Because They Want Us To Have The Turkey Day Sads
(Or the Tofurky Day sads, in my case.)
Warnings have come for all the feelings I'll be having during today's General Hospital, so I decided to recap as I watch it so that I'm basically watching it with Serial Drama readers. So I'm not alone. Right? YOU GUYS ARE WITH ME HERE, RIGHT?
Here we go.
The DVR did not catch the first bit, but it looks as though Patrick got a call from Monica about Edward's health. Robert Scorpio (!) shows up at the door, and Patrick looks displeased. As one would when one's father-in-law skipped one's wife's funeral. (At some point, I might stop using Robert Scorpio's first and last name and might ease up on the exclamation points, but let's not hold our collective breath yet.)
McBain visits Sam.
Starr is crashing at Michael's apartment for now, and she is doing so on the couch. Good lord. I mean more power to 'em if they don't feel ready for sex yet, but they can't even sleep in the same bed? And Michael explains that he's a mental mess right now as some sort of justification for why he's not ready for sex, making him the first young man on the planet who ever decided he should not have sex because he's upset about something.
Carly and Connie bicker, and AJ shows up at the Q mansion just as Tracy and Monica are also bickering.
I should eat. That's a lot of multitasking, but I just wanted to throw out that disclaimer just in case some Smart Ones Macaroni and Cheese gets on the blog post. Just wipe it off with a cloth, it'll clear right up, don't worry. (I hope my dinner description erased any illusions of my luxurious Manhattan lifestyle!)
McBain is trying to prevent Sam from driving herself nuts in the whole search for Jason.
Connie and Carly and Todd are... nothing, really. It's dull.
Sonny is filling Alexis in on AJ's release from jail, just as AJ gloats to Tracy about his release. Sonny complains to Shawn and Alexis about Michael defending AJ.
Michael explains to Starr that AJ is worse than his parents (with no mention of how AJ wasn't off doing maniacal shit like kidnapping kids till Carly and Sonny spent years taunting him about how he could have no access to his son, which might drive someone a tad nuts) (also no mention of the lots of human blood off of which his adoptive father lives), and Starr counsels him. Like she does.
Robert is going to explain to Patrick why he missed Robin's funeral, but first there are commercials! After which Robert fills Patrick in about Luke's Ethan lie and that he'd needed an excuse to run away because he couldn't face Robin's death.
McBain tries to offer support to Sam, but she tells him she doesn't need him to stand in for Jason (after correcting him in an inexplicably offended tone when John calls the baby "Daniel" instead of "Danny").
Sonny complains that Johnny, Connie, and AJ get to "work the system to their advantage" and he has to sit back and do nothing. Kind of, you know, like everyone has to do every time he works the system to his advantage which is daily.
Carly and Todd... no, it's dull.
Michael fills Starr in on more of his illustrious family history, and is sure Carly and Sonny and AJ can never accept each other.
Monica and Tracy bicker about Edward, who has apparently requested not to be taken to the hospital. Tracy yells at AJ to try to block him from seeing Edward. Tracy is being awful, and it's just overkill right now.
Sonny shares his sob story with Shawn, because apparently he no longer wants him dead? I have no idea.
Todd tells Carly that he killed Victor, Jr., when VJ was threatening his relationship with his kids the way AJ is to Carly. Carly thinks maybe she should do the same. "Worked for you," she says. Really, Carls? Have you met Jack Manning yet? I didn't think so.
Sam gets really nasty at John and tells him to leave her family alone. I know she's upset right now, but damn, girl! Way harsh! She kicks him out and then gets a phone call from AJ.
Tracy talks to an unconscious Edward (aka obviously a body double we can't really see). She is trying to reassure Edward that everything's good with the company and the family and she just breaks completely.
Patrick and Robert have a nice little chat and mend fences. Then they hug and OH! Yep, there's my first tear of episode.
Alexis and John run into each other and talk about Sam and how worried they are.
Sonny and Shawn continue their own little out-of-nowhere heart-to-heart and Sonny appears to be offering him Jason's job. I mean who wouldn't want Jason's job! Everything went super for him!
Carly and Todd talk and... still dull.
Michael, Starr, Sam, and Danny arrive for Edward's health crisis. Michael wants AJ to go see Edward, but AJ tells him he should go alone and pass on his love. Monica goes in to Edward's room and sees Tracy crying over Edward and is moved and, shit, okay here are the second tears of the day for me.
Tracy breaks again, begs her father not to go, and Monica goes over and holds her.
Carly and Connie and Todd all yell a little bit and it's about as interesting as that description was specific.
Sonny tries to appeal to Shawn's sense of adventure. So what could possibly go wrong?
Sam and Michael bring little Danny in to see Edward. Tracy rushes out, too upset to stay. Michael tells Edward how much he cared about him and how much he appreciated being made to feel a part of the family. He thanks him for everything and kisses him goodbye and tells him he loves him and will never forget him.
What is happening, y'all? How is horrible Michael Corinthos making me cry??!!
Alexis and John chat about his custody case a bit.
Sam brings Danny over to Edward and introduces his great grandson, telling Edward that Jason is the biological father and that "love won out." Monica is standing in the doorway, receiving this news for the very first time and there's a great little shot of Monica just beaming with joy and relief in the background.
Sam tells Edward she's going to raise this family and make him proud. And then Danny reaches out his tiny little hand and holds on to Edward's finger.
So manipulative! AND SO EFFECTIVE.
Okay, I need a second here.
Starr and AJ are sitting awkwardly together in the drawing room (drawing room? we still say that when we're talkin' actual mansions, right?). Starr asks AJ what he'd say to Edward if he had the chance. He tells her he would apologize for his drinking, his greed, his jealousy of Jason, and for his cowardice. He wishes he could have stood up to him the way Jason or Ned could. If he had one last moment with him, he'd ask his grandfather to look at him, "I mean really look at me, because I think you'd like what you see." AJ feels like he finally changed the way Edward always wanted him to, but is sad that Edward won't ever know.
Tracy has overheard all of this and goes in to tell AJ to hurry and to go see Edward.
Then there's some Connie/Carly catfighting and it's still boring. Connie gets on an elevator with Shawn, who is grinning because he's up to something for Sonny. He send Sonny a "bird's in the cage" text. Ohhhh... kay.
Monica thanks Sam for bringing Danny and she and Sam share their happiness in the paternity news. Michael and Sam then leave Monica alone with Edward.
McBain tells Alexis that Clint is threatening Bo to force McBain out of the Llanview Police Department. Alexis hopes John gets a gig in Port Charles because Sam needs him, whether she knows it or not (and it'll be hot!).
Michael thanks Tracy for letting AJ see Edward. Upon hearing of Edward reaching out his hand to little Danny, Tracy is sure that Edward's got life left in him. AJ arrives to talk to Edward but it's too late. Monica tells him that Edward is gone.
Then Monica goes downstairs and tells Tracy.
Then AJ sits down with Edward and just loses it.
Monica tells everyone that Edward did speak at the very end, and it was just one word, clear as a bell.
Um, y'all, I have to go because I am bawling like a baby. But excellent, excellent work today from all of the actors and the director and writers Kate Hall and Jean Passanante.
And of course, rest in peace, John Ingle. I hope he and Anna Lee have gotten to exchange a group hug somewhere up there, right along with David Lewis.