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« Cloud Nine, Seventh Heaven, All I'll Ever Need, Etc. | Main | Heavily Accented Camp Is My Favorite Kind of Camp »

April 07, 2013

The Bold & the Beautiful: End-of-the-Week In Review

I'm so sorry that I've been slacking on B&B coverage -- you may have noticed that things are a little exciting over in GH-land, what with the 50th anniversary and the Nurses Ball and the crazy 50-hour marathon two weekends in a row. So much to cover!

But no matter! I'm all caught up on B&B and maybe I'm just feeling soap-generous at the moment but this show is a blast right now.

First of all, they rewrote and re-invented Caroline's character completely. Would it have been better for a slow build to make the change a little more understandable and a little less overnight? Yes. But the character needed a makeover ASAP and I, for one, love the recharge she's gotten. Caroline was the blandest, nicest, most-go-nowhere character the show had (though not the only one, that's for sure) and in order to keep the character and let her drive story, they had to actually give her a personality. And boy did they! She is a snobby, scheming bitch-from-hell now. The show desperately needed a nasty low-down schemer since Amber left and Steffy's going maternal. Now they've got one, but with the extra-fun spin of the elitist uppity-ness on top of it all. She. Cracks. Me. Up. And another thing: Linsey Godfrey is on fire. This? She can do. Beautifully. She is seriously nailing it and I'm loving it. One of my favorite moments was in Thursday's episode when she took a photo of her freakin' salad and posted it online and then bragged about how many "likes" she got. For her salad. I literally laughed out loud and I don't remember when I last did that for this show. (Or rather, when this show meant for me to laugh out loud and I did so.) Plus, I was grateful that her nastiness is finally sending Dayzee over the edge, as she had some fantastic reaction shots in that scene.

And her first official scheme? IS A MASTERPIECE OF HILARITY. She's paying an adult filmmaker to somehow trick Maya into starring in porn!

Caroline goes to the porn office

Because apparently Maya is so dumb that she won't realize what's happening when she's having actual sex on screen and some dude is jerking off onto her actual boobs that, hey, this is not the next Schindler's List! (Girlfriend spent years in prison and before that lived on the street. I certainly hope they'll toughen her up and not actually have her be too shy or something to fight back on this. Because that would be absurd. But in the meantime, hysterical.)

Oh and Caroline even did her best porn star imitation while talking to the director.

Caroline's porn routine

Caroline being amazing

Like I said, cracking me up. Her best work on this show by a country mile.

Meanwhile, Rick is literally going on dates with Maya in front of his girlfriend and it's totally okay and not weird because this is B&B and Liam made out with two women for two years but apparently never betrayed either of them and is the greatest catch alive.


Rick on his date

Rick explains away his girlfriend's beastliness by repeatedly explaining that she's from New York. Yes, New Yorkers are well-known for being terrified of a little dirt and being insanely snooty and never remembering anyone's name. (Thankfully Maya defended our people, dammit!)

Anyway, so Maya showed up for her screen test and was immediately told she didn't need one and was totes cool with that. You know, like you do.

Yay porn director

The face of a porn star

This is going to be really fun, isn't it?

Across town, gross things were happening. Brooke and Bill had sex literally five minutes after Katie left the room in the midst of Brooke's continued denials that anything was or would ever go on between her and Katie's husband. Way to stick to your guns for four minutes, Brooke! BEST SISTER EVER!

Brooke and bill afterglow

Double eww

And seriously, not a shred of guilt. They basked in the afterglow, legs intertwined, declaring how very happy they are and how much they feel loved by one another. Seriously. Not one little, "So.... this won't go over so well when we tell Katie we lasted four minutes before sexing it up, right?" Nothing.


Oh yeah, and the best part is that these lines were actually said right when they first came up for air...

Brooke: Stallion.

Bill: You're quite a filly. Yee-haw!

I could puke. I love it. They're so gross!

And because obviously the course of true love never can run smooth, d'oh!

That awkward moment when the hospital calls because your sister is critical while you are bonking her husband

Katie's not feeling so hot

Katie's in the hospital, unconscious!

Poor Brooke and Bill. When will these two sweet star-crossed lovers ever get the chance to feel the happiness they so clearly deserve?

Oh man. GOOD WEEK.


It is S-I-C-K what Brooke did with her sister's husband. There is no way I could ever get behind this disgusting couple.

After denying and saying how she would never do this to Katie and how much she loves her, as soon as Katie leaves she sleeps with Bill and shows no remorse or anxiety even though she knows how heartbroken and hysterical her sister was before she left. Bill is just a DOG and he was looking for an excuse to sleep with Brooke and he's blaming his drinking and everything on Katie!

If history is any guide, Brooke will feel terrible soon enough. One tear will even trickle down her cheek. But who cares! Maya's being tricked into porn!

It's actually sad that more characters aren't tricked into porn. The last I can remember is "Hold The Diploma" and that was more blackmailed into porn. Not the same thing. Notatall.

"I could puke. I love it. They're so gross!"

I love my Brooke, but 4 minutes, 4 freaking minutes?! They are so terrible and I'm finding it all so delicious! And how amazing was Katie ripping into them?! (sidenote 1: I feel sorry for KKL though, and sidenote 2: Madonna & JTimberlake did manage to save the world in 4 minutes, lol).

Anyway, B&B's got it going on. FINALLY!

@marz: I was thinking the same thing!

Ziyal, yes, I did read that Katherine Kelly Lang was frustrated by this storyline because she thought Brooke had actually learned from her mistakes. She really wanted a major business story for her or something.

I do feel bad for her. But am impressed with how committed she is to selling it nonetheless!

I couldn't agree with you more, Louise. KKL is doing such a great job selling Brill (& DD is not doing a bad job either) that a part of me wonders if she isn't overselling on purpose (to prove some kind of point). Because WHO can be so blissful half an hour after their distraught sister runs out?! WHO?!

It's no secret that I enjoy watching Brill, but I found the afterglow almost campy. Brooke saying that Bill gave her her strength (and there was no "again" or "back" at the end of that sentence, as if she were 20 years old and had never done anything in her life). And then the romantic theme music that they got, considering they are supposed to be an absolutely WRONG coupling. At least Brooke didn't call Bill her "destiny" :D

Whatever the case may be, I think everyone would agree that no one can play Brooke like KKL does.

I'm very happy to not have to watch the triangle of doom :)

PS And despite my enjoyment of Brill, I would have much preferred an independent business woman storyline for Brooke too.

As always I'm enjoying the screencaps immensely :)

If I didn't know better, I would think you were making this up. And I watched Passions and James E. Reilly's Days before that.

It makes me happy that "Hold the Diploma" has been mentioned here.

His diploma was so big because he had a double major.

I honestly didn't think anything could be worse than the "giant olive" innuendo puke fest....I was so wrong. Giddy up, Stallion...ew.
Since this show really isn't worth watching anymore, and I gave up on Y&R months ago, how hard would it be for me to jump into GH right now? Is it worth trying to get caught up after 50 years?

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