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« Death By Chocolate? | Main | The X and the Y »

April 24, 2012

Discomfort, Squared

Well y'all, I've made it up to the opening credits of today's General Hospital and it's clear to me that the only way to keep my sanity and sort through my feelings on it is going to be to just recap it as we go. To catch us up: Ewen's trying to figure out why Kate didn't show up to commit herself, Sonny's barging in on Johnny and Konnie in bed together (after a hilarious moan from Konnie that Sonny heard from downstairs, a moan so silly that I'm continuing to cross my fingers that this whole thing was staged and Johnny is not really that gross now -- I mean I know he's a mobster, but does he have to be a super-gross mobster in such an appealing package?), Michael is referring to Franco's rape of Sam as "all that craziness with Franco" because that is a respectful way to speak to a rape victim about what happened to her, Alexis is trying to chat with Jason (good luck), and Liz is lurking.


Credits. Commercials.

So... where was I? I kind of got distracted by "Johnny" and "appealing package" in the same sentence. 

Oh, Konnie looks kind of freaked out while Johnny smugs it up to Sonny who is... kind of under-reacting?

Michael and Carly cute it up at each other or something, and then Carly goes over to smite Sam for having kept the Robin secret from Jason for like a day and a half. Sam gets hilarious.

Sam: Okay, fine, I lied to Jason, you told him the truth, you're the best friend ever.

Ha! Love it. Carly feigns indignation that she was just making conversation and doesn't understand why she got so defensive.

Alexis and Jason talk about Sam having chatted with John McBain. SCANDAL!

John McBain is smirking it up with Max over at Casa Sonny, and Michael speaks for all of us when he finds the awesomely destroyed birthday cake. "Holy crap."

Elizabeth is trying to figure out what's going on with Ewen's patient, but he's got to rush off to find Konnie. Konnie, meanwhile, is telling an exceptionally bronze Sonny that she's with Johnny voluntarily and pretends that they've been having an affair for a couple of months. She gets all weepy, and Johnny throws his fist in the air and says, "Hell of a birthday, huh, Sonny?" 

Jason, who is trying to outdo himself in the "how to be horrible to your wife who just told you she's been impregnated by her rapist" department (it's a department, yes), starts challenging Sam about having spent time with John McBain while Carly looks on, delighted by the obvious discomfort of her "best friend" and his wife. Michael reports the gruesome cake crime scene to his mother, who says, "Kate probably did it. Her and Sonny must've gotten in a fight," and every part of me that ever even regarded grammar just a little bit dies inside. And Carly is completely punch drunk, if not actually drunk.

Johnny continues to taunt Sonny and Konnie improvises and Kelly Sullivan is pretty funny here. Sonny obviously pulls a gun on Johnny and suggests that he could kill them both. This somehow furthers the bronzeness of his complexion.


OH NO, Y'ALL, WILL HE MURDER THEM BOTH WHERE THEY LIE?! The suspense is killing me.

Sam tells Jason why she was talking to John McBain at her mother's house the other day, while McBain himself is giving Max a search warrant and then going upstairs at Casa Sonny by himself because Max is busy trying to evade Ewen's questions about Kate's location. Great right-hand man there, Max!

Konnie tries to stop Sonny from shooting Johnny and he tells her to shut up and that he doesn't care about her and OH MY GOD Y'ALL I AM SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW!

Sonny (to Konnie): I don't give a damn about you anymore! You're a FAITHLESS WHORE to me!

It has been so many years since we've gotten to hear Sonny call someone a faithless whore! I think I might cry a little. Sonny then announces that the only question he has right now is who he shoots first, and I do not think I've ever found him more heartthrobby than I do right at this moment! (You know, I've been complaining a lot about the lack of reduction in screentime for Sonny and Jason since Valentini and Carlivati took over but I have to say, I'm enjoying them both being portrayed as such unfathomable bastards at the moment because I like it when I feel like hating them is right, rather than wondering why in the world they are supposed to be the show's romantic heroes.) (Mind you, I only said "at the moment," and don't hold me to that!) Anyway of course Carly comes in downstairs and hears gunshots that will obviously not result in any deaths.

Max throws Ewen out of Casa Sonny and Max taunts John McBain, because Max is dumb. John makes a Tony Robbins joke and I make a mental note reminding myself that I really need to get around to unleashing the power within. It's been on the to-do list for a while. 

Jason further challenges Sam on this McBain business and is being incredibly annoying. Apparently Sam signed an imaginary full disclosure agreement with her husband, while he of course keeps about a million secrets from her every day because it's the "nature of the business" and then he just walks off and leaves his wife sitting there.

Sam and Alexis chat and I really am going to lose it if she doesn't just tell her mom what's going on. And instead of just asking Sam point-blank if John McBain was how she got a hold of Franco's DNA, Jason goes and grills Max about McBain and brings his nephew along to stand around looking concerned because it's "Bring Your Nephew to Work Day" for the mob.


He asks Max about Kate and then runs off, with Michael following him.

Carly, having seen Sonny wandering by with a gun in the hallway, rushes into the bedroom to find Konnie and Johnny there. She is very upset, and Johnny tells her it's not what it looks like. Then he explains to her that they slept together, which I assume is precisely what Carly thought it looked like. (None of this means that they didn't stage it, dammit! Hope springs eternal!) Konnie is fascinated by the bullet holes in the wall.


Alexis asks Michael for insight into Jason's general assitude, but he is able to provide none and this leads to a discussion about John McBain and his unnecessary personal grudge against Sonny and his various chats with Sam that have everyone's eyebrows raised. 

Jason goes to the hospital and shows Elizabeth a photo of John McBain and asks if he's the man she saw Sam with, which she confirms. Sam is having the standard soap scene of talking to her baby and foolishly telling her baby that Jason's going to be a great father when John McBain walks up.

Sonny bangs into his house and yells at Max and pours himself a drink, and the barware props have minds of their own today. Meanwhile Carly calls Konnie a "filthy bitch" and Konnie taunts her, asking if she's going to kill her, to which Carly retorts, "There's a first time for everything." Well, yes, Carly, if you killed her right now it would indeed be the first time you killed her. Well put! Anyway, Johnny accidentally calls her "Konnie," and Carly wonders why he called her that, and Konnie looks all nervous. Here's a hint, Krazy Konnie: if you don't want Carly to know you're the alter, fake Kate's accent the way we just saw you do the whole first half of the show for Sonny. IT'S NOT THAT HARD. And Johnny looks like he feels bad, not because he just had "sex" (maybe staged? maybe staged?) with Kate without anything resembling valid consent from the actual person, but because it made Carly mad.

I do not have the time or the energy or the wherewithal at the moment to get worked up about what has been done to a fake person with a silly soapy totally outlandish version of D.I.D., so I'm not going to rant right now, but I'm going to just keep putting it out in the universe: PLEASE LET IT HAVE BEEN STAGED.


"I've been complaining a lot about the lack of reduction in screentime for Sonny and Jason since Valentini and Carlivati took over but I have to say, I'm enjoying them both being portrayed as such unfathomable bastards at the moment because I like it when I feel like hating them is right, rather than wondering why in the world they are supposed to be the show's romantic heroes.)"

I don't see this with Sonny. If anything I would say that RC/FV have tried to make Sonny more sympathetic. He was falsely accused of killing Hope and Cole. He has a crazy girlfriend who slept with his worst enemy (of the month, anyway). Most importantly, he still has all his enablers - Carly, Olivia, Michael, Dante. Michael and Dante barely even let themselves believe for a second that Sonny might have been guilty of shooting out the tires.

Sonny has always been a scumbag. He always calls women whores and rants and raves. We're still supposed to love him. Previous regimes had him doing a lot worse than anything he's doing now - like shooting Robin - and he came out unscathed.

If Sonny seems unlikeable I think it's because Maurice Benard is just so bad and doesn't even try. Flubbed lines, monotonous shouting, devil stares, and all the usual.

As for Jason, my guess is the only reason he's behaving this way is because they want us to consider accepting Sam with John. As soon as this is done they will go back to Sam/Jason and probably have John lip-purse and rasp all over some other incubator. Sam herself is, as always in today's soap world, irrelevant.

Oh, Louise, you made me laugh out loud. Twice. Maybe three times. THANK YOU.

LOL line of the day Louise: because it's "Bring Your Nephew to Work Day" for the mob.

I can't muster any sympathy for Sam. And all the Jason left her here without a ride. Her mother was in the room, it's not like he dumped her on the side of the road. And wouldn't you be more upset if you were pregnant via rape by a certifiable psycho? I get that Jason's an ass, but he's processing, and I don't think his reaction is all that weird.

What is weird is that McBain keeps showing up at odd and inappropriate times--even for a soap.

Ron & Frank. Please give Elizabeth more to do. And where's Patrick?

I do have a question. I used to watch GH way back in the L&L, Scorpio/Holly/Anna days. Then I missed the start of the Sonny years. Came back when Sonny slept with Alexis, then stopped watching. Came back again when he & Emily were together. How did his character ever become popular? And could the man ever act? All he does is grimace, yell and glare.

Benard used to have some charisma and playfulness, and his pairing with Brenda was very popular in the mid-90's. He has coasted on that ever since.

I don't see how having someone scream "faithless whore" at someone, and then threaten to kill them, is trying to make them more sympathetic. Faithful whore maybe, but not faithless. And much like the ranting, false accusations are nothing new when it comes to Sonny. From him or against him. If they were trying to truly white hat him, which I think would be a mistake, they wouldn't have uber white hat John McBain going as his antagonist.

Lucy, MB was extremely charismatic in the beginning, a real gray hat you wanted to root for. But that was long before jazz hands and whores. He's capable of it, which is why it's that much more disappointing to me when he's disengaged.

"I don't see how having someone scream "faithless whore" at someone, and then threaten to kill them, is trying to make them more sympathetic. "

With this writer? I think it was. This is how RC writes leading men. Beyond that, RC or FV, I believe, said in an interview that this story is about "rebuilding" Sonny and his family.

Besides, GH has a long history of men talking to women this way. Lucky called Liz a faithless whore. Lucky said that the only time Liz was worthwhile was when she was bleeding in the snow from a rape. We were supposed to cheer him on.

The death threat was probably meaningless, to GH, because it's not like he actually did it. Even when he did shoot people (Carly, Dante, Robin), it was never actually Sonny's fault.

I do think this story is probably being done in part to make Sonny seem sympathetic. That's probably not the first goal (the first is apparently to shock and thrill us by having a woman with severe mental problems throw herself at all the men in town and finally manage to bed one), but I think it's a big goal.

I dunno. Maybe it's the pain medication I'rioja right now, but I kind of enjoyed today's episode. I thought the action moved quickly and some of the dialogue was funny at times.

I liked Michael today in both his scenes with Carly and then with Alexis. Usually, roll my eyes so hard at the stupidity during an episode of GH but today I rolled my eyes only during JaSam (as usual) and when Carly's reaction to hearing gunfire was to run towards it! Children be damned, because she had to run into a dangerous situation over a man. Ugh.

Sam continuing to lie about things she doesn't have to. Yeah, Jason's being bitchy but he's been continually lied to by his wife while assimilating the information that he's the twin of a psycho who raped his wife, impregnating her. I just don't see Jason being all that bad over this and I don't give Sam a pass. She could've confided in her husband or her mother or Spinelli but she has divulged pertinent, personal information about her husband and her relationship to a virtual stranger. McBain is cop with a vendetta toward Sonny, Jason's best friend and boss, not to mention the man who affords Jason and Sam a penthouse, their primary source of income and all of the "bed-linen"-looking maternity dresses a girl with no taste could want. Sam's an asshole. Loved when Alexis stated to her, "If you told me what was going on, I'd know what secrets to keep." Bravo! And Sam still didn't take Alexis up on spending time together but instead told her she'd wait for Jason, who was off doing whatever for who knows how long AND he never stated he would be returning! I guess, it was all for Sam's dramatic moment talking to her baby on the terrace. She talked about how great a man Jason. If he's so great, why does she not trust him with the truth? Sam's still an asshole.

Ewen is obnoxious as hell and I think the actor is poor. Glad Max threw him out and slammed the door in his face. I enjoyed Max v. McBain too. Loving McBain's presence in Port Charles.

Konnie's plan makes no sense and Johnny participating in it makes even less sense. Whether he penetrated Konnie or not, he has still taken advantage of a mentally ill woman. He's no better than OLTL's Ford. He's no worse than Ford because...well, Ford was THE.WORST.EVER. (I'll be forever grateful to Chandy!) So, Johnny deals in black market human organs? WTF?! Whoa.

I may be the lone dissenter in thinking Maurice Benard is a strong talent and I thought he did a great job today. Yes, Sonny is a lame character but I think MB is dynamite.

Thanks Carl and MD for the insight. I can't see it. And in no way do I think he's becoming more sympathetic. Maybe the reuniting is him and Carly back together--as if we want to see that.

I agree with Carl, I think Sonny is being more sympathetically than he has been in a while. That being said, since it's Sonny, "more sympathetic" would be some other character's "about to be written off the show because they're so damn awful", but ever since he scratched his shoulder for Dante (which is right when RC officially started) it seems to me they've been trying to make Sonny more sympathetic (genuinely trusting in his girlfriend, aforesaid scratch, being falsely accused, etc).

^^ Excuse my typos. "I'rioja" was not intended! Damned autocorrect!

"I may be the lone dissenter in thinking Maurice Benard is a strong talent and I thought he did a great job today. Yes, Sonny is a lame character but I think MB is dynamite."

It's easy to forget at times that MB does have a lot of fans. I always like the *idea* of this complex mob family, and I would much rather watch MB than Steve Burton, but I mostly feel like too much damage has been done.

I think the problem with Sonny and Jason is that the surface has nearly been scratched with what could be done with these characters. The same stories have been regurgitated over and over for the past 8-9 years. The last time I really like Sonny as a character was when he had the affair with Alexis. They were HOT, HOT, HOT. I last liked Jason when he began the second go of Liason (and just when they were being great friends to right after Jake was born) and that was ruined by the same 'ole mob nonsense.

Carly used to be dynamo who used to drive story but she has been reduced to just being Sonny's exwife and Jason's best friend. She needs an overhaul too.

I have this story idea of a woman whose home was broken up by Carly now being married to a Quartermaine relation and using this power to take away everything Carly has. This character needs to start over in every way, and lose the money and power. I think someone sees her as some type of "Real Housewife" of GH, which does not work.

If this is making Sonny a sympathetic character, then I'd hate to see what they'd do to someone they disliked.

With apologies to the late Billy Mays, I was really expecting him to jump out from behind Sonny today, in Johnny's bedroom, as the veins on his forehead popped out, as he sweated through his human skin suit, because Sonny was flashing more orange than a Homeland Security Airport Alert. It felt like the Mob Fairy had scattered cheeto dust all over the happy fellow.

I was so touched by the pain in Sonny's face. Finally, he looked to be in as much agony as he puts me.

Soapbaby, I agree with you about Michael. I'm starting to like/tolerate Michael more each time I see him lately. Whatever else RC has done, good or bad, for me, he's made Michael a more interesting character than I ever expected. This might be because he's acting and re-acting to some pretty strange characters, but it's also because they're having him show a certain maturity that is lacking in his adult counterparts.

On Friday, he was far more the adult than his lounge lizard of a father, and today, he was so much more the grown-up than his Mean Girl Mommie, Carly.

Sam and the Borg....how many times exactly will they have the same complication, the same conversation about his needs and her evasions? They have all the sparkle of recently exhumed corpses.

I was absolutely fascinated with Sonny's shiny suit! I could see Konnie and Johnny's reflections in the material.

I tried to watch today, I really did, but I just couldn't do it. Maurice made me laugh because he's so bad. I don't ever give a damn about anything Sonny or Jason do, so it was pretty much a wasted day for me. If Patrick, Anna, and/or Matt aren't on, I just fast forward and delete. Good news - it only takes 2 minutes to "watch" the show. I've got 40 more minute of my life back every day.

To defend Michael, and I can't believe I'm doing it (though I actually have been liking him lately), he doesn't know that Franco mayberaped Sam. (And it's still a "mayberape" to me, because Heather TOTALLY screwed with that DNA test.) No one except Jason, Sam, and McBain knows about that.

I did say "at the moment" for a reason in reference to Sonny's being portrayed as an unfathomable bastard. It was only in reference to the episode I was recapping, not Sonny's entire arc of late (which I've generally found alternatively dull as dirt or infuriating). I found yesterday to be a bit of relief.

Sam told Michael everything in Chicago after the CRANE-ing of Abby.

I love the names Louise and Mallory sometimes give to the screen caps..."Bronzesonny" is priceless!

Not surprisingly Sonny used the "WH" word for Connie/Kate. And yes what's up with that shiny suit! I am totally surprised no glasses were flung. I was waiting for it.

I think the writing for Carly is so bad. How old is this character supposed to be? boes, "Mean Girl Mommie" is a great name for her. The way she went over to Sam and did nothing but snipe and harp (and I'm not even a Sam fan), and then went over to Michael and was even more smug like it's the junior high school cafeteria. No disrespect to Carly fans but this is the heroine of the show and we are supposed to root for her? I agree Michael has been acting more mature than his parents lately.

Question: What was the reason for the party other than Coonnie destroying a perfectly good chocolate cake (r.i.p)?

I thought Connie held the party so she could destroy him in front of everyone! Personally I would have written it where Connie video taped her and Johnny having sex then showed up to the Metro Court in a fabulous 80's sequenced dress with full on 80's poofy hair. Have her give a campy over the top speech about revenge in her worst Bensonhurst accent and then play the tape for everyone to see. Now that would have been better!

Also part of me wanted Carly to kick off her heels and dive on the bed and start whooping Connies behind. I say it's time Connie and Caroline to get introduced and I don't mean a slap here and there. I want a old fashioned throw down like the ones from Dynasty and Falcon Crest. Hell I would love it if Carly showed up to Kates office ready to rumble with gym shoes and a jar of vaseline!

I would have loved a Dynasty style bout, LaTanya.

After what Sonny did to Johnny, public humiliation would have been nice, if they insisted on doing this "Johnny gives in to a mentally ill woman " story, which I wish they had not.

I want to root for someone and Sonny, Jason and Johnny are just class a jerks right now.

@LaTanya: Public humiliation of Sonny would have been PERFECT. One of my favorite episodes of ATWT was when Dr. John Dixon did not show for his lavish engagement party to Lisa Grimaldi but instead sent a recording of him stating how he had duped her into believing he loved her and had been playing her for months. She was humiliated on front of the whole town, including the media. It was INCREDIBLE. John had this elaborate ruse to payback Lisa for accusing him of malpractice, stripping him of his Cheif of Staff position at the hospital. The acting and dialogue was great and Larry Bryggman (John) and Eileen Fulton (Lisa) were incomparable.

How fitting would it have been for Sonny to have been publicly humiliated for the times he has publicly humiliated others? (Brenda, Claudia and Johnny immediately come to mind.) Uh, these writers took the cheap and lazy way out versus crafting a quality script.

I want to know who these people are that keep coming to Sonny's affairs. They all end in tears! And no cake.

"They all end in tears! And no cake." is hilarious! Love this comment! Hard to find comments I love these days. . . commenters used to be almost as fun and snarky as the ladies, but lately it's been all about complaining. sigh. Reminds me of GH.

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