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« At Least There Are Some Silver Linings... | Main | The Idiotic & the Forgiving »

January 15, 2013

Interview With A Vampire King

Full disclosure, y'all. I did not watch Port Charles. It is the one blip in my ABC daytime soap viewing history. I mean I've got The City, Ryan's Hope, Loving, all of 'em. I did watch the very first episode of Port Charles with some friends over a great deal of what was probably tequila and we had good laughs at Audrey's impromptu brain surgery or whatever it was, but I did not have time in my schedule to take on another soap at the time. I was tempted by Lucy Coe, but it just never happened. I sort of vaguely knew about the evolution of the show into conceptual story arcs and I definitely knew that Caleb and Livvie were a hot item, but I don't have the full story.

And I'll admit, when I heard about this upcoming callback to the vampire story, I was less than excited. I'm always on the side of minor stunts or character "gets" that might add some viewers' eyes to the show so that it continues its uptick in ratings, but are there really that many Port Charles viewers who don't already watch General Hospital? And those who don't, would they really be lured back with this sort of thing? Not to mention that this is not like jumping Todd, Starr, and John over from One Life to Live. Because those are now GH characters. They are who they were on OLTL (well, the Todd part has been hotly debated, but you know what I mean). But didn't PC basically happen in some alternate universe? My feeling was always that PC events didn't really happen in GH's Port Charles unless it was occasionally convenient. You'd think someone on GH might have mentioned a vampire takeover in the town. Moreover, Kelly Monaco is not playing Livvie and Michael Easton is not playing Caleb. It's one thing to throw out a few winks at the audience like when Sam and John first met. But it's another to actually turn it into a story arc.

But then I heard this:

Lucy: I am just as impervious to you as I was the day you arrived in Port Charles with that stupid band of yours, thinking you could hypnotize everybody with the glamour. Well, you can't glamour me.


Look, I don't know what the everloving fuck she's talking about, but that is hilarious. HYPNOTIZE EVERYBODY WITH THE GLAMOUR?! He had a band? You mean like a band of marauders or something or a rock band? Either way I am REALLY EXCITED and I need to look this up.

Then later there was this gem:

Lucy: He's turning the police department into his own personal coven!

The PCPD, a coven! I'm enjoying the image. Plus, after Lucy stabbed John with a stake (!), she kept screaming that's he supposed to "combust." I am seriously going to have to hit up YouTube for some of this madness. Combust? I want to see a vampire combust on a daytime soap special effects budget, like, yesterday.

And I imagine for any of us who spent years fuming at John McBain on OLTL for how he treated the women he allegedly loved, this was a pretty fun image...


That said, it's fine with me if they just wrap this little homage up ASAP. Lynn Herring is just awesome and was hysterical in her scenes today, which is always fun to watch, but here's hoping this mini-storyline is super-duper mini (like Lucy's hot dress today).


As for Todd, I just don't care about a Todd who doesn't put Starr above everything else, and he pretty much hasn't done that since the second he found out that Johnny killed Hope and Cole and kept it from her. So I try, I really do. I try to watch for Roger Howarth's charm and the character's excellent snarky one-liners and amusing reactions to the population of Port Charles. I try. But today I was honestly just bored by him. However I must confess that wee tiny Sam trying to overtake Todd physically to keep him from escaping?




I'm a little bit adoring seeing Sonny get a taste of his own medicine. His love interest is a moody piece of work who verbally abuses him at every turn and is an emotional basketcase. Sound familiar? I hope Connie starts hurling barware across the room soon. Karma's a bitch, Corinthos!

And finally (speaking of karma), how hot were A.J. and Carly? What's that all about?


When's the hate sex coming, please? And can he keep calling her out on her hypocrisy and how she brought all this on herself, and running through a litany of her past sins? Because I keep thinking I'm just watching some fantasy sequence and then I realize it's really happening on this show.


And Laura Wright now has an adorable new haircut (huh, what messed-up paramour of Todd Manning's have we seen do that before in a fit of heartbreak and self-loathing? GOSH I CAN'T THINK OF ONE) and got to give part of it to herself on air in the episode that may well be her Emmy reel for this year. Oh, there are so many chickens coming home to roost right now, it's far too fun.


A.J.: Dammit, Carly, I swear only you could take the joy out of a revenge rant.

Well said, sir!


I think that all of Port Charles (the show, not the town) was just one giant hallucination brought on by a brain tumor or something but Lucy has no idea. I can't think of a better explanation for this storyline. It doesn't help that I've been watching old episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer on Netflix, so every time Lucy says something like "I have to stop him! I am the slayer!" I start yelling things like "No! Buffy is the slayer! Who do you think you are????" It's really dividing my loyalties to TV shows.... oh God, I really need a life.

I still can't get over AJ throwing Carly over his shoulder an carrying her out of the bar. "Put me down, AJ." AJ has been my favorite character on the show since I started watching in '99, so I'm conflicted on his possible relationship with Carly.

He hasn't had a serious girlfriend/wife since Courntey in '02. He had fling with Lydia Karenin in '03, and he and Faith Roscoe might have been more than business partners when they kidnapped Michael and Kristina in '05. He still desperately needs a woman to keep him preoccupied.

As Mallory put it in a previous post, Carly is beast, but a pretty face can cover for a multitude of sins. It's like Carly knows she's so good looking that she can get away with doing or saying anything.

I don't think Patrick has the worse s/l on the show and there is no way in hell that Robin being on the show but not really on the show would be better for JT or fans. I like knowing that Robin is out there and not knowing when or how she'll come back. It makes me happy knowing that one day she will come back and reunite with Patrick but in the meantime, let Patrick Drake live his life.

I was not a PC viewer and I don't mind the vampire references, but I hope they don't drag it out too long.

An A.J./Carly love/hate relationship could be interesting, but a straight up love pairing wouldn't work for me because I tend to loath all of Carly's pairings and I am enjoying AJ's return too much to have it ruined by him becoming yet another Carly boytoy droid.

Not a big fan of the sonny/kat/connie thing, but it is nice to see sonny in a relationship where it isn't all about him and his psychosis.

I was going to say "Wow, that really IS an awful haircut" but then I realized that was Alex Trebek. The funny thing is, the last time LW did a big-deal haircut was on GL, where it was basically "I am cutting off my pretty princess hair and getting a bob in the tradition of liberated women, which will mean I can have super hot sex with the prince's evil half brother in a linen closet."

And speaking of super hot sex, go Dorian. Holy shit.

And I forgot to mention...Todd and AJ need to become BFFs and do lots of activities together like saunas, shirtless volleyball, fixing the showers in the metrocourt and ending up soaking wet...I know this is completely implausible but I don't really care. I would love to see Todd and AJ comparing their misdeeds though. "I shot my father and brother." "I KILLED my mother and brother!" "Damn, dude, you win."

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