The Pretty & the Olive
Well, we certainly know there will be pretty things to look at over the next few episodes of The Bold & the Beautiful.
Oooh, pretty architecture!
And I'm certainly envious of the actors and crew for getting to go on this little adventure. (We've only seen Sean Kanan [Deacon] in interior shots so far, but I'm assuming he'll be in some of the on-location scenes, so not a half-bad deal for him -- even though his return stint was far too brief, he got to do part of it in Italy!) (I'd say the same thing about the actress who plays Alison -- if she did in fact go on location -- but then I remembered that chick is some sort of Greek princess, so she's probably all set in the access-to-exotic-travels department.)
However, this Italy trip is just serving to prolong the endless Hope/Liam/Steffy triangle (yesterday they used up practically a whole segment to just show some entire scene on the beach that Steffy flashed back to, as if we hadn't seen enough of those exact images in the seventeen montages they show every week of each pairing set to treacly music). Worse still? When they're not doing scenes directly related to the Triangle from Hell? This is what we get:
Brooke: You know they have an olive press here? They make their own olive oil.
Ridge: Now you're getting warmer.
Brooke: Right, because I said that magic word.
Ridge: Olives. Olives. Olives.
Brooke: Okay. Where did you get this crazy obsession?
Brooke: Well, fetish. Whatever. I don't know.
Ridge: Fetish? Obsession? Fetish? Call it a passion.
Brooke: For olives?
Ridge:Mm-hmm. Among other things.
Brooke: I know about those other things.
Ridge: Yes, you do. Olive is my favorite fruit. My people think they're a vegetable, you know?
Brooke: Oh, but you don't, my sweetheart.
Ridge: I know.
Brooke: Because you've been studying up on those little buggers.
Ridge: That's right. But I'm not looking for any old olive, no small olives, only big, big olives. I'm looking for a big olive. That, Logan, is our mission.
Brooke: Big olive.
Brooke: A giant olive.
Ridge: Exactly. Big old olive.
Brooke: Big old giant olive.
Ridge: Big old, yeah.
Which is, apparently, quite the turn-on.
So uh... what the ever-loving fuck was that? And y'all, I did not make up a word of that. I did not take words out of it to make it sound weirder. That was the dialogue. Verbatim.
And it didn't end there.
Ridge: Did you know there are 50 to 60 million olive trees here?
Brooke: What? Really? Let me see.
Brooke: That is a lot of searching for a giant olive.
Ridge: 50 million olive trees. We better get going.
Ridge: We can start with all the ones on the grounds here. You know some of them are hundreds of years old?
Brooke: And I know exactly what you're gonna do with that giant olive when you find it.
Ridge: What am I gonna make?
Brooke: What are you gonna make?
Ridge: What am I gonna make?
Brooke: I think you're gonna just take that giant olive and plop it into a giant... martini.
Brooke: Just like you said.
Ridge: You'll be my giant martini.
Uh, is Samuel Beckett now a script writer for B&B from beyond the grave? Because what the hell?