In the Immortal Words of William Munny and Snoop Pearson
(Oh I don't know. Maybe my self-challenge for the day was to relate two wildly disparate characters from two insanely distinct pieces of scripted entertainment and pull the biggest stretch in the world to somehow tie it to General Hospital. Maybe I'm going insane from frostbite after spending four hours outside at a baseball game tonight. Maybe I'm having some bizarre long-overdue soap opera overdose symptoms and have finally lost it. Does it really matter? I don't know yet.)
Deserve's got nothing to do with it, y'all.
So shall we begin with Carly and Jax and Brenda and Sonny? This is a tough one for me. I understand one thousand percent why the various entanglements of these four characters are being revisited to mark GH's 50th Anniversary. The Sonny/Brenda/Jax triangle was a 90s centerpiece for the show and one of the most heralded on daytime, while Sonny and Carly were a tumultuous tentpole pairing through later years, while the last few are marked by Carly and Jax's union. Practically twenty years of dominant couples right there, and if you have all of them in the same place at the same time, why not revisit?
For me, I think it's just a matter of Vanessa Marcil's various departures and returns to the show, but it's starting to get almost comical that every single time we get a Brenda visit, she alternates back to the last dude. When she returned from the dead in 2002, she reunited with Jax. When she returned again in 2009, she reunited with Sonny. And here were are in 2013 and she's engaged to Jax. Again. Because Sonny didn't give her what she wanted. Again. And Carly's head is exploding about it. Again. Is it wrong that Carly's head exploding about it again is always going to be my favorite part of this recurring tale?
Last time she busted her scheming butt to try to drive Sonny and Brenda apart, while this time her focus is on Jax. And that's fine by me, since I find Carly's interest in Jax far more fun than her interest in Sonny (in Laura Wright's incarnation anyway).
And of course in terms of whether or not I'm an "S&B" gal or a "J&B" gal, well, my affinity is firm and serious and hardcore (and uh, might be in a minority on this very site, ahem!). But at this point it's sort of irrelevant unless we get word that all of these characters are really sticking around long-term. I suppose it's better to let the off-screen characters be together and obviously leave the on-screen characters available for new romances (or old ones, depending).
And it's always fun to see Sonny all pissy.
(Cut your hair, lady!)
Sonny: Congratulations. Now you can leave.
Always so satisfying!
Distance and repetition have really mellowed me on this triangle, as has the fact that I now like two of these characters a lot less than I did back in the day, and I like another one a hell of a lot more. And in a way all four of them kind of deserve each other, but then of course that's got nothing to do with it. And I've always preferred dark and twisty over squeaky-clean sweethearts where the fought-over person just chooses the nicer suitor because they "deserve" it somehow. Which great love stories have been made up of healthy choices? None that I find very memorable!
Meanwhile, Helena was sure hoping that Laura would think Ethan deserved to die because of his shitty origin story. I mean what are we responsible for most if not the thing that happened before we were born to make us born?
(I missed you, Ethan! Yeah, I know. Another dissenting Serial Drama opinion. Sorry!)
Fortunately, Laura is not that into ill logic. (Despite Luke setting that idiotic example for her with Nikolas years ago.) Which resulted in Helena finally getting what she deserved (though I don't believe for a second it's permanent).
I'll admit that at first I was a little grumpy because it would have been nice to have Laura as the one pulling the trigger, but at the end of the day this was far more apt. Pissy as I've been at Luke for the last few years, he has had about a million more interactions with Helena over the past 30+ years and this nicely made up for all those annoying scenes for last era in which he and Helena just sort of harmlessly flirt-hated each other as if it were hilarious and there was never any real threat at all. So while he may not have earned the right to be her end, sometimes things that are unearned make even more sense.
Also, how hilarious was everyone's dopey realization afterwards that Helena was the only one who knew Lulu's whereabouts? D'oh! Wasn't that her whole angle, you guys?!
Elsewhere in the Land of the Deserving, did you guys know that Sabrina is the loveliest, nicest, most perfect person ever and even the random hospital patients adore her and think it's insane that no man has snatched her up yet? And Milo's not being so nice anymore, so he deserves nothing!
Also, anyone else notice that her inevitable physical transition is underway ever-so-subtly in the form of her hair?
She's still got the big glasses and the braid, y'all, but check it out. That hair is straightened under there! THE GLAMOROUS CURL RELAXER/CONTACT LENSES MAKEOVER IS ALMOST COMPLETE. But no matter! Patrick already realized he's falling for her even before her hair started changing. Because she deserves it. Because she is nice and sweet and everybody thinks so and anyone who doesn't is a big fat meanie. And as mentioned above, sweetness and "deserve" are really what all great love stories are made up of, right? (Oh please, please, please, if the entire point of this isn't just to create drama for a known Robin return, bring on someone a little darker and more sophisticated for Patrick to throw in a little excitement soon! My teeth hurt.)
- I have been coveting that jacket of Liz's for days now. I want colors that perfect in my life.
- Lucy to Sam: "You're gonna be Elizabeth!" probably made some soap crazies' heads explode, Carly-style, despite the innocent context. Ha!
- Does anyone get the impression that the entire writing team just wants to make "balls" puns constantly about the Nurses Ball but are a bit nervous about slipping them past the censors? What I wouldn't give for one straight-to-DVD totally uncensored episode of General Hospital.
- Nurses Ball, y'all! IT'S SO CLOSE!