Living In Carly's World
Wow. I've always known I was pretty jealous of Carly and in general anyone like her who is so into their own awesomeness and point-of-view that dumb little things like paying attention to things that other people say or do, or basic human empathy, or brutally honest personal feedback, etc., do not in any way pierce the self-involved un-self-aware bubble that they live in. Wouldn't that be an easier way to live? To just always think your perspective is the right one and that you are wonderful and never, ever be able to experience anything that contradicts that because you are simply not listening?
Yesterday's discussion with Starr really brought Carly to new levels of tone-deaf and self-absorbed and hilarious. Shall we re-visit? (And much of this is actually what was said, and I think you'll agree that with the rest I've at least captured the essence of what was said.) When Starr asked if Carly gave any serious consideration to Todd's "let's run away together" option...
Carly: Do I wish I would have uprooted my life to run away with your father? To never see or talk to Michael or Morgan again? For them to never see their little sister? To throw my business into complete chaos, to duck and cover and in and out from dirty old motel rooms for the rest of my life? Ha!
[Hahahahaha, so true, Carly! Abandoning your two sons and forcing your toddler daughter to live life on the run before her life has even begun all for a guy you boinked one time is HILARIOUS!! I can see
how it was tempting! --Ed]
Starr: You really gave that a lot of thought.
Carly: Oh, yeah, I pondered. I have. I never really considered it. I mean, as much as I care about your dad, and I really care about your dad, what the hell am I supposed to do?
Starr: You did the only reasonable thing that you could do, but a lot of people do unreasonable things for the right reason.
Carly: Oh, not me! I don't know if you know this or talked to people, but I never do unreasonable things.
Starr: (laughing) I don't blame you for walking away. My mom had to do the same thing. She couldn't deal with all the things that my dad had done.
Carly: It's different with me, though. Todd's no angel, but neither am I.
Starr: Oh, neither is my mom. Actually, you two should spend more time together.
Carly: I just mean with, uh-- with me and your dad, you know, we've both done some horrible things, and we've hurt a lot of people, and we both have been outcasts. In a way, we still are, and... we git that about each other.
Starr: Right, but that was pretty much what defined my mom and dad's relationship, having done horrible things and being outcasts.
Carly: Did you say something?
Starr: My mom and dad basically bonded over a competition about which one of them was worse and more pathetic.
Carly: Todd and I are a unique match because we've bonded over our terrible and pathetic misdeeds.
Starr: Right, kinda like my mom and --
Carly: Was I asking about your mom? She doesn't know Todd like I do. He and I are like the outcast buddies.
Starr: You and my mom really should hang out more, you have a lot in common and she --
Carly: What your father and I have is a unique snowflake of passionate anti-hero love and he has never had a relationship like this before! I mean has your mom cut her own hair because she was upset about him ever?
Starr: Yes, actually, right before I was born she --
Carly: Never! That's what I thought! Our love is dark and twisty and one-of-a-kind and we are very, very much in love! And neither of us has ever had a relationship ANYTHING LIKE THIS IN THE PAST! Sonny who? Blair who? Shut up.
Starr: Why didn't you forgive him, then? Not that I'm saying you should have.
Carly: I could've forgiven everything. I could've -- switching the babies, lying to you about Johnny and your family -- if only Todd would've come clean.
Wow! Carly is really a selfless woman. I cannot imagine how flattered Starr was that Carly would have forgiven Todd for lying to and betraying Starr. You have to have a pretty big old heart to forgive a man for lying to someone else!
And then a little bit later, the two of them yukked it up a bit over Todd's hilarious past mistakes (that wacky Todd, always screwing up and accidentally killing and raping and kidnapping!).
Carly: Okay. I think we should make a toast.
Starr: To what?
Carly: Todd manning -- the walking disaster.
Starr: I'll miss you, Dad.
Carly: I will, too.
Starr: Try not to make too many mistakes.
Carly: Oh, and try not to make too many new enemies.
Starr: And try to keep the lies to a minimum.
Carly: And if you have to lie, keep it simple.
Starr: Yes, and please, please stay away from other people's babies!
Hahahaha! Remember that time Todd let Sam think her baby died and totally gave the baby to Tea? Hysterical! Ahhh, the memories.
Next toast, Starr can fill Carly in on how Todd sold her little brother the day he was born and told Blair her child was stillborn! Oh, man. Messing with people's babies is NEVER NOT HILARIOUS.
Good times, you guys. Good times.
None of it matters, though, because Sam Manning is coming back to One Life to Live!!!!
We miss you, little Sam, and we can't wait to see you!
Oh yeah, and I guess Roger Howarth will be there, too, for four weeks as Todd. Now I haven't exactly been quiet about my distaste for the GH take on the character of Todd Manning, but I do think Roger Howarth is great and I obviously understand why the role on ABC would be preferable for him in the long run than a role on an untested internet soap, so I'm not going to throw a temper tantrum. I will say, however, that I hope the OLTL folks do right by his character and present him as much more than just a clown while he's there for a month -- he can keep his sense of humor, he's always had it. But he's also dangerous in a real (and not just a wacky "oopsie") way, and he also DOES HAVE A SOUL. It's a twisted and haunted and guilty one, but it's there. And maybe the GH folks will take a look at that and remember that he's a heck of a lot more than a court jester, and move forward accordingly when he returns?