman that he raped, and a man marries and possibly knocked up the woman that terrorized his first child and the mother of that child. Compared to that, suspending belief that Jason and Franco are twins is cake to me. Although I do have to say when Heather was talking about the birth of the boys, it so brought back to mind Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny Devito in Twins.

I so wanted Sonny to say hell no to Olivia when it came to Johnny because I can so see her doing the same thing that Carly did to him when it came to Jax. First the whole "do anything you can to make sure he goes down" and when Sonny does, then here comes being all appalled and "I don't know you were going to go that far. How could you? You're a monster...blah, blah, blah"

Am I the only one that feel like Johnny comes off like a rich frat boy snot? He's walking in the MC and I was seriously waiting for him to say "Look Sonny, I got your girl on my arm"...that's just how much he comes off like rich frat boy to me. He could be working with AZ and coming up with ways to take Sonny down or take some of Sonny's power but he would rather go to poor scholarship kid Steven and blackmail and threaten him instead. That's the reason why he comes off like rich frat boy instead of this bad ass mobster that I think they are trying to portray him as.

John still continues to annoy me. I do love that Anna tried to bring him down to reality. I'm highly disappointed in Michael. Starr remains an idiot and I just can't wait till Heather comes to town to cause problems for Sam, Olivia, and hopefully Johnny. An AZ/Heather convo. I could go for that too.

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