Psst. Starr. SHHH.
Starr, come here. No, closer. A little closer. I have something important to tell you. No, just a little bit --
Shhhhhhhhhhhh. SHHHHHHHH. Be quiet.
My lord this girl. I get that she's dealing with unspeakable tragedy and all that, but give us a break, please! People know that death means you'll never see someone again, Starr! Oh and also, Starr, you are not the first person you know to experience something incredibly tragic! In fact, most people you know have experienced something incredibly tragic! Recently, even! It's May now. If memory serves, the accident was in February. Can we ease up on the grief rage? I'm not saying it's unrealistic, I'm just saying it's tedious as hell to watch and try as I might, I've been having a tough time sympathizing with her. And that she's mad at her family now (all except the one family member who encourages her to hold on to her rage and get revenge) because they're trying to get her to continue living and trying to provide comfort to her is... it's not helping. Nothing's helping right now. Silence would help. You know how Patrick's grieving by hotly self-destructing quietly in his home? Try it!
But speaking of the one family member who is encouraging Starr to hold onto her anger and hatred and to go off half-cocked on revenge plans willy-nilly (that's right, I said WILLY NILLY, it's important to be a bad-ass when one is overreacting to a soap opera!), her father was a delight yesterday.
Carly: If you believe the whole split personality, D.I.D. thing --
Todd: Yeah, I do. I know a lot about D.I.D. It runs in my family. [An unfortunate non-hereditary ailment his niece inherited from his sister! --Ed.]
Carly: So instead of red hair and diabetes, the Mannings get D.I.D.
Todd: Well, not all the Mannings. Not me.
Carly: Sure about that?
Todd: Uh, I did pretend to have it once but that was just to get out of trouble.
Todd: Look, my sister -- well, she's a good person, she's a real snob sometimes but she's a really good person and she's big on responsibility and she has D.I.D. and she's the one who says -- and you should listen to this -- there's no excuse for bad behavior. Having an alter doesn't justify you running around pulling a bunch of hideous crap.
(Well, the jury's still out on that one since the D.I.D. contingent of Llanview certainly got away with running around pulling a bunch of hideous crap.)
Even though I don't love all the crammed-in exposition they're having to do with these crossover characters, I will never tire of seeing the reactions of GH characters to OLTL stories, or the reactions of OLTL characters to GH stories. It's making me very, very happy. I do so hope the Llanview gang will soon go into more detail about what the various Llanview alters were up to over the years. It will be criminal if nobody gets to react to the tale of "Wes."
We won't even get into the lunacy of the fact that anyone can call what Maxie is doing "protecting Matt," since before her idiotic confession the Lisa Niles murder was a closed case (so her big martyr-y plan is likely to actually get him exposed more than it is to keep him from prison), or the insanity I'm feeling at actually liking Molly and TJ, or the hilarity of Johnny somehow still thinking the truth about Kate's D.I.D. somehow diminishes rather than enhances his culpability in his sexcapades with her, or how emotionally useless Jason is. I'm sure there will be plenty more episodes that feature all that!