Top Reasons NOT to Watch the New AMC and OLTL
Y'all, it's literally less than one day away.
Oh wait, I shouldn't watch. Here's a poll that I developed after combing the internet and finding the most popular reasons that people are not going to watch the revived All My Children and One Life to Live and I think you'll all agree that this is how we should live and think and we should totally not watch. Vote now on why you absolutely will not watch! Check your pick!
_ I refuse to pay to watch soaps, even though you absolutely can watch them for free.
_ I watched a 118-second promo video and I can already tell that THEY HATE THE FANS AND DON'T CARE ABOUT THE VETS!
_ I base all my viewing decisions on routine entertainment litigation and obviously Prospect Park is a super-evil production company and the first to ever sue a television network and therefore it is my moral obligation to refuse to watch a show that, actually, earns ABC money if I watch it.
_ Prospect Park told us we'd keep AMC and OLTL online and it would happen in January of 2012 and it didn't happen because they couldn't put the money together and that is just wrong and they are mean and cannot be trusted so I will not watch the shows that they literally brought back from the dead later than they had hoped.
_ Serial drama is just dead, forget it. The proof is in the pudding, which is something like 400 serial dramas currently on TV.
_ There are only four episodes a week. SACRILEGE. I'd rather have no soaps than a 20% reduction in story content!
_ I am sub-human and I do not like David Canary or Erika Slezak because, really, who would?
_ I do not have the internet, despite the fact that I am currently on the internet reading this dumb poll.
_ My favorite couple is not together, so obviously everyone hates me AND WANTS TO RUIN THE GENRE.
_ I do not like joy.
I may have had a little freakout the other day on Serial Drama's Facebook page about this. I'm going to get up SO EARLY tomorrow. To watch. For free. Because that's how it works. THAT IS HOW IT WORKS.