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« Just Joy. | Main | Do You Want the Good News or the Bad News First? »

April 30, 2012

Since When Is This Show Un-Fast-Forwardable?!

That's not to say that the show is without its flaws (see below for a list, and by no means an exhaustive one, of flaws with this episode, an episode I happened to enjoy quite a lot. I...am a mean-spirited complainer of a person, I realize), but I do have to take a second to marvel at how easy it is to sit through an episode of General Hospital in which Sonny and Jason don't make appearances. Right? Normally by the time the credits roll, I've already began to wish away the next 58 minutes of my life, but on days like this, the only time I fast-forward is to get through the commercials and back to the show as quickly as possible. It's a world gone mad!

Well...not totally mad. It's a world gone very slightly crooked. Because as much as I liked today's show (the things I type that I never imagined typing!), I still have quibbles.

Like: why the hell would Dante, without a single shred of evidence (or, evidently, any real understanding of how to manage the behavior of nutters! Screaming and threatening is very rarely effective, Falconeri!), tell Ronnie every single one of the suspicions he and Lulu had about his involvement in the exotic dancer attacks. "You're very clearly unstable and surprisingly smart for a police officer in Port Charles, since you managed to attack people, falsify evidence and frame an innocent man. At best, you're holding my wife captive and will torture her psychologically. At worst, you'll kill her. I have absolutely no proof of any of this, but let's try to talk it out! And by 'talk', I mean 'scream'!" Is it any wonder he ended the episode handcuffed to a desk, powerless to save his wife, and in danger of being tried for a host of violent crimes? 

Then there are Kate andConnie and Olivia. The former was featured quite prominently, both in the present (where she continued to do a pretty spot-on impression of Stockard Channing in Grease) and in flashbacks (where she was seen, repeatedly, bludgeoning Ewen) and the latter whined and whined and whined and incorrectly assumed that her cousin would spare a shred of sympathy to the plight of Steve, who was arrested for being criminally uninteresting, or involved in a murder, or whatever.

Olivia: You're telling me you'll feel comfortable frolicking around a beach with Sonny while Steve is rotting in jail.

Um...yes? I'm not entirely sure Steve and Kate-and-Connie have actually had a conversation, and even if they had, I'm sure she tuned out every time he spoke because he is the least interesting person on the planet.

Felicia made her dramatic return and--you know what? I was so excited about her appearance on Friday and I was so teary-eyed when she was telling Anna what a special girl Robin was that I almost don't even want to type the following, but: really. Kristina Wagner's pronunciation of certain-slash-most words had me flummoxed. So help us if she and Sonny ever have long scenes together; I am pre-cringing at the amount of awkward pausing and absurd emphases that will be going on.

Oh, and as ever: SHUT UP, SPINELLI.

Spinelli who, may I remind you, not just WORKS FOR a HITMAN, but WORSHIPS said HITMAN: He's guilty of a crime. You're circumventing justice! That's not right! [...]It's not up to us to play god.



Honestly, I don't find DZ's acting to be honest or genuine at all. Now, I also think that the storyline itself didn't allow for much better (an honest and genuine reaction probably would have been in the form of Dante doing some investigating and not shouting/becoming a bull-frog, but we have to watch Luke and Anna go on the hunt for Lulu because Tony Geary is cool like that...)

Further, KW is... awful. I mean, I'm not sure whether I would rather listen to Olivia call someone "Honey" or Felicia say... anything. I remember watching Felicia back in the day and I was kind of indifferent to her, but now I really do wish that Maxie would just tell her off and she could be on her way.

I actually really enjoy watching both Anna and Heather. Heather especially seems to be adding this weird zest to the show.

I found a gig where Bradford Anderson was a good actor and spoke english!!! He was on an episode of Veronica Mars (which repeats 2x daily on Soapnet)and I beleive he was part of a gay bashing storyline that Veronica was investigating. He spoke ENGLISH!!!! And was calm! His emotions were appropriate for the scenes that he was in. I have to admit when I saw his name flash in the opening credits I almost threw a shoe and changed the tv. I'm glad I watched. He was a pleasant change compared to Spinelli.

Beth R and LogopolisMike?? Have you ever watched Pregnant in Heels on Bravo? There is a woman (not actress) on there that has the same speech patterns as Felicia Jones. My sister (who is a GH fan from WAY BACK) and I decided that Felicia and Rosie Pope have the same speech impediment. I AM mean and evil so I will continue to mimic them but I don't think it's an acting choice on KW's part.

BN and Beth R., I can't speak to KW's weird pronunciations, though I do remember the annoying quality of her voice, but I have to say: Memoirs IS French and the way you have written her pronunciation of it looks to me a lot like the way it's supposed to be pronounced.

I'd love to see a youtube clip of it just so I could hear what it really sounded like :) Do you guys know the year so I can hunt it up?

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