Full disclosure, y'all. I did not watch Port Charles. It is the one blip in my ABC daytime soap viewing history. I mean I've got The City, Ryan's Hope, Loving, all of 'em. I did watch the very first episode of Port Charles with some friends over a great deal of what was probably tequila and we had good laughs at Audrey's impromptu brain surgery or whatever it was, but I did not have time in my schedule to take on another soap at the time. I was tempted by Lucy Coe, but it just never happened. I sort of vaguely knew about the evolution of the show into conceptual story arcs and I definitely knew that Caleb and Livvie were a hot item, but I don't have the full story.
And I'll admit, when I heard about this upcoming callback to the vampire story, I was less than excited. I'm always on the side of minor stunts or character "gets" that might add some viewers' eyes to the show so that it continues its uptick in ratings, but are there really that many Port Charles viewers who don't already watch General Hospital? And those who don't, would they really be lured back with this sort of thing? Not to mention that this is not like jumping Todd, Starr, and John over from One Life to Live. Because those are now GH characters. They are who they were on OLTL (well, the Todd part has been hotly debated, but you know what I mean). But didn't PC basically happen in some alternate universe? My feeling was always that PC events didn't really happen in GH's Port Charles unless it was occasionally convenient. You'd think someone on GH might have mentioned a vampire takeover in the town. Moreover, Kelly Monaco is not playing Livvie and Michael Easton is not playing Caleb. It's one thing to throw out a few winks at the audience like when Sam and John first met. But it's another to actually turn it into a story arc.
But then I heard this:
Lucy: I am just as impervious to you as I was the day you arrived in Port Charles with that stupid band of yours, thinking you could hypnotize everybody with the glamour. Well, you can't glamour me.
Look, I don't know what the everloving fuck she's talking about, but that is hilarious. HYPNOTIZE EVERYBODY WITH THE GLAMOUR?! He had a band? You mean like a band of marauders or something or a rock band? Either way I am REALLY EXCITED and I need to look this up.
Then later there was this gem:
Lucy: He's turning the police department into his own personal coven!
The PCPD, a coven! I'm enjoying the image. Plus, after Lucy stabbed John with a stake (!), she kept screaming that's he supposed to "combust." I am seriously going to have to hit up YouTube for some of this madness. Combust? I want to see a vampire combust on a daytime soap special effects budget, like, yesterday.