Cloud Nine, Seventh Heaven, All I'll Ever Need, Etc.
Sweet soap opera lordie, y'all. I am giddy like a dumb little kid after Episode 1 of the resurrected Nurses Ball today!
And you know what? It's virtually impossible for me to be clever or thoughtful right now, so let's break it down in the most primitive way possible. I'm going off Serial Drama script here and doing something I only did once before (on a very special occasion) and just copying-and-pasting the online chat I had while watching this with my very best friend today (who sadly lives way too many hundreds of miles away). We've both watched the ABC shows since we were little, so uh... we kind of dork out about it. Judge all you want because you know a lot of you were doing the same thing!
Are you going to see what terrible hypocrites we are since we do a lot of complaining about characters acting like little kids while we both squeal and squeak and fawn and act like we're 11? YES, yes you are. Hypocrisy is the bedrock of American society. Or something.
Let's do this!
me: I'm readygo!
Jessica: yay Lucy
me: NB host Lucy is the best Lucy ever
Jessica: YUP. And look at them!!!
me: AwwwWSB agent and soulful singer Frisco Jones!
Jessica: Oh dear.
me: Oh, Mac.
Jessica: Yeah, that's way to creepy.Seriously? The press knows lab techs?
me: Christ, Ellie's pretty.The press knows EVERYONE for the NB!
Jessica: She's ridiculous.
me: DUKE IS IN A KILT OMG
Jessica: DUKE! In a kilt
me: Talking about Robin. Sniffles.
Jessica: I wish your daughter was there in person, Anna!
Jessica: Emma is ridiculous.OH GOD THAT DRESS
me: Oh gross, Patrick and Sabrina."reputed coffee importer" ha!
Ha! "You're appearing tonight on behalf of your fiance?" "Okay!"Aww, Michael with Grandma Bobbie!
me: GROSSJessica: YAY!!! Liz and AJ
Jessica: So much love.Those pictures are amazing.Corinthos associate?
Whoa, Sam. Tight dress!
Jessica: Bumpit!me: HELLO, Alexis boobs.There's NEVER really a party without Lucy Coe.Jessica: NEVER.GAGGGGGme: Okay seriously. Sabrina is SERIOUSLY in a big puffy pink Cinderella princess dress?Jessica: She really is.OH PATRICK.me: Wasn't this supposed to be the big "she looks like a woman now" look? Because she doesn't.Jessica: I have feelings for Sabrina.Jessica: I feel disgust and loathing.me: She looks like a girl dressed as Cinderella for Halloween.Which I mean... Teresa Castillo is MUY CALIENTE.So they didn't have to do it this way.Jessica: They really really didn't.Her eye makeup is distractingme: Sabs thought bubble: "Oh em gee. All my dreams are coming true! I've wanted a moment like this ever since I was a little girl!" Ewwwwww.Jessica: She's not an amazing WOMAN Patrick.me: Seriously? We're going to keep talking about the big hair and glasses?Jessica: Apparently.me: YES SABRINA, FOR YOU. Jesus.
me: I'm glad I had some more Pepto before I sat down.Jessica: SERIOUSLY.GROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSme: Noah and Bobbie!!!!Jessica: YAY!me: My heart.Jessica: Anna is ridiculousme: HEY, Bobbie's single, Noah!Jessica: YEP!me: Oh god, Eli Love. Yikes.Jessica: Heheme: Dude, Noah can get so much potential tail tonight,Jessica: Damn Alexisme: Right?This is my favorite styling of Carly's new hair so far.Jessica: by far.Felicia, you love Frisco! You belong with Frisco!me: I'm never going to get over how stunning Kristina Wagner is now.FILET MIGNON!
Jessica: I KNOW!
me: Oh for crap's sake, Sabrina.Jessica: AGDJFIGDHJOISDFGUIOS;irhejtkme: yes.Jessica: it's okay that it took you so long to figure out how amazing I am!me: Seriously? He's going to just take someone else's date WHILE IT'S HAPPENING?"A thousand times yes!" Ewwwwww."I've been ready since the day I met you." I AM DRY HEAVING.Jessica: 'I've been ready since the day I met you?'me: Oh Carly. Brenda is a pathological liar? Hehehehehe."Have you met Shawn Butler? The Balkan hired him to kidnap you."Jessica: HEHEHEHEme: Okay, settle down, Liz.Jessica: Serioulsy.oh she's so emotionalyes wayme: WE'RE ALL AT A MIDDLE SCHOOL DANCE OH GIDDY GIDDY. Kill me. Now.Jessica: This is just demeaningme: Seriously. That's not Liz. Liz is bitchface. Not giddy schoolgirl.Lucy's hair is amazing.Jessica: She got lipstick on Patrick's collar? Did she bite his neck?me: THE NURSES BALL IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW, JESS.me: Here come some little tears here.Jessica: YUP.
me: Oh my lord Becky Herbst is THE CUTEST.
Jessica: I MIGHT PASS OUT.me: This is so ridiculous and cheesy and perfect.Jessica: OH MY GOD IT'S PERFECTJAZZ HANDSJessica: SO AM I!me: Acrobat nurses!Jessica: Yes.EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEme: Oh man. I am seriously verklempt.Jessica: I'm maybe have trouble breathing.THE NURSES BALL!!!!!!!me: I can't even deal.I don't know if you've heard, but Sabrina is a beautiful person inside and out. NOBODY'S MENTIONED THAT YET.Jessica: I DID NOT KNOW THATme: Oh my god Duke and Anna I can't handle it.Jessica: YES! IT DOES REMIND YOU ANNA
me: Whoa, KeMo's bumpit is MASSIVE tonight.
Jessica: MASSIVE MASSIVE.I take this was KM's partner on Dancing with the stars?me: Oh god. Amy Vining and Jessie Brewer. Oh god oh god.Jessica: OH MY GOD.me: I told you that when I was little Shell Kepler (Amy) used to write back to my fan letters all the time, right?Jessica: YES. I love her so much.me: I want Lucy's upper arms.Jessica: Me too.Felicia hurts. She's so pretty.me: Seriously.Ellie and Spinelli are doing a science nerd dance!Jessica: OMG!!!!me: This is so silly and adorable.Jessica: Amazing.me: You know, Emily Wilson is really good. She's all sexy right now but she's still playing the nerd in Ellie at the same time.Jessica: She really really isGod she's hot.me: I'm just so dumb and happy right now.Jessica: So ridiculously so.Ellie is a very forgiving person
Jessica: That was amazing.
me: VM and LW are really funny together.Jessica: They really really are.me: I'm sure a lot of people are pissy that Brenda and Carly are acting like babies in today's episode, but honestly. The NB has always been plenty of silliness.And those two are great at the comedy.Jessica: This is perfect.me: Ha! Sonny, too, is being hilarious.Jessica: He really really is.And that's so weirdme: Oh of course Milo is now in the Patrick/Sabrina cheerleading squad immediately. Jeebus.Jessica: Of course.me: Oh, Felix. They really need to bring him a guy. Who likes guys.Jessica: Yes! He needs a friend.a special friend.me: Yes, Sam is CLEARLY uncomfortable dancing and has no idea how!Jessica: Cause this is something you just pick up from one dance lesson.So clearly not a dancer there Sam.me: Heh.Jessica: One lessonme: KeMo rocks.Jessica: She really does.me: Oh no. Mac.
Jessica: Oh no.
me: Oh god.Jessica: OH GOD.me: But Emma!!!Jessica: So amazingOH DEARMac, this is so not helping you.me: Wow.I love Mac, but damn.Pathetic.And NOT attractive, sir!Jessica: Yeah, he's doing that in front of Frisco's daughter -- the one he raised.That is a really really shitty to do.Does he think THIS will win Felicia over.YES.me: Jeez.Jessica: Inappropriate.On so many levels
me: Oh really, Mac? Sure, you're just cool with whatever she decides.Really? Maxie was impressed by that?Oh GOD. Yes, Emma, she DOES look like a princess.
Uggh.Jessica: LIZme: Awww, AJ and Liz!Jessica: Liz looks like a queennot a fucking fairytale princess.me: Here we go here we go here we go!Jessica: HERE WE GO!!!!!!me: My heart my heart my heart.Jessica: I can't take it.me: And the tears have begun again.Jessica: Yep.OH SHE HAS TO CHOOSE FRISCO!!!!!me: Oh god Kristina Wagner. This cannot be easy. Bless her heart.Jessica: No, it can't be.me: God. FELICIA I WILL TAKE HIM IF YOU DON'T WANT HIM.Jessica: AWWWWFelicia!me: Oh my heart my heart.me: It's like 30 years of just... I don't... so much happening!Jessica: I KNOW.I so know.me: Ha. Half the cast has just fallen in love with Jack Wagner.Jessica: Yeah they have.me: That's right Felicia. He is the love of your life.
Jessica: LOVE FOREVER
Meant to be.
me: I've just died. Died.Jessica: Oh I'm gonna faint.me: Poor Felicia is going to puke.Jessica: OH MY GOD.me: I can't handle this.Jessica: now THAT is a Friday cliffhanger.me: Holy crap.Jessica: That was way too fast!!!!me: I need a cigarette.Jessica: heheheheTHE NURSES BALL!!!!!me: I can't deal.And shes going to say no. Which I can't deal with either.I mean I know Mac is the "right" choice and she will choose him, but who cares? It's Frisco and FeliciaJessica: IT SURE IS.Okay, so Felix needs a fella, Robin needs to come back, and Mac needs to fall in love with someone else.
me: Yes.Well, Robin's not going to come back. So they need to bring someone else on for Patrick.