Gasp! Choke! Wheeze! Wail!
As I watched Kelly Sullivan nearly asphyxiate today as she gasped and wheezed and shrieked while Kate pieced together the clues that seem to indicate that Trey is the child she abandoned in a drawer, I scoffed to no one in particular and said, "Right, because that's how people respond to news. With a series of increasingly melodramatic and oxygen deprived sounds. Right".
Kate: How old are you?
Kate: GASP! WAIL! GASP! CHOKE! ASTHMA ATTACK! PRIMAL SCREAM!
And then I realized that I had those exact responses to today's General Hospital and today's General Hospital related news, so either I am a melodramatic mess or perhaps I ought to give Kelly Sullivan a little more credit for a performance that turned out to actually be highly realistic and nuanced.
(Of course at the very second I typed the above sentence, my rewatch of today's show aired the exact moment that Kate-Now-Connie screamed at Trey, "Do I have to spell it out for you? I WANTED TO AB. ORT. YOU!" So, uh, never mind. It's just me being a mess.)
I mean, WHAT?! This was most certainly not the General Hospital news item I expected to read today and I am more than a little flabbergasted. I am excited and perplexed and now I want to spend the rest of the night watching classic AJ Quartermaine clips on YouTube and have a debate with myself over who the best AJ is, Sean Kanan or Billy Warlock and I am not doing anything to make myself appear sane, am I? Do we think he's an undead AJ? Or a Jason recast? Or, in the grand tradition of soap ridiculosity last seen with the poorly written and underdeveloped clusterfuck that was Sarah Brown's stint as Claudia, will he be some random mob-related character with an ever-changing backstory and an instant connection to Sonny?
CHOKE! Jason was actually kind of amazing today.
Up is down and left is right and I'm feeling sort of uncomfortable with this new world I'm living in. It's possible that I am suffering from pre-nostalgia and will spend the entirety of Steve Burton's farewell tour looking on a bright side that isn't there, but...it was there, wasn't it? It was there in a nicely written, beautifully acted scene that saw Jason let Elizabeth down gently and show some real, raw emotion.
Jason: My life hasn't changed. It's still violent. It's nothing you and your kids should ever be around.
Jason: We both wanted to keep him safe. To go back on that now, to expose you and the kids to that violence, that makes it all for nothing. I was Never a father to Jake. I was never anything to him. But I can honor him by protecting his mother and his brothers.
Elizabeth: Protecting us from you?
Jason, adamantly: Yes.
I loved these scenes more than a little bit, once I moved past the profound secondhand embarrassment I felt for Elizabeth. But overall, it was well done all around.
WHEEZE! Todd is hilarious.
Tea: So you don't want to hear who I hired as a nanny?
Todd: Mrs. Doubtfire?
Tea: Someone you know.
Todd: Fran Drescher.
If there was an app that just featured Roger Howarth telling corny jokes, it would make a fortune.
Last week's stunning scenes are made all the more emotional now. John Ingle was the only Edward I've ever known and I loved him to pieces. Edward featured heavily in so many of my favorite 90s era GH storylines (and Ingle made cameo appearances on two of my favorite shows, The Office and The Golden Girls, which always makes me happy when I see those episodes in reruns) that I will always have wonderful memories of Ingle being all kinds of cantankerous and wonderful and...sniffle.