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« The Lame & the Copout | Main | SPOILER, Alexis: It Gets So, So Much Worse »

June 07, 2012

Maxie Read a WHOLE BOOK, Y'all!

No really, Matt should be endlessly impressed with her because, as he explained, she read an entire legal textbook. At least up until the point where she learned about marital privilege.

Oh yeah, let's not forget that she WENT TO PRISON FOR MATT. I mean, sure, the case was closed and a dead woman was down as the killer and Matt was at no risk of being charged or imprisoned. But Maxie went and got the case re-opened and ultimately was responsible with his name being associated with it... FOR HIM. She's a freakin' saint, y'all. (Oh and that fun bit where in order to "protect" Matt, she made a deal with a mobster and got an innocent woman killed. I'm going to start calling her Maxie Gandhi.)

Upside? She's still in low-key prison makeup!

Minimalmakeupmaxie

Yay! Jen Lilley looks so much prettier this way than in the pre-prison three-inch-thick situation.

You know, like someone else we know:

Krazymakeupkonnie

(And I can't even get into those scenes because I just can't with Starr these days. In any way.)

 Alas, Matt flashed back and miraculously remembered killing Lisa.

Drunkmatt

Which makes me sad because I loved Drunk "We're on a BOAT!" Matt. He was my very favorite Matt. And apparently he now recalls that killing Lisa was not in self-defense. Which MartyrMaxie knew all along. No mention of the probability that he killed her in defense of others. She was a fugitive trying to kill people on that boat but, no, apparently drunkenness just causes some perfectly nice people to randomly go around murdering for fun. Gosh I love this storyline.

To make matters worse, Spinelli spent the episode throwing himself a one-man pity party. Because really, he's been so wronged here. He "selflessly" helped a stupid woman who put herself in prison out of guilt for something totally unrelated, and now she's been released and even though he broke up with her ages ago and she most certainly did not say anything to him to give him hope of a reunion, he has been HORRIBLY WRONGED by the fact that she did not run out of the prison gates and right into his arms. And the fact that he expected a romantic reunion in exchange for his "favors" doesn't make his favors any less selfless, right? Oh wait. But all he cares about is her happiness, and therefore he is insulted that she might find said happiness elsewhere!

Sosadforselfspin

And according to Spinelli, who is on mob payroll and besties with a hitman, Matt is "despicable." Spinelli, who helped plan the murder of a police officer who happened to be the boyfriend of one of his closest friends. Well done to pass judgment on the doctor who drunkenly killed a crazy lady on a murderous rampage.

Feliciamacspinelli

And Felicia and Mac totally enabled his nonsense, as most people on this show generally do. This was, of course, after Felicia and Mac had a little almost-kiss moment. Hey, you know how the whole "we explained Kristina Wagner's departure from the show by retconning her into the worst mother in history who abandoned her children and never looked back so that she could pursue romance and adventure with Frisco" thing? Have they even bothered to tell us that Frisco and Felicia are apparently not together? Because really, way to ruin my only happy place with that little adjustment! I need to believe that Frisco and Felicia are together off-screen somewhere! Can't they have Felicia explain this one way or the other, while absurdly over-pronouncing each word of the dialogue? Come on now!

Divider

I'm really going to need Sam to stand by her conviction that the dead baby isn't hers (I loved all the, "No, this couldn't be my baby, my baby was beautiful!" implying that Téa's baby had a face only a mother could love.) because I can't deal with too much of the sad.

Sadsamandjason

I just want her to be on the hunt and doing some sleuthing rather than grieving. If for no other reason but Kelly Monaco's sanity.

So only a few hours have passed and Todd now knows that the mother wasn't trying to abandon her baby and is in fact devastated -- how about instead of just showing him with the mild sads about it and trying to jet out of town, they show us that there's some small chance he actually might do the right thing? Can we get that Todd back? You know, the one who always did the wrong thing but did occasionally try to fix it by doing the right (and difficult) thing? All they've let Todd do since we got him back last year is one terrible thing after the other and then try to cover it up. Any chance of showing viewers new to Todd that he's not just a self-hating, out-and-out villain?

And seriously, after the way Jason's been treating her Sam was still going to name her son after him?! Great. This means once they finally find out and get her kid back, we'll have yet another anointed Jason on the canvas. Please please please let her hate that jackass forever when she finds out it was his fault John couldn't drive her to the hospital? And then she can retract the name? And also, world peace? Thanks.

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