Now We're Getting Somewhere
Now that felt like a February sweeps episode.
You know, one of the best and worst things about a Carlivati/Valentini-helmed show is that, as a result of both Carlivati's approach to storytelling as well as Valentini's approach to consolidating and block-taping in order to best keep the show budget down, the storyline wealth tends to get spread around. The latest Soap Opera Digest has an interview with Ron Carlivati in which he talks about how Brian Frons used to jokingly call him a socialist because he rotated stories through so many cast members while Frons thought that the best approach was to find your stars and give the vast majority of the material to the heavy hitters (yeah, we noticed that influence on GH for a damn decade and most of us nearly lost our minds). The great thing about this is that even if some storylines are driving me completely insane, there are always about fourteen other storylines to lean on (see The Bold & the Beautiful for an example of a show that currently gives 90% of its material to one small group of characters and one dominant storyline, and it is torture all of the time if you don't totally adore that plot and those people).
The worst thing about this is that soap viewing is kind of a full-immersion process. Three episodes in a row with a certain focus and that aren't really to one's tastes start to feel like THIS IS ALL THE SHOW IS NOW! Anyone who watched last week and last week only would be pretty damn sure this is a ridiculous show about vampires, doppelgangers, some clown named Todd being wacky, and Carly generally being horrible. While I'm sure some viewers had a blast, I was hurting, y'all.
You get the point. But the last couple of days we're back on a track that hurts me a hell of a lot less.
Now, just in case any viewers didn't start watching till the 90s and feel like that was the heyday of the show, the cornucopia of 80s nostalgia we're getting might not be all that much fun and the show might really feel like... not GH. But today was totally the GH of the last 17 years, y'all, because SONNY'S LOVE REDEEMED A WOMAN. You know, like it does. Obviously.
Sonny apparently rocked Connie so fantastically in bed that she wept.
Wept! Oh man. This show slays me.
Anyway it was apparently the happiest moment of Connie's "entire life," which... huh?
She was blathering on about how it's been so long since she'd had sex (other than the revenge sex with Johnny) and I was trying to figure out who Connie was sleeping with before considering she's an alter. God this D.I.D. story is a mess.Anyway apparently the sex was so pure and beautiful and life-affirming that it made Kate re-emerge, so Sonny is going to wake up next to a different "person" from the one he fell asleep with, which is surely no less than he deserves. I wondered how Kate will feel that Sonny "cheated on her" with Connie. Ha! I mean is that how it works? Oh hell, there's no "how it works" because they are just making this shit up on whims as they go along and every new bit of it is making me laugh even harder than the last.
Meanwhile, Sabrina was floating around the show today being... Sabrina. Which is a heavy load to bear since she is the worst. After she couldn't stop crying at the Haunted Star Valentine's Day party (which really differentiates the Haunted Star from no other place in the world, because there is nowhere that Sabrina doesn't cry or isn't on the edge of tears, though while she's AT HER JOB she's definitely in the most emotionally expressive and shaky place), she decided to head into work where she could really have a much better cry.
So here's the greatest, most hysterical sequence of the day: Britt puts on a fake face and horribly fakes apologizing to Emma for their "misunderstanding."
Emma was not having it, and bolted immediately.
Off she ran!
And SURPRISE, SURPRISE, guess who just happened to be right there to catch her and comfort her.
Shocker! Her favorite babysitter and first choice for new Mommy! WHAT A COINCIDENCE.
Oh, Afternoon Television Program, subtlety is just nowhere on your menu now, is it?
Anyway, the whole sequence was a laugh riot and I'm still scratching my head if this is any sort of insane attempt to move Sabrina into any kind of romantic situation with Patrick. It's important that whoever Patrick dates next does care about his daughter. But it's equally important that whoever Patrick dates next is A GROWNUP. And there certainly weren't any adult women in that room.
I've decided that this is a terrific storyline where they are putting all the perfect building blocks in place for Patrick to go ahead and adopt Sabrina so that she can be Emma's big sister! And then perhaps as Sabrina's new father, Patrick can foot the bill so she can get some therapy for her emotional development problems. (Was anyone else thinking that, however horrible Britt most certainly is, her letter to Monica was spot-on at least in the part where she was saying Sabrina's crush on a doctor was negatively affecting her job performance? BECAUSE IT IS. I so wanted Britt to add in a line or two about Sabrina's really terrible habit of "running off crying" AT WORK. And possibly include a photocopy of Sabrina's nursing school notes, which most surely have margins full of giants hearts with arrows through them and "Mrs. Patrick Drake" written inside.)
Okay, so those were the chunks of today's episode that I had fun watching for the sake of mockery. On other hand, there were things I was legitimately thrilled about. Shall we review?
1. Spinelli not being intolerable and actually seeming to care more about his lovely girlfriend Ellie than his ex. (Also file under the "subtlety no longer on the menu" category, there was a big fat Pixar product placement in that for the movie Up. Which NATURALLY is Ellie's favorite non-science-fiction movie. Or something.)
2. Now we're getting somewhere with Frisco. He wasn't really making much sense thus far. The writing was all over the place (as was the acting), and Frisco just wasn't familiar to me. He wins the "Worst Father Ever" Award for sure (just give Lucky another 10 years away and ignoring his sons, though, he'll have competition -- he wouldn't even recognize his boys now!), but he was never just a total dick in actual personality. So I didn't quite know what was going on. But now, what I hoped would happen has happened. Maxie finally confessed her secret to somebody -- because who has less of a right to judge her than Frisco, and who has more of an obligation to back her up no matter what?
Frisco: I'm watch you'd call a "fixer." I get paid to kill bad guys. And from where I'm standing, you're a bad guy.
Hell yes. There's some Frisco Jones. He may be the most unreliable son-of-a-bitch who ever lived, but when he does show up? He shows up. Shit gets real. And he doesn't even know yet what Britt pulled on Robin's daughter. If they're true to that history and he finds out the whole story, Frisco's warpath toward Britt is going to be scorched clear through.
3. Steve got stabbed, Steve got stabbed! (I say with all due apologies to Steve fans. Are there Steve fans? Steve got stabbed!)
And Olivia's horror-movie scream in response was just art.
It's like there's some Delgado up in here, people!
4. And last but most certainly not least, Luke and Laura!
Luke and Laura flashbacks!
The Ice Princess!
And of course Scott entered with a quip. "Who you callin' ugly?" I'M GIDDY.
Whew. Hell of a roller coaster today. I'm sure I'll want to throw things at vampires tomorrow, but this was a damn good time!