The Long and the Repetitive
It's remarkable that a show with only eighteen minutes of content each day can feel so endless. I generally watch on the CBS website so I can see the little progress bar at the bottom of the picture and on the days that are exclusively Hope/Liam/Steffy-oriented, that thing practically slows to a dead halt. A commercial will come on and I will celebrate the end, only to notice there are still two segments to go. Yesterday was one of those days. Yet another episode about how Steffy, Liam, and Hope are all tedious and annoying people, but for some reason I doubt that was the intention on any front. I'm pretty sure we're supposed to see this as a super-exciting triangle about which there will be internet fan wars for decades to come. Count me out, please!
First, we had Liam doing his usual thing, which was touching and hugging and giving flirtatious and warm glances to the woman he is allegedly not with right now, and confiding in her about incredibly inappropriate information about someone he knows to be her romantic rival. (That's sort of all we need to know to understand that [a] he does not really love or respect either woman and [b]he is a total douchebag and in no way worth a triangle. Right? RIGHT?)
And Steffy launched into some of her trademark manipulation and Liam once again fell for all of it hook, line, and sinker. (Y'all, one day I dream that a man will be so in love with me that all he'll ever need to be totally convinced he's wrong about me is one conversation with someone with a known agenda! Men whose minds can be changed about major life issues in one conversation every single day of the week are super-dreamy, right?)
Steffy: Liam, I've said this a billion times. You know, she's a Logan, and they all have issues. She complicated your life before, and she's doing it again. I hate seeing this happen to you. I really do. [Because as we'll all recall, Liam's life with Steffy was super low-maintenance and complication-free! --Ed.]
"Golly gee, she has a point! I did have an argument with my girlfriend, I guess her whole family must be insane!"
Liam: Hope wants to talk.
Steffy: She probably feels bad about the way she treated you. Liam, she's unstable. [Says the woman who practically drove herself off a cliff over her parents not remarrying for the twenty-seventh time. --Ed.] She hasn't learned how to deal with life.
Liam: I just want some answers.
Steffy: Well, you know, um...you may not get them.
Liam: Yeah, but it was one disagreement. I mean, I don't want to overreact.
Steffy: And I don't want her to hurt you again. Oh look, you, um -- you know that I would never walk away from you. I mean, you filed for divorce, and, uh... (chuckles) I'm still wearing my ring. Some people, they may not-- they may not get that, but, um, that's how much I believe in us. Hope's a sweet girl, but it happened all over again -- the complications, the drama. [Says famously No-Drama Steffy! --Ed.] Where's the smile? Cha-cha-cha! [It keeps happening, make it stop! --Ed.] Keep an open mind.
Where have we seen that scene before? Oh yeah, I remembered. ALL OF THE EPISODES EVER.
And then the big actualmoment in this episode was undoubtedly meant to be Hope confessing to Liam the terrible sin of going to therapy and getting a prescription. Why oh why could they not have given this character a shred of rootability but having her turn a little more fun after the fans and paparazzi got to her by just shutting up about being a role model, deciding it was ridiculous to equate a fashion line with virginity, and just telling the world that she changed her damn mind!
Oh yeah. 'Cause she's Hope and it's this show. Instead, we need to be subjected to her self-flagellation over losing her virginity. (I swear right here and now that if Caroline Part II, who already seems just as bland and pure as Hope, turns out to be a virgin as well I will scream. I hope she turns out to be some wild party girl. This show seems to have a little trouble finding ground between young women who are pure and squeaky-clean and boring and young women who are trouble-makers and manipulative and scheming and dangerous. Hey Bill Bell! There's a whole spectrum of women out there between angelic and evil! Complexity is interesting!) (I realize he thinks he's making Hope all complex by giving her this drug addiction, but when it's an addiction to prescription pills that were then replaced by possibly-laced-with-something online pills totally unbeknownst to her, it sort of undermines her culpability and removes her agency once again making this REALLY BORING.)
Speaking of which, I once again found Amber of all people to be the most compellingly written character yesterday. What the what? Seriously, her scenes with Hope were very entertaining as she was trying (and failing) to play the role of supportive friend but had no idea how to do it -- so instead, she just kept waiting for Hope to make a declaration or decision and then immediately jumped in with a, "Yeah, yeah, I was about to say that's exactly what you should do!"
See? I had something nice to say! It's not easy with this storyline.