When I see General Hospital, or any soap opera, for that matter, being discussed in the mainstream press, it makes me anxious. And when I see General Hospital in a headline alongside the world "cancelled" when I am quickly skimming the news, it makes me gasp a most melodramatic gasp, complete with widened eyes and a hand over heard maneuver that would do the terrifying Kate Howard/Connie Falconeri proud.
But then I remembered that reading comprehension is a thing, and paid attention to what I was looking at, which was a headline touting the news that The Revolution was cancelled and General Hospital was not. And I sighed a sigh of relief (...while rolling my eyes again, some more, at Brian Frons and his decision to cancel two legendary daytime dramas to make room for a bargain basement version of a TLC reality show that barely made it past the eight week mark. A dramatic middle finger may have been involved) because I simply cannot imagine my life without this show. You know, without this show's storylines, and without this show's beloved characters, and without this show's immense helpfulness in expanding my vocabulary of words and phrases that include expletives. I would be...empty.
Am I jumping the gun in celebrating, because the show still doesn't have a time slot this fall? YES. Considering ABC Daytime's history of stupidity, is there a chance that things will go haywire? YES. Do I care? NO. And is that the same response I had to Maggie's statement today?
Maggie: I haven't seen you in weeks!
YES, it is. "NO!" I said. "Why won't you stay gone?"