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« On Mysteries and Meltdowns | Main | The Quick and the Sincere »

April 02, 2012

Memory Lane Is My Favorite Neighborhood In Port Charles

Thousands (do thousands of people still watch this show? For honesty's sake, I'd like to revise that, but "tens" just doesn't have the same flair) of General Hospital fans spent years railing against the show's complete unwillingness to even mention, let alone honor, its history. I'd like to speak on behalf of myself and the other eight people still watching this show and profess my thanks to the writers for blessing us with a sterling recap of Heather Webber's misdeeds and craziness!

Steve: Anyway, my father, being the stand-up guy he is, wanted my mother to get an abortion, but she didn't.
Olivia: Thank god.
Steve: Instead, she had me, and, uh -- sold me to another couple.
Olivia: Are you serious right now?
Steve: Apparently the going rate was 10,000 bucks.
Olivia: That is truly horrible. I don't know what to say.
Steve: That's not the worst part of the story. Heather, my mother, eventually changed her mind.
Olivia: Of course she did. She wanted you back.
Steve: She concocted this -- this whole plan to drive my adopted mother insane -- and this was where it gets wacky -- by slipping her some LSD.
Olivia: Wait, so -- so what happened? Did it work?
Steve: Not exactly. She wound up drinking the spiked tea herself and completely broke down mentally.

This condensed version of a particularly fantastic era in GH history also meant that we got to see one of my favorite recurring soap opera elements in action: when a character is confronted with a situation that can only be described as well...soapy. It's fascinating to me to see how the character reacts to the weirdness that their life has taken. They sometimes, like real life human beings would, find it to be absurd. And they are sometimes so resigned to the ridiculousness of their lives that they can't even be bothered to give a half-hearted shrug.

Olivia Falconeri is one of the former soap characters, reacting to Steve's story with a variety of facial expressions that I can only describe as being wildly over-the-top and more appropriate for a silent film (she also, because she is terrible, interrupted her boyfriend's story to make things all about herself and her own out of wedlock pregnancy. She's so happy that Steve is finally opening up to her that she just has to talk about herself!). She burned off about three hundred calories just by wiggling her eyebrows to denote surprise and horror.

Speaking of surprise and horror: THIS ENTIRE CONVERSATION TOOK PLACE WHILE THEY WERE NAKED, POST-SEXING. Sorry for the semi-hysterical caps lock, but WHAT?! WHO DOES THAT AND WHY AND ALSO, ACK! THE GRUESOME TWOSOME HAS TURNED ME INTO CATHY! BASTARDS!

Comments

Since most of us who watch GH don't really know the McBain back story, I don't really care if he did or did not have a sister. If it's his motivation to take down Sonny (will that really be possible?), then revenge for his sister's death works for me.

I don't think I can take months of Franco discussion. Why are we subjected to this? No one liked the Franco story line--no one.

Unfortunately for McBain he is trying to take down Sonny for a crime he actually didn't officially commit. This was a Guza standard operating procedure that it seems is continuing. Sonny can be self-righteous and indignant that he is innocent and he is (technically). So unless McBain tries to get Sonny for one of his many actual misdeeds, he probably never will get him for anything unfortunately. But it'll be fun to see him get under Sonny's skin.

I'm dying to see how Kate/Connie shot out TWO tires on a moving car. If Sonny says he's not that good of a shot, will we learn that Connie's father used to take her to target practice back in the day? I'm sort of betting on Ewen being the shooter somehow...he seems pretty shady, and he was missing the night he was supposed to meet Liz at the Metro Court party. Maybe he was a shooting champion back in Australia.

Heather Webber..that is some crazy biotch for sure.Helena better watch her back. TIRED of O& Steve but sure would like to have her deal with Heather. Whoa..she can't bat her lashes and get away from her.Sam get over it other people have had kids and yours is no exception. The DNA will NOT match Franco so get over it..move on..Lord they sure try and beat things to death. Better step it up GH or ABC will pull the port charles plug..that there would be a real sad shame. :o(

The fact that Sonny is not technically responsible for the accident might allow law enforcement and McBain to let him off the hook for this particular incident, but Todd wont see it that way.

Especially if it turns out to be Connie/Kate with DID who shot out the tires, and especially since it appears that Connie/Kate is a result of the violence she has experienced in connection to Sonny. Todd will equate that to his father causing Viki's (Todd's older sister) DID.

Remember how crazy he went when he thought Patrick Thornhart purposely caused the accident that killed Patrick and Blair's child (who was a bone marrow match for his sick daughter Starr)?? Todd is rarely (read never) logical in his rage, and if he fixates on Sonny it could be loads of fun!

"Remember how crazy he went when he thought Patrick Thornhart purposely caused the accident that killed Patrick and Blair's child (who was a bone marrow match for his sick daughter Starr)?? Todd is rarely (read never) logical in his rage, and if he fixates on Sonny it could be loads of fun!"

If that story is any indication, then he will accidentally kill the wrong person, and talk to a parrot.

Hehe and marry a money grubbing status seeking lawyer. Then tear his own world apart (out of guilt) and sit in the ruins wondering what the hell happened. Could be good!

I can truly say one of my favorite GH memories is of Heather and the Diana Taylor murder story... GH at its finest....

Diana Taylor was PJ Jr (Steve Webber) adopted mother. She was killed and the surrounding murder mystery was my favorite "who do it" storyline ever!!!

Love Robin Mattison --she is the best ! and she played Heather during this storyline. Hated the last time she was back with the whole Luke back story fascination...

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