The Rules of the Mental, Soap-Style
Well, there are upsides and downsides.
When it comes to soap amnesia, those who are perfectly aware of the amnesiac situation must never give advance notice to any loved ones or acquaintances in advance of the first meeting. No warning to the extended family, no heads-up to friends. Shit, y'all. The Spencer/Falconeri gang seemed to have even made an appointment with Patrick for Lulu without having even mentioned that the most acute need for this particular exam was that she's FORGOTTEN HER WHOLE LIFE. Why would her doctor need to know? He'll find out when she shrieks that she doesn't know him!
Oh and another thing that happens with soap amnesia: they only forget their personal lives. They remember their command of the English language, they remember what year it is and who the President is. Nobody ever asks them if they remember learning to read and write, or if they remember whether or not they voted for this particular president, or how they even know that they can legally walk into a bar and order a drink. And they never want doctors to help them actually get their memory back, they just want to be LEFT ALONE! (Does Lulu even have a wallet? Somehow I feel like Stavros didn't hang on to it as a favor to her while he'd put her on ice.)
And poor Dante has lost his "Most Perfect Husband Ever" title because he is acting just as every soap mate behaves when their significant other turns up all amnesiac. That is to say, he is all up her grill constantly and isn't the least bit interested in what her doctor has to say or suggest.
He's exhibiting zero patience and, rather than focusing entirely on the fact that she is MIRACULOUSLY ALIVE and trying to make sure she has the space and comfort necessary so that she can stop feeling so terrified and start getting her footing again, he's preoccupied entirely with making sure she remembers him THIS VERY SECOND. (This reminds me an awful lot of Teen Jessica's amnesia over on OLTL, in which usually-perfect Brody spent every waking second trying to get her to fall in love with him rather than just trying to be grateful that her stepfather Charlie didn't actually kill her when he accidentally shot her and maybe not trying to force a boyfriend on a crazy girl who just got almost-raped by her then-bio-dad and maybe give her a little time and support and.... oh lord, do I go on. Y'all, One Life to Live is currently premiering a brand new episode downtown RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND so I'm a little distracted and possibly unwell. Emotionally. So you can see why this is the perfect blog theme!)
I love soap amnesia. Have I mentioned that I love soap amnesia? I seriously do.
D.I.D., on the other hand, has its own rules. When you're integrated, you can actually just stop therapy FOREVER. Not even a weekly 50-minute check-in is ever going to be necessary again. You're totally fine and not nervous about approaching the world with this new you, and you have a fabulously healthy sense of self-deprecating humor about it the second you re-emerge into a world you haven't seen as a whole person since childhood.
But seriously? I do not care that it's too much too soon and wildly outlandish. This cross between Kate and Alter-Connie is exactly what I have been wanting this entire time and I think Kelly Sullivan is nailing it already. Now that they've given her a character and not a cartoon to play and are extricating her from the Sonny Bubble (are they? I know we're supposed to see the continued longing, but I have no idea if this separation will stick, but I do hope they match some cast integration with her personality integration), I'm all of a sudden way happier to see her on my screen. (It's a good thing she's so self-possessed right off the bat since her one family member in town cares more about Sonny's hurt feelings than her cousin's mental health!)
In other news, Sabrina got a new personality and a whole new wardrobe and is super-confident and walks more comfortably in high heels than a runway model, but she did all of that not because of inpatient psychiatric treatment or D.I.D. integration or loss of memory, she simply did it because she wore a pretty dress and got kissed by her prince one night. Swoon! (Cough, cough. Minor upchuck. Carry on.)
And someone running out of town without any glass slipper at all is a certain Brenda Barrett who, as we all figured, did not have sex with Michael at all. She just let him think it for a couple days and, hilariously, while he seemed relieved by the truth he also had a little tiny moment of wistful disappointment. You know, because she's a supermodel. Or something.
I've mentioned before that I was always a Sonny/Brenda girl myself (DON'T YELL AT ME I'M FRAGILE), but I've spent so much time frustrated with those characters for so long that in no way did I want to see a reunion or big confessions of always-love this time around, so that tearful airport goodbye today didn't really do much for me. Brenda looked pretty pathetic there. But hey, she pissed Carly off and had a little fun catfighting and I can't help but have a soft spot for Bad Bad Brenda -- so much more fun than weepy romantic heroine Constant Victim Brenda, so I have to say this visit was still better than her last one for me.
See ya next visit!
HAVE I MENTIONED THAT I LOVE SOAP AMNESIA?