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« A Happy Return and a Good Laugh | Main | Mother Knows Best. Or Worst. Or Something. »

May 10, 2012

The Same and the Samer

Well, I hate to go with just a snarky straight recap again, but until this show moves out of this one never-ending storyline, there's really not much else to say or do. So here we go!

Casa Bridge. Hope wants Steffy to explain why she's awfully smug about Liam. Steffy flashes back to the not-at-all-overdramatic tearing up of the annulment papers. 

Bill is still trying to convince Liam to break up with Hope. Caroline and Katie come in and immediately take off, knowing the menfolk need to have an important discussion. This is no place for ladies!


Katie is listening in as Bill continues to pressure Liam to break off the engagement. Bill thinks that Liam kissing Steffy means he doesn't really want Hope. (But does Liam kissing Hope means he doesn't really want Steffy? No, because this is Bill we're talking about.)

Brooke and Ridge wonder what Hope and Steffy are discussing, and Brooke picks on him for being unwilling to design Hope's wedding dress. Brooke doesn't seem to understand why Ridge would be reluctant to do this, despite his daughter being in love with the groom.

Steffy tells Hope that Liam did something in Aspen that made her sure he still loves her (Steffy, that is. I know. It's confusing.).

Commercials. I am endlessly baffled at ad demographics. Why do we get so many ads in New York City for yard items, car-related products, outdoor barbecue fixings and the like? I guess for all the rich New Yorkers with country homes?

Back at Liam's house, Bill is still laying it on thick and Liam (as per usual) does nothing to shut him up. I am reminded of the time Bill was being obnoxious about something and Liam said, "See? This is why I never tell you anything!" and I wondered what planet he was living because on Planet Earth, you see, what Liam does would be considered telling Bill absolutely everything, all the time, always. 


Katie comes out to announce that dinner is ready. I am so ashamed at my lack of appropriately fitting into proper gender roles when I think about how, at my house, this would all be reversed. The ladies would be chatting while the dudes were cooking and then I'd happily take care of dishes and trash afterwards. (Kick me out of the gender, I dare you!)

All these dinners and wine make me hungry. And thirsty.

Hilariously, Caroline and Katie have whipped up this tremendous feast based on what was in Liam's cupboards, which he claimed were virtually empty. So empty that there was fresh French bread, and plenty of fresh veggies for a huge salad. 

Katie toasts to getting to know Caroline and to the upcoming wedding.

Back to Casa Bridge.


Hope (to Steffy): I know you, and I know that if something had happened in Aspen, you'd be rubbing my face in it right now. Just thank him for the memories and move on with your life!

Steffy (smugly): Thank him for the memories, huh? You know what, Hope? That's exactly what I did. [Because the show couldn't dare make us forget about the horrifying episode in which not only did Liam say, "Cha cha cha!" through actual tears as if this were to be taken seriously, but the two of them also sang a Bob Hope song to each other, making it completely impossible for the viewing public to not be totally icked out that these weird late-teens and early-twenties characters are bizarrely obsessed with getting married as quickly and as young as humanly possible, because apparently they are not young in that they are really one-million-year-old souls, and they can't just do something like, you know, DATE.  --Ed.]

Anyway, Steffy tells Hope that Liam is impressed by the change in her and her willingness to own up to her past mistakes and questions if Hope has done the same, and Hope insists that she has. And then Hope says something rude about how the divorce-instead-of-annulment is just a personal favor to Steffy to give her comfort that she was once a Spencer (because that's such a freakin' prize, amirite, ladies???). Steffy leaves the house.


Dinner at Liam's is wrapping up and Katie and Caroline start to head out. Bill advises Liam to call Steffy so he doesn't have to be alone tonight. 

Casa Bridge. Brooke and Hope analyze Steffy's subtext (because it's so subtle!) and Ridge tells Hope he likes that it seems like she and Steffy are making some sort of progress. Hope tells Ridge he's holding out for Steffy and that he's wrong, while he insists he just doesn't want to see her hurt and disappointed. Hope blathers on about the Italian wedding and Ridge looks concerned.

Back at Liam's house, he alternates between looking at photos of Hope and Steffy on his smartphone, just in case we were confused about the theme of this five-days-a-week television series. Like maybe we thought for a second that it might be a soap opera with a big cast and lots of stories, so just to clarify, they reminded us via his smartphone that, no, it's just the one. It's just this story, it's just these three characters and the people who obsess about them. So don't get cocky there, viewers! Anyway, Steffy shows up at the front door.


She tells him she had dinner with Hope and knows that Hope moved out, and that it was clear Liam didn't tell her about the annulment paper situation, which Steffy says is totally fine and is their "little secret" which Liam thinks is very cool of her. (Steffy keeping things from him was grounds for separation, and Hope keeping things from him was relationship-endangering and made him question the relationship, but when Liam keeps things from his women? Totally fine, y'all! He's a Spencer! Women are all on a need-to-know basis only.) Liam invites her in, but she says she won't set foot in that house until it means she's actually coming home.


Hope flashes back to Liam telling her he still loves her and is still committed to her. Brooke joins her by the fire with cake (as if those two women routinely eat dessert). Hope says she's sure Steffy is going to see Liam, but she won't let it stress her out. They're trying to figure out what cause Steffy's newfound calmness, and Hope says she's glad Steffy never agreed to an annulment because it means when the divorce finally goes through Steffy will "get" it. So, of course none of this will actually play out.

Back at Liam's, he is disappointed that Steffy's not there to seduce him. Because it's rough on his ego not to have two women on the hook, but thankfully Steffy continues to make it clear that they'll reunite, so he totally still has two women after him. So he's all good. She tells him that his tearing up the annulment papers was the single most romantic moment of her life, and actually says in all sincerity, "Oh yeah, baby, you rocked my world." And she promises him she'll never tell Hope about his ripping up the papers and making out with her. Then they kiss and, sure enough...

"Cha cha cha!"

And then she walks way, while Liam watches her with this look on his face:


Just in case we didn't get the point that this guy is a waffling douchenozzle who should really stop getting engaged and start playing the field and grow the hell up.


I think the writers have really succeeded in creating the ultimate worst-case scenario in triangling (if we can make that a verb). Gold in soap triangles is when you manage to pull off that viewers care about all three participants and don't know whom to root for to "win" the one who is in the middle. In this case, I think they've managed to create a triangle in which it's impossible to care one whit about any of them and you heartily wish that they'd all end up alone. Congratulations, B&B writers. Way to go! THERE's an accomplishment to be proud of, for sure!

I've varied as to which one of them irritates me the most, but right now I'm sickest of Liam. Your name for him, Louise, is frankly too nice (but maybe it's the worst thing you can think of to call him for public consumption; I know that the things that cross my mind to call him, I would not dare post). I don't really like Hope or Steffy very much, but his treatment of both is nevertheless nothing short of appalling. Which is really awful in particular because Scott Clifton is such a good actor and I do want to like Liam, but--uh, no.

And this is the storyline (and these are the three characters) that TPTB think are the future of this show. Mercy.

Oh my Lord - why do I do it to myself? Here we are only up to the Chocolate Fight, my goodness thank God I record it because my children were shrieking "go back go back" and we watched it over a few times killing ourselves laughing. How lucky the invisible Thorne had that chocolate feast delivered, couldn't see that one coming at all.......
Who is Caroline? Is that Dollar Bill's sister? I'm half hoping it's Ridges first wife back from the dead - well it's happened before, thank you Taylor. I'm thinking coming back from the dead does terrible things for your face - they must have plastic surgeons from hell there.
We are indeed in soap opera triangle hell, is there anyone out there who gives a rat's pajamas about any of them????? Bueller..Bueller...

Caroline is Karen's daughter, Bill's niece. Karen and Bill are Caroline's (Rapist's first wife) siblings. Guess Karen named her daughter after her late sister.

What i dont get is why oh why Brooke insists on trusting Rapist. He couldnt care less about Hope, of course he looks out for his tramp daughter. He (and his frankenstein of an exwife) was so quick to tell Hope to back off and let Slutty be happy (!) claiming Hope had her chance but i dont see him doing the same thing. Notice a pattern Brooke???

I have to admit- I'm rooting for Hope to pull a Kelly Taylor and kick Liam to the curb and choose herself. I always rooted for Brooke to do the same thing with Ridge so I guess I help perpetuate this second generation recap.

I keep wondering if Scott Clifton(Liam) gets any grief strolling about L.A. by viewers who hate his character as much I've come to. If any character deserved to end up alone in this sl, it certainly is the DoucheLord of L.A. Really, what has he got to offer any woman other than his daddy's money and media empire? He's become scum.

Call me shallow, but the ONLY reason I've watched this week was to see Mope and her inappropriate tramp of a mother spontaneously combust when they found out: 1. Liam signed the papers...yay! and 2. He ripped them up....WTF!?! NOW they make Steffy mature and reasonable. Damn it!

Remember when soap triangles were epic ala Sonny/Jax/Brenda? I know I am referencing a different time when soaps weren't dead, MB wasn't phoning in his performance, and Jax and Brenda were actually well written actors on the show, but.......it can be done. Since GH hasn't been good since, well, about 1999 I don't know why I am bringing this up, but B&B used to have decent triangles as well like Brooke/Ridge/Taylor before one became unrecognizable and Ridge waffled back and forth for about 25 yrs, but I am positive all three actors in this scenario (especially Scott Clifton) could make this triangle actually interesting if he had good writing and B&B didn't fashion their women after 50's housewives.

God, Louise, this show keeps getting worse and worse. Liam and his smartphone...such FAIL! Cha cha cha *eye roll* Who is the idiot writer who wrote this line???!!?!?!

The demographics for online ads are always weird, imo.

Also, remember that pill that can help you skip periods over and over again. Apparently it's not just the pill that can do that. http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/ask-dr-cullins/dr-cullins-birth-control-5417.htm

Ziyal the various birth control pills should really be thanking B&B for being such a great advertisement for them! It's so funny that Bill's sexist theories have created such curiosity in the most roundabout way...

^^^ Lol. TRU DAT!

Lisa, I think BOTH Hope and Steffy should go the Kelly route and choose themselves. I might start caring about either or both of them if they did. I do not understand at this point what either one of them sees in Liam. But then, this is the same show that has brought us a quarter-century of Brooke-Ridge-Taylor, another totally inexplicable threesome.

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