No really, she does!
Oh, the poor dear.
And why is Hope floating?
Well, as Bill felt the need to explain in charade form, she is the "picture" of mental instability. (This from a man who thinks his son should stay married to a woman who, as an adult, had a complete nervous breakdown because her father didn't remarry her mother a week after his divorce from her former stepmother.)
You see, this all started with a pool party. Caroline, who seems to function as a reminder that in New York, we do not have beaches or pools or fun or even daylight. Nobody in New York City would ever take a day off to relax and just have fun (and why would we? There's NOTHING TO DO HERE but work! How could we have fun?! We're always trying to catch a subway! Where would we even go?! The only thing there is to do here is eat pizza!).
But since she's learned that L.A. offers sunlight and happiness, she's sold and she's staying.
With a dog who randomly showed up. Did I miss a beat when I blinked? Is this her dog?
Mm-hm, yeah, she really looks like she's never done this before. How will she ever assimilate to these Californians and their laid-back, fun-having ways?! I worry so much for her cultural adjustment!
Little does she know what danger lurks beneath all this daytime relaxation.
There are women literally in the next room taking anxiety pills in the most dramatic head-tossing fashion possible!
Does anyone else love how Hope literally acting like Steffy on a regular day has got folks worried she's lost her mind? What's next, is she going to go around biting people's ears and saying, "Cha cha cha?"
No. No, she's not. 'Cause Hope floats. D'oh!
Meanwhile, Dayzee is explaining to us -- like the Human PSA they use her as -- why exactly Hope is now floating. As a result of Amber having procured Hope's prescription drugs online.
Dayzee:Yeah. I've heard some use lead-based paint to get the right color. Others, rat poison, sheetrock, speed, I mean, whatever's handy and cheap. And the pills can look so authentic that the actual drug manufacturers have a hard time telling the difference.
Amber: And how do you know all this?
Dayzee: Well, I've seen it, when I lived on the street. I had friends who purchased drugs online without a prescription, and they aren't around to talk about it. So, Amber, just stay away from that stuff, okay? I mean it. Online drugs can really mess you up.
Poor Dayzee, who mostly gets to stand around spouting statistics and factoids and be generally polite, having to deliver the most stilted dialogue ever while everyone else on the show is camping it up around a pool. They couldn't have made any effort to make that little didactic afterschool special moment sound remotely natural? No? Okay.
I do apologize for having temporarily abandoned my usual title strategy for B&B posts, but for obvious reasons this one was too hard to resist.
Who else is super-excited to watch all the guys try to play hero to the pretty, pretty princess/damsel-in-distress today? Are we taking bets on how long they'll stretch these scenes out so the dudes can stand around with their waxed and oiled-up chests all glistening from their heroics?