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« The Chronicles of Ridiculous | Main | Generally Happy »

April 10, 2012

Hope Floats

No really, she does!


Oh, the poor dear.

And why is Hope floating?


Well, as Bill felt the need to explain in charade form, she is the "picture" of mental instability. (This from a man who thinks his son should stay married to a woman who, as an adult, had a complete nervous breakdown because her father didn't remarry her mother a week after his divorce from her former stepmother.)

You see, this all started with a pool party. Caroline, who seems to function as a reminder that in New York, we do not have beaches or pools or fun or even daylight. Nobody in New York City would ever take a day off to relax and just have fun (and why would we? There's NOTHING TO DO HERE but work! How could we have fun?! We're always trying to catch a subway! Where would we even go?! The only thing there is to do here is eat pizza!).


But since she's learned that L.A. offers sunlight and happiness, she's sold and she's staying.


With a dog who randomly showed up. Did I miss a beat when I blinked? Is this her dog?


Mm-hm, yeah, she really looks like she's never done this before. How will she ever assimilate to these Californians and their laid-back, fun-having ways?! I worry so much for her cultural adjustment!

Little does she know what danger lurks beneath all this daytime relaxation.


There are women literally in the next room taking anxiety pills in the most dramatic head-tossing fashion possible!



Does anyone else love how Hope literally acting like Steffy on a regular day has got folks worried she's lost her mind? What's next, is she going to go around biting people's ears and saying, "Cha cha cha?"


 No. No, she's not. 'Cause Hope floats. D'oh!

Meanwhile, Dayzee is explaining to us -- like the Human PSA they use her as -- why exactly Hope is now floating. As a result of Amber having procured Hope's prescription drugs online.


Dayzee:Yeah. I've heard some use lead-based paint to get the right color. Others, rat poison, sheetrock, speed, I mean, whatever's handy and cheap. And the pills can look so authentic that the actual drug manufacturers have a hard time telling the difference.

Amber: And how do you know all this?

Dayzee: Well, I've seen it, when I lived on the street. I had friends who purchased drugs online without a prescription, and they aren't around to talk about it. So, Amber, just stay away from that stuff, okay? I mean it. Online drugs can really mess you up.

Poor Dayzee, who mostly gets to stand around spouting statistics and factoids and be generally polite, having to deliver the most stilted dialogue ever while everyone else on the show is camping it up around a pool. They couldn't have made any effort to make that little didactic afterschool special moment sound remotely natural? No? Okay.

I do apologize for having temporarily abandoned my usual title strategy for B&B posts, but for obvious reasons this one was too hard to resist.

Who else is super-excited to watch all the guys try to play hero to the pretty, pretty princess/damsel-in-distress today? Are we taking bets on how long they'll stretch these scenes out so the dudes can stand around with their waxed and oiled-up chests all glistening from their heroics?


I miss OLTL -- they understood the whole dramatic/campy balance perfectly. Anyhoo...

It's probably just me, but Kimberly Matula (Hope) does nothing to inspire me to watch B&B (although to be fair, very little does). I'm not really sure who the show thinks is going to be lured in by the "provocative"/ripped-from-the-headlines nature of this story. Plus, Hope will be over her addiction in time for a new fall storyline so I can't get too caught up in any of the "blink-and-you'll-miss-it" problems the characters on this show seem to have. (On the plus side, however, we do get a delightfully snarky Louise post so I guess there is some benefit to this show's storytelling style...)

Caroline annoys me and it's really not the character or the actresses fault. It's actually the shows fault of writing everyone fawning over her beauty and personality when they only met her like 5 seconds ago. Her entrance on the show especially annoyed me with all the men stopping to look at her walk in awe as she passed by and I'm like WTF on that one considering that she doesn't have a look like JMW who plays Steffy or a Hunter Tylo (before all the surgery/botox) where you don't see a face like that on an everyday basis. You can walk into any mall in America and see a girl that looks like Caroline so for everyone to stop and stare when it's like hundreds of girls that look exactly like her (even Hope is looking similar to her) is ridiculous to me.

Storyline wise, can they dumb Liam down anymore then they already has. Stevie Wonder could have seen that girl was high, but yet he has a convo with her, knows something is wrong then proceeds to join the group talking about some dog they saw online.

Hope falling into the water was all kinds of funny to me and no Dirk, it's not just you abut KM inspiring someone to watch B&B. I don't like this character simply because she never takes responsibilities for her actions and it's always someone else's fault why she does the things she does. I am surprised that at least today we got a reprieve from Hope and/or Brooke using the phrase "If Steffy had...(fill in the blanks)". Of course when the whole drug thing comes out, it's going to be Amber's fault for supplying her with the drugs and Steffy's fault for not signing the annullment papers in the first place which 'forced' Hope to have to take drastic actions to not only sleep with but move in with Liam which cause her to take the drugs in the first place. It's not going to be Hope's fault even though she's looked at her hand, acknowledging the shakes she's having and common sense should tell her that no Doctor sends over pills with a handwritten note of "here's more pills to help you" when just before they were so adament about not giving her any more.

I wish the show would focus on the older adults. I still missed the possibilities of the Thorne/Ridge war over FC with Taylor and her kids having majority of the sharesand deciding to side either with Thorne, who would have gotten Thomas out of the basement or Ridge, who lives by making Brooke happy even if it's at the deteriment of his own children. The Hope/Liam/Steffy storyline has gotten old with me wishing that they would bring on someone new for Steffy and let Hope and Liam try to live in their delusional world they have built up for themselves. The alternative of Thomas/Caroline/Rick/Amber holds even less of an appeal for me considering the writing on the wall for Amber is clear with her thinking she was helping to win Hope over with supplying and unknowing Hope with drugs and only making things worse.

Call me when Hope starts popping pills in a GONDOLA.

Gondola should definitely be part of this storyline.

Great post, Louise.

Dirk Mancuso, I agree that Kim Matula is being misused. Hope is okay in a supporting capacity -- as is most of the youth set on this show. The whole thing falls apart when they're expected to carry the whole thing.

While I think neither Hunter Tylo nor Katherine Kelly Lang are exactly Meryl Streep, they always did have that presence so necessary for soaps. Why Bell thinks he has found a repeat of that era with this group of actors (save Scott Clifton who is quite gifted but playing a horrid character) is beyond me.

Louise, thank you for hitting the nail on the head: this younger generation of B&B players lack the magic of previous successful triangles but I think a lot of that boils down to the old adage of if it ain't on the page, it ain't on the stage.

And that was at the heart of my comment about Kim Matula -- for me her character is so under-developed that nothing I see in the 30 second commercials for B&B inspires me to watch (and that's not good for any show, especially the soaps these days). On the other hand, when I saw the commercials for that whole Oliver sleeps with Brooke after mistaking her for Hope trainwreck and the Brooke/Thomas eating magic berries, it was appointment tv. Both situations were insanely stupid to me, but I know Brooke's character and I totally wanted to see not only how she wound up in her latest mess but how she would handle herself after the fall-out (which is what good soap opera storytelling should do to keep viewers coming back).

I thought I was going crazy. I just saw the dog pop up out of nowhere.Just saw it once and then it disappeared.It was just in that one scene. Maybe it went for a swim.

Barbara, right? Wasn't that dog so random? I guess they do a lot of those location shoots at various Bell properties so maybe that was some Bell family dog who wandered into the shot!

The dialogue on this show mesmerizes me. It was like the writers play a game of MadLibs, and whatever fills in the blank, that's what they have the characters say.

It's like a demonic "Dick and Jane" storyline.

Hope is a dope.

Hope does dope.

Hope is a dope.

Hope the dope Hope can float.

Float, Hope, Float.

Float, Float, Float.

Float to the dope, Hope.

B&B is like an order of Taco Bell's Volcano Nachos. You know you shouldn't, you know it's not good for you, but standing next to the show's insane badness, is a perverse hint of Bizarro greatness.

I am a new poster but have been lurking on the boards here for a while. I just had to thank Louise for the laugh out loud! Float to the dope Hope indeed! I was waiting for the randomly thrown in pooch to paddle over and save that idiot! Or not...

I didn't think Dayzee's speech was so bad. I've heard much worse PSA dialogue (Y&R used to just have people read statistics like they were going to give you a quiz at commercial).

The more I see of the actress who plays Dayzee the more impressed I am - it's been a long time since I've seen someone who manages to make the tedious recap dialogue almost seem human. The only other one on B&B who does that is Heather Tom.

Did anyone else feel amused/disturbed by the closeups of Liam laughing and laughing as (without his knowledge) Hope was floating face down? It was just so very, very cautionary 1967 LSD movie.

Oops...thanks to Hoes for the Lol. Sorry.

Jesus Christmas! BOES....not hoes. Ok am going to stop posting now.

Can anyone answer a question for me? I heard (maybe incorrectly) that Karen and St. Caroline were sisters and never met. Is that true? And if so how is that possible? Thanks!

Karen was taken at birth, or something. No one ever knew of her existence until Taylor's ex-husband spotted her in a diner in Arizona or New Mexico and thought he could use her to break up Taylor/Ridge. She was raised under the name Faith and had been raised by a woman who ran a diner (played by Dorothy Lyman). I don't remember a lot else. She went to LA, got a makeover to look like Caroline, and was introduced to Ridge (who, after a brief moment, wasn't interested).

+++Oops...thanks to Hoes for the Lol. Sorry.

Posted by: Slappie Jones+++

LOL! That is the best typo of my screenname, EVER, Slappie!

But I think it makes sense that you used the word, "Hoes" instead of Boes. "Hoes" sort of describes a LOT of B&B!

Thanks Carl, that clears it up! I couldn't figure out (due to the nausea inducing love fest) how identical twins never met. And Ridge losing interest quickly....well that's just hard to imagine!

Dear Boes : I wish I could take credit for being clever, alas, I just didn't check the autocorrect before I hit send. No disrespect intended. I enjoy reading all the comments more than watching this show. I wonder if the PTB ever read these? They should! I never did like Hope and now she has crossed over into just damnable annoying.

*** damn annoying...sigh.

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