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« In the Immortal Words of William Munny and Snoop Pearson | Main | The Bold & the Beautiful: End-of-the-Week In Review »

April 05, 2013

Cloud Nine, Seventh Heaven, All I'll Ever Need, Etc.

Sweet soap opera lordie, y'all. I am giddy like a dumb little kid after Episode 1 of the resurrected Nurses Ball today!

And you know what? It's virtually impossible for me to be clever or thoughtful right now, so let's break it down in the most primitive way possible. I'm going off Serial Drama script here and doing something I only did once before (on a very special occasion) and just copying-and-pasting the online chat I had while watching this with my very best friend today (who sadly lives way too many hundreds of miles away). We've both watched the ABC shows since we were little, so uh... we kind of dork out about it. Judge all you want because you know a lot of you were doing the same thing!

Are you going to see what terrible hypocrites we are since we do a lot of complaining about characters acting like little kids while we both squeal and squeak and fawn and act like we're 11? YES, yes you are. Hypocrisy is the bedrock of American society. Or something.

Let's do this! 

me: I'm ready
 Jessica:  yay Lucy
 me:  NB host Lucy is the best Lucy ever
 Jessica:  YUP. And look at them!!!
 me:  Awww
WSB agent and soulful singer Frisco Jones!
 Jessica:  Oh dear.
 me:  Oh, Mac.
 Jessica:  Yeah, that's way to creepy.
Seriously? The press knows lab techs?
 me:  Christ, Ellie's pretty.
The press knows EVERYONE for the NB!
 Jessica:  She's ridiculous.
 Jessica:  DUKE! In a kilt
 me:  Talking about Robin. Sniffles.
 Jessica:  I wish your daughter was there in person, Anna!
 me:  Oh my god Duke and Robin's daughter holding hands I'M CRYING NOW
Soooo many duke&robin flashbacks right now

 Jessica:  Emma is ridiculous.
 me:  Oh gross, Patrick and Sabrina.
"reputed coffee importer" ha!
 Jessica:  Hehe!
 me:  Wow, Carly and Sonny look amazing.
Carly and sonny

 Jessica:  They really really really do.
Brenda looks like lady gaga
 me:  Oh no. Brenda looks horrifying.
Sonny wants a piece of that, though.
Jessica: Seriously, I think Lady Gaga wore that dress.
 me:  AWFUL.
 Jessica:  I so want LW's hair.
 me:  The dress is trying to eat her shoulder!
Ha! "You're appearing tonight on behalf of your fiance?" "Okay!"
Aww, Michael with Grandma Bobbie!
Jessica:  That was awesome.

me:  GROSS
 Jessica:  YAY!!! Liz and AJ
 me:  so hot
Oh my god Tracy is HILARIOUS!
She loves the red carpet.
Q matriarchs

 Jessica:  So much love.
Those pictures are amazing.
Corinthos associate?
 me:  Ha.
Whoa, Sam. Tight dress!
 Jessica:  Bumpit!
Alexis and her crew

 me:  HELLO, Alexis boobs.
There's NEVER really a party without Lucy Coe.
 Jessica:  NEVER.
 me:  Okay seriously. Sabrina is SERIOUSLY in a big puffy pink Cinderella princess dress?
 Jessica:  She really is.
 me:  Wasn't this supposed to be the big "she looks like a woman now" look? Because she doesn't.
 Jessica:  I have feelings for Sabrina.
 Jessica:  I feel disgust and loathing.
 me:  She looks like a girl dressed as Cinderella for Halloween.
Which I mean... Teresa Castillo is MUY CALIENTE.
So they didn't have to do it this way.
 Jessica:  They really really didn't.
 Her eye makeup is distracting
 me:  Sabs thought bubble: "Oh em gee. All my dreams are coming true! I've wanted a moment like this ever since I was a little girl!" Ewwwwww.
 Jessica:  She's not an amazing WOMAN Patrick.
 me:  Seriously? We're going to keep talking about the big hair and glasses?
 Jessica:  Apparently.
 me:  YES SABRINA, FOR YOU. Jesus.
me:  I'm glad I had some more Pepto before I sat down.
 Jessica:  SERIOUSLY.
 me:  Noah and Bobbie!!!!
Barbara jean spencer

 Jessica:  YAY!
 me:  My heart.
 Jessica:  Anna is ridiculous
 me:  HEY, Bobbie's single, Noah!
 Jessica:  YEP!
 me:  Oh god, Eli Love. Yikes.
 Jessica:  Hehe
 me:  Dude, Noah can get so much potential tail tonight,
 Jessica:  Damn Alexis
 me:  Right?
This is my favorite styling of Carly's new hair so far.
 Jessica:  by far.
 Felicia, you love Frisco! You belong with Frisco!
me:  I'm never going to get over how stunning Kristina Wagner is now.
 Jessica:  I KNOW!
me:  Oh for crap's sake, Sabrina.
 me:  yes.
 Jessica:  it's okay that it took you so long to figure out how amazing I am!
 me:  Seriously? He's going to just take someone else's date WHILE IT'S HAPPENING?
"A thousand times yes!" Ewwwwww.
"I've been ready since the day I met you." I AM DRY HEAVING.
 Jessica:  'I've been ready since the day I met you?'
 me:  Oh Carly. Brenda is a pathological liar? Hehehehehe.
"Have you met Shawn Butler? The Balkan hired him to kidnap you."
 Jessica:  HEHEHEHE
 me:  Okay, settle down, Liz.
 Jessica:  Serioulsy.
oh she's so emotional
yes way
Contact embarrassment

 Jessica:  This is just demeaning
 me:  Seriously. That's not Liz. Liz is bitchface. Not giddy schoolgirl.
Lucy's hair is amazing.
 Jessica:  She got lipstick on Patrick's collar? Did she bite his neck?
OH MY GOD!!!!!
Hostess with the mostess

 me:  Here come some little tears here.
 Jessica:  YUP.
 me:  Oh my lord Becky Herbst is THE CUTEST.
Loving Epiphany.
 Jessica:  I MIGHT PASS OUT.
 me:  This is so ridiculous and cheesy and perfect.
 me:  Sonya Eddy is on CLOUD NINE right now.
Love that there as as many male nurses as female.
Opening number

 Jessica:  SO AM I!
 me:  Acrobat nurses!
 Jessica:  Yes.
 me:  Oh man. I am seriously verklempt.
Jessica:  I'm maybe have trouble breathing.
me:  I can't even deal.
I don't know if you've heard, but Sabrina is a beautiful person inside and out. NOBODY'S MENTIONED THAT YET.
 me:  Oh my god Duke and Anna I can't handle it.
 me:  Whoa, KeMo's bumpit is MASSIVE tonight.
I take this was KM's partner on Dancing with the stars?
 me:  Oh god. Amy Vining and Jessie Brewer. Oh god oh god.
 Jessica:  OH MY GOD.
 me:  I told you that when I was little Shell Kepler (Amy) used to write back to my fan letters all the time, right?

 Jessica:  YES. I love her so much.
 me:  I want Lucy's upper arms.
 Jessica:  Me too.
Felicia hurts. She's so pretty.
 me:  Seriously.
Ellie and Spinelli are doing a science nerd dance!
 Jessica:  OMG!!!!
Science dance
me:  This is so silly and adorable.
 Jessica:  Amazing.
 me:  You know, Emily Wilson is really good. She's all sexy right now but she's still playing the nerd in Ellie at the same time.
 Jessica:  She really really is
God she's hot.
 me:  I'm just so dumb and happy right now.
 Jessica:  So ridiculously so.
Ellie is a very forgiving person
 me:  Okay, whoa.
Brenda and Carly
I can't believe they had a food fight with dinner rolls! Ha!
Did you just throw a dinner roll at me
Brenda is not having it

 Jessica:  That was amazing.
 me:  VM and LW are really funny together.
Jessica:  They really really are.
 me:  I'm sure a lot of people are pissy that Brenda and Carly are acting like babies in today's episode, but honestly. The NB has always been plenty of silliness.
And those two are great at the comedy.
 Jessica:  This is perfect.
 me:  Ha! Sonny, too, is being hilarious.
 Jessica:  He really really is.
And that's so weird
 me:  Oh of course Milo is now in the Patrick/Sabrina cheerleading squad immediately. Jeebus.
 Jessica:  Of course.
 me:  Oh, Felix. They really need to bring him a guy. Who likes guys.
 Jessica:  Yes! He needs a friend.
a special friend.
 me:  Yes, Sam is CLEARLY uncomfortable dancing and has no idea how!
Sam dance

 Jessica:  Cause this is something you just pick up from one dance lesson.
So clearly not a dancer there Sam.
 me:  Heh.
 Jessica:  One lesson
 me:  KeMo rocks.
 Jessica:  She really does.
 me:  Oh no. Mac.
 Jessica:  Oh no.
 me:  Oh god.
 Jessica:  OH GOD.
Mac does not make his case

 me:  But Emma!!!
 Jessica:  So amazing
Mac, this is so not helping you.
me:  Wow.
I love Mac, but damn.
And NOT attractive, sir!
 Jessica:  Yeah, he's doing that in front of Frisco's daughter -- the one he raised.
That is a really really shitty to do.
 Does he think THIS will win Felicia over.
me:  Jeez.
 Jessica:  Inappropriate.
On so many levels
 me:  Oh really, Mac? Sure, you're just cool with whatever she decides.
Really? Maxie was impressed by that?
Oh GOD. Yes, Emma, she DOES look like a princess.
 Jessica:  LIZ
 me:  Awww, AJ and Liz!
 Jessica:  Liz looks like a queen
not a fucking fairytale princess.
 me:  Here we go here we go here we go!
 Jessica:  HERE WE GO!!!!!!
 me:  My heart my heart my heart.
 Jessica:  I can't take it.
 me:  And the tears have begun again.
Frisco is singing and we are SWOONING

 Jessica:  Yep.
 me:  Oh god Kristina Wagner. This cannot be easy. Bless her heart.
Felicia breaking my effing heart

 Jessica:  No, it can't be.
 Jessica:  AWWWW
 me:  Oh my heart my heart.
I re-lived puberty 27 times today

 Jessica:  I'm shaking!
Duke and Anna!
Duke loooooooves anna
Anna just KNOWS she wants that kilt on her bedroom floor by morning

 me:  It's like 30 years of just... I don't... so much happening!
 Jessica:  I KNOW.
I so know.
 me:  Ha. Half the cast has just fallen in love with Jack Wagner.
NLG and KeMo moonin' over some Jack Wagner action
Jessica:  Yeah they have.
 me:  That's right Felicia. He is the love of your life.
Maxie knows her mama is done for
Meant to be.
 me:  I've just died. Died.
Just one more screencap, Mom, pleeeeeeeeease!

 Jessica:  Oh I'm gonna faint.
 me:  Poor Felicia is going to puke.
 Jessica:  OH MY GOD.
 me:  I can't handle this.
 Jessica:  now THAT is a Friday cliffhanger.
 me:  Holy crap.
 Jessica:  That was way too fast!!!!
 me:  I need a cigarette.
 Jessica:  hehehehe
 me:  I can't deal.
And shes going to say no. Which I can't deal with either.
I mean I know Mac is the "right" choice and she will choose him, but who cares? It's Frisco and Felicia
 Jessica:  IT SURE IS.
   Okay, so Felix needs a fella, Robin needs to come back, and Mac needs to fall in love with someone else.
 me:  Yes.
Well, Robin's not going to come back. So they need to bring someone else on for Patrick.
And that's about where we started to wrap it up. Started to.
I leave you with this. Stuff starts to get extra fabulous around 2:00.


Judy, that was definitely Jack Wagner singing -- he did a special new recording of the song just for the show.

Love the commentary on the Sabrina/Patrick scenes. I hate all this Sabrina propping especially during the Nurses Ball which is supposed to be in honor of ROBIN. And to think they cut a pivotal scene between Bobbie and Felicia talking about Maxie and BJ so we get these Sabrina/Patrick scenes. Praying he finds out Robin is alive so we don't have to deal with this childish storyline much longer.

I'm team Mac but you can't ignore the chemistry between Frisco and Felicia. Must have been awkward for Jack to sing that song to Kristina.

Gwen - you are absolutely correct. 'Lady of My Heart' was Felicia's song but it wasn't as big a radio hit so nobody remembers it.

Like most GH fans my age I dorked out and sang along (totally unspoiled for it and it was GLORIOUS)...but I have to point out one thing that kept it from being unassailably perfect.

John Stamos should have been on the drums.

Indeed, Telaryn. I'm still hoping they hit us with a "Sneak Attack"

In a surprising turn of events, Kelly Monaco just won this season's Dancing with the Stars.

Sorry Louise, I wasn't clear about Jack Wagner's performance. I know it was him; I just meant if he was LIVE, that was amazing, because most singers do not sound that good live. I heard him live on Broadway and he was good, but that was over ten years ago. Just wondered if it was lip synced or not, but I never thought it wasn't him!

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