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« Since When Is This Show Un-Fast-Forwardable?! | Main | The Old and the Dutiful »

May 02, 2012

Do You Want the Good News or the Bad News First?

I'm practicing my "doctor breaking the news" speech because there's a new opening at General Hospital in Port Charles, New York. I hear it's a tough town and tends to be overrun by the mob, but I actually hear the particular mob that's generally winning the various mob wars is made up of saintly hitmen and mob bosses who really, really love their children. So it can't be all bad, right? 


So let's start with the bad news, shall we?

  • Starr is back. She is looking for Sonny, the man who killed her family, "unless he dint." As she put it. Is that mean? I'm feeling mean. Anyway, she took Johnny's gun, so is of course off to do something really smart and fun.
  • Jason is still an ass. Getting excellent advice from both Elizabeth and Sonny to actually try to be patient and listen to Sam and show her some compassion in the wake of her trauma, well... it didn't stick. He walked into his house and started yelling at his wife within seconds. And it's still about her talking to John McBain, just after he has reported Sam's personal business to two other people. After telling Sam that talking won't help anything. When she pointed out this double standard to him (after learning that he told Liz everything), he was unmoved. And then when she broke my heart, telling him it seems as though he can't even look at her...

"It's like I'm tainted!"

Hint to Jason: when your recently-raped wife tells you that you can't look at her and it makes her feel tainted, look at her. Immediately. (Spoiler: Jason did not take the hint.) Anyway, she's going to move out to give him some time to decide whether he's going to leave his wife over this. I hope he chokes on that time. She says she's trying to do what's best for her child and, hint to Sam: not raising your child with a hitman is a good start.

  • In general, the usual dull things are happening, like cops trying to bust Sonny (Gasp! Will John McBain imprison Sonny for real? It's so hard to tell!) and Starr's after Sonny for revenge (Gasp! Will Starr kill Sonny? It's so hard to tell!). I have this little fantasy: since we know Sonny won't get killed or imprisoned, can someone opposing Sonny come up with a different plan? I'd love to see someone work to take away his power -- not a stronger mobster, but somebody smarter and with a moral or two. That way there could be some curiosity about the outcome. A powerless and penniless Sonny could actually be an interesting story. But this stuff? Old hat, we don't need it. But we're sure getting it.

The good news?

  • We got a flashback to Sonny's shiny suit.


I'm already sick to death of the constant flashbacks to things that just happened (a Valentini/Carlivati habit I never did appreciate), but when they are to super-awesome things like destroyed cakes or funny shiny suits on angry men, I can live with it.

  • There was a catfight. Sometimes these work, and sometimes they're just too ridiculous and contrived. But Carly and Konnie are both pretty ridiculous. So it made some sense. And the best part was that it basically started when Konnie was walking away and Carly just pushed her from behind, like a Mean Girl on a playground. 


Which is a pretty apt act, as it's a pretty apt description of these people. And I mean, I realize these two women do co-own the hotel, but it was hysterical that this was all happening in a public hotel lobby that would theoretically be full of people. Just standing around. Watching.




Sadly, someone did eventually have the presence of mind to stop them. Anyway, Carly learned that Kate has D.I.D., so I'm psyched for her to google that. I hope she figures it out quickly.

  • Elizabeth had a conversation with Olivia, trying to figure out the whole situation with Kate and Ewen and Johnny and Steve. I'd love to see Liz get a new friendship with a woman, instead of the way they so often just pit her opposite them (and yes, Olivia's been written as a mega-bitch lately, but hopefully they can soften her). And I do always enjoy Liz in Nancy Drew mode!

I have to say it was a rough one after a nice handful of episodes that were much lighter on Sonny and Jason and Carly and Johnny and Starr, but see? I found some positives! Don't ever say I'm a Negative Nellie! Mostly because that's annoying.

Can we get back to Anna now?


I hate Jason so much right now. That is all.

@Danielle This. Treating a rape survivor like dirt? Treating a RECENT rape survivor like dirt? Treating a recent rape survivor who is your WIFE like dirt? Jason is a thoroughly awful human being.

I don't even care about Jason and Sam and I called Jason an ass today.

Loved the cat fight, only wish it had been longer AND had Cutter from OLTL in the background (I still say he made that one fun). I caught myself rooting for Carly and that never happens.

When Starr came on I literally groaned.

Did you catch that wicked laugh Connie/Kate let out when the cops missed her and she sneaked out the door? She reminded me of the 80's video Criminal Mind by Gowan (which is a wickedly awesome music video by the way).

Sonny was actually bearable today, I didn't mind him at all, but I did like Liz and Liv working together. I could see them being friends. And this is giving Heather plenty of time to dispose of the body.

I hste Jsson. More than Sonny. More than Spinelli. Even more than Starr. I hate Jason.

Which left me wondering why really terrible 70's songs keep going through my mind whenever Jason appears - and it hit me! He is just as mind-numbing as some of those songs were.
So, in honor of Jason, a tribute to him from the song, "Love Grows Where My Rosemary Goes", by Edison Lighthouse - a song almost, though not quite, as horrid as he....

He's a real dummy
His stares are kinda funny
His attitude is real sleazy
Oh, but dumb grows where my Borg Jason goes
Cuz nobody's dumb like he.

He talks kinda lazy
And people say he's crazy
And his appeals a real mystery
Oh, but dumb grows where my Borg Jason goes
Cuz nobody's dumb like he.

Sometimes he looks like a long-dead bad mime
Or he's off to commit a crime
And I just gotta say
he's really got a magical smell
It's just like being in hell
And I can't get away-yy

He's such a dumbass felon
I've really got to tell him
That he bores me endlessly
Oh, but dumb grows where my Borg Jason goes
Cuz nobody's dumb like he.

The smell is growing every place he's been
And nobody knows like me

If you love Borg Jason, your life you are a-wastin'
And nobody knows like me

La la la- believe it when you've seen it
Nobody knows like me

Starr is unwatchable. I get that she is grieving, but her mugging for the camera is ridiculous.
This show has a history of treating rape victims like garbage. The only respectable job was with Elizabeth. Recently I have been watching reruns on SoapNet in the middle of the night (while I am feeding my 10 week old son!) and was reminded of that crappy storyline back in 2007 when Jax was kidnapped by Irina and kept on a ship. She, gun to temple and threatening his family, forced him to have sex. I don't remember if Jax used the word rape, but many fans and magazine writers did. And of course Carly was pissed at Jax, saying he cheated on her. She even said something about how he "performed" so well that Irina wanted more. What is it with men writers and rape? Ugh.

I didn't mind Starr today. Hmn. I hope she shoots Sonny and he's in a coma for months. Then he can be off our screen for a while and Mo can have a much needed vacay.

I would also love someone to go after the money where Sonny is concerned. I vote Blair for that. . .if there's a woman who can go after the money it's her! Love my Blair, but unfortunately Tea is coming. sigh. Don't get me wrong, FLozano is awesome (when not in screech mode) but I'm a todd and blair kinda girl. sigh. I fear we may never see them together again. My heart breaks.

Unrelated, I thought Sonny was good today and I'm starting to hate Johnny. What's going on? The world is turning upside down!

boes, that is an impressive lyrical showing! And very apropos.

Was it just me, or did it seem like Liz and Olivia just kept walking in circles?

I appreciate the show trying to instill some energy into scenes, when it had been so stagnant and so full of "two people sitting on a couch talking" scenes for months on end.

But all the walk-and-talks in the hospital amuse me because you know they're just walking around the same hospital hallway, just slightly staged differently.

"Can we get back to Anna now?"

We'd have to go back to 2003 to do that.

I guess there's a reason for Connie's trashy behavior, but Carly is gruesome to watch. She seems to regress more each year, along with Laura Wright's acting ability. That type of catfight works more in a Flava Flav series.

I don't think Kristen Alderson is a bad actress, and I do think she has chemistry with Chad Duell. I don't care about more of Starr's "singing" but I do hope her story will improve once she does the perfunctory apology and shame game with Sonny.

Jason's douchiness right now is on par with Nicholas' "why won't you have sex with me Emily" post Connor rape.
He sinks to new lows every episode!

I don't hate Jason. I think the last brain surgery actually gave us a clue that he is NOT the same man that collects babies by the dozen and is uber sensitive.

IMO one of the best rape s/l was OLTL's bad girl Marty Saybrooke followed by Liz's rape on GH. Marty did all kinds of horrible things, but the difference is we the fans could tell that she was acting out of grief from when her parents died on a boat at the age of eight. Marty's dirty deeds always came to light, and IMO it made for an interesting character. Plus, Marty had Viki Buchanan in her corner the town's heroine. I could truly empathize with Marty and a bratty Liz. Sam on the other hand? Crickets. Sam has done a lot of dirty crap (tampered with Jax's car so that he couldn't say goodbye to his father, all of the stuff that she did in 2007 with Jake, Liz, Jason and Cam). I get that Sam was raped, but it is way too hard to be sympathetic IMO for a character whose dirty deeds were swept under the carpet and never outed like Marty's.

I think old Sam was hoping that Jason would agree to raise the baby like he did back in 2004 when Sonny was the father. Sam already hoped for a miscarriage, so if she wasn't so far along right now, Sam would be heading to Dr. Lee's office.

Liz and Marty would always flinch for the longest time whenever someone would touch them, Sam does not act in any way like she was raped. All I saw was Sam looking to con Jason into making a commitment to raise Franco's child and he's not ready to to do it and I applaud him for at least being honest in that regard.

@ LadyBug: I detest the character of Sam McCall and even I felt sympathy for her when she and Jason were having it out. Jason treats Sam like an cheating wife when she was raped by his enemy! He's a grade A asshole! I don't hold Sam's past transgressions against her and it doesn't influence the fact I feel little sympathy for her in this story. I feel little sympathy because the story is written to be focused on Jason and his feelings and less so on Sam's POV. Also, in the back of my mind I just don't believe that Sam was actually raped and the baby will be Jason's biological child. I understand that she was horribly violated still, but the story hasn't been written that she is terrorized by by being a rape victim but rather her being totally focused on carrying on with McBain and withholding the truth from Jason. Bottom line: Jason and Sam are incredibly unsympathetic thugs and shouldn't be married, let alone procreate!

Regarding the episode, I enjoyed it but thought the "catfight" was weak as hell! Now, I thought on OLTL, the catfights were EPIC and incredibly well choreographed (remember Natalie versus Marty, Natalie versus Jessica and Aubrey versus Rama was notably fun.) Now, Konnie is vicious enough to bludgeon Ewen but not take Carly in a fight? Come on.

I was also dizzy from watching Liz and Olivia walk around the same corridor. LOL. FFWD all things Sonny/Michael and Johnny/Starr. I find Johnny to be despicable these days and no amount of justification justifies what he did to Kate. Didn't enjoy the look Sam and McBain exchanged at the end of the episode as he was on the phone with Natalie. Sam and McBain have been carrying on a torrid "emotional affair" and I have grown tired of the "coincidences" because it's all so contrived.

I totally agree that Jason is being an insensitive douche...However, I would like to point out that Jason is not so wrong for being unhappy that his wife's sudden, new confidant is a COP and former FEDERAL AGENT, and that he's not a priest who is absolved from revealing any potentially prosecutable information because he's suddenly Sam's BFF. He's had to be the fixer before when Sonny or his women or Spinelli have developed loose lips with the Feds. That said, he should at least be encouraging Sam to talk to her Mother, a doctor, Liz or someone about what's going on...just not some cop she just met!

i have no sympathy for a woman who has used sex a weapon many times, and terrorized a baby and taunted a mother that her baby may be dead even though she knew where that baby was. and no the skank has never paid for any of her bad deeds, unlike liz who has paid for every little thing she has ever done. and no skank does not act like a rape victim. and she was fine with losing or aborting the kid before she ever knew if it was franco's, sort of like when she would threaten to abort sonny's kid. jason has had i think ONE day to process that not only was his skankwife raped byhis stalker, who then turned out to be his twin that he murdered and the kid he though was his is actually a product of rape and his skankwife has been telling all of this to a cop who is actively trying to put his bff in jail even after he asked her to avoid the cop. and sorry jason's friendship and confiding in Liz and sonny is not the same at all, he knows he can trust them, sure he shouldn't have outed skank's rape. maybe he should tell her to get back on the bike like she told emily or hire her a male strooker like she did for the teenage rape victim.

and sorry LIZ has had very close friendships w/women:em,robin,GNO gang,nadine,piph. sure she is not friends w/the shrillskankyharpies that have an irrational hatred of her and that have done horrible things to her or her kids. carly blames her for carly sleeping w/sonny long ago and losing jason, maxie hates her b/c lucky loved her and skank hates her b/c she had jake and she is a nice person, now liz has still been very nice/polite to these skanks and ahs even saved them at times, but i wouldn't want to be friends w/someone who drugged my husband so he would sleep w/them, or watched my baby get snatched and hired guys to terrorize me and my kids, then slept w/my husband to "get back at me" , or someone who has had her children put in danger from her own need to be in the mob but came and said she would get my kids taken from me, even though i actualy take care of my kids and don't use them as pawns to keep guys or money.

stahhh and johnny are both idiots and kannie and the shrew need to be put away and hopefully off the tv for a long time.

Comparing and discussing the way various soap rape stories have been presented or written is absolutely fine, to be clear, but I need to ask that any comments about which woman was better at being a rape victim or who deserved it more/less be taken elsewhere. It's incredibly disturbing, to say the very least.

Otherwise, comment away. Thanks, y'all!

Louise - thank you for making that last comment, I was a little disturbed by some of the earlier comments too.

No person 'deserves' to be raped. It is a horrible, violent act & one that soaps use to often to victimize women.

I'm no Sam McCall fan, but ITA that Jason is being awful to her. This whole storyline just needs to go away. Quickly!

"All I saw was Sam looking to con Jason into making a commitment to raise Franco's child"

In what way was she looking to CON her husband into making a commitment to raising her child?

Thank you, Louise. Well said.

Why do soaps feel they need to do rape stories at all? Originally soaps were supposed to be afternoon entertainment for the women that were home during the day. I don't know a single woman that enjoys watching another woman being violated...I would personally sign a petition to never again show another rape on the soaps.

And thanks Louise for your comment. I hated reading the "ratings" for Best Rape.

Actually, I hadn't thought anything about Sam not flinching when Jason touched her or anything because she really doesn't remember the rape, having been drugged.

It makes sense for Sam to have a different reaction because she wasn't violently raped, she was drugged; that's a whole different set of nightmares and triggers.

If that "No more rape on daytime" petition gets circulated? please send it my way

I agree about too many flashbacks. One day I thought they flashed back to the same scene twice. Then realized I had watched the end of the previous day's show and then the current day's show, and that they aired the same flashback 2 days in a row.

The 3rd screencap of the Carly-Connie fight is priceless. Is Connie's tongue out from being choked? I can't tell, but I like to think it is! A little more camp than we are used to seeing on GH. The funny thing is I feel that Carly is the same thing she accuses Kate of being. Carly turned her back on her adoptive family and used a different identity to get away from her childhood roots. I wouldn't mind someone pointing that out to her.

@boes, those are great lyrics. I'm old enough to remember that song when it first came out. I almost burst out laughing at work (it's OK, it's lunchtime :-) ).

When Carly pushed Connie, I really wondered how old she is. Really? This chick is forever trying to fight somebody. I just wish she'd actually learn to fight. I like a good fight, but this was really nothing to blink at. Now Lauren and Traci fighting on Y&R? GOLD! I'm just glad Connie didn't back down. But I had to laugh at the fact that this fighting was over Johnny. Also, someone needs to let Carly know that Kate didn't talk Jax into anything regarding the MC. She didn't have to. Jax had had enough of the harpy.

Speaking of, enough of his "I'm a bad boy b/c I was born into this" mantra. Nothing is ever Johnny's fault and that's highly annoying. His thirty-something year old ass made a choice. I will always have love for Sonny, but I can readily admit that he's tried my last nerve over the last few years and there are plenty of things I can't stand about him, but one thing I can say is his throughline about joining the mob has always been to have money and power. He made a choice and doesn't make excuses for that. Johnny either needs to own it or STFU, but this wounded little mob prince act is one of the reasons I've never been able to stand him.

Starr makes me so embarrassed for her. Her pulling a gun on Sonny is so eternally lame and, I said this before when OLTL was still on and she was being moved in the Ford orbit, but KA needs to take some acting classes. I think she can act, b/c I've seen her do it, but ever since Starr's pregnancy s/l, I don't know what's happened and she is not impressing me on GH. I thought her interaction with Johnny was good b/c they were subtle scenes, but when she turns on the waterworks and starts yelling, I can't take her seriously. Her best acting has always been when Starr is in stories about her family, but she needs to be able to stand alone now. I know she has it in her.

IA about Olivia needing to be softened. I liked her interaction with Elizabeth and them putting two and two together about Kate. So far, the file clerk at the PCPD has solved the stripper-beater case and Elizabeth and Olivia put feelers out to the cops to investigate Kate/Connie. And Dante...showed Ronnie his hand too soon and is now a suspect. Great police work!

It was not my intent to imply that I condone someone being raped, because I don't. I just thought the story lines surrounding Marty and Liz were well written.

I agree with the poster that stated Sam coldly uses sex as a weapon even when Alexis found her and Jerry in the hot tub.

Come on, O42. Don't you know that rape trauma is one size fits all? Anyone who deviates is obviously doing it wrong and deserves no sympathy!

Louise, I'm not really a Sam fan in general, but when she said that tainted line, my heart broke for her, too. I really enjoyed that she got to call Jason out on his hypocrisy yesterday, and also express frustration with his refusal to acknowledge that this isn't a situation she has the luxury of walking away from or ignoring.

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