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« What Were They SUPPOSED To Believe?! | Main | Oh My God, He's The One Who Needs Brain Surgery »

May 03, 2013

All My Profound Thanks

I promise* that I will soon stop making "All My..." jokes. It just feels so good to be able to make them again and have them be relevant! And the truth of the matter is that I really do have so many reasons to be thankful for All My Children, like how it's back in my life, for starters, but also for the half hour long running time that means episodes zip by breezily and I don't even have the chance to be bored and for Lindsay Hartley's shiny shiny hair and so on and so forth.


So I am grateful for a lot of Pine Valley related things, but today nothing even comes close to my gratefulness for David Hayward just existing and for Vincent Irizarry's classic soap acting. His monologue at a comatose (and also SORASed? I know that the new JR is roughly the same age as Jacob Young, but the latter had such a baby face that it makes the former look like a contemporary of Dixie's, not her son) JR was all sorts of amazing because it contained a lot of emoting and also really stilted explanations of what happened at the Chandler Mansion five years ago/the day of the ABC finale.

David: Hello, JR. It's me, your old friend David.


Your neurological responses are surprisingly good. No wonder they haven't pulled the plug. "Pulled the plug". Such an evocative expression, don't you think? It sounds so simple, but it really isn't, because to actually pull the plug, one would really want to turn this machine off. See, the first thing one would do would be to silence the alarms--like this [At this point, obviously, David proceeds to turn the machines off very dramatically] And then again like this [Another machine, off]. And then of course there's the circuit breaker, which helps the machine switch up into the backup battery if need be. [Chuckles. And you know how I know he chuckles? Because he enunciates every single "Heh" in "Heh, heh, heh" and also because the closed captioning says so].

David: I can't have you dying before your time, JR [Sniffles]

I may have tried to end your miserable life five years ago. From the look of things, it's much better than I ever could have hoped for. Yeah, that's right. Because you're in jail now, just as much as I was. The only difference is I'm a free man and where you are must be much worse. You don't deserve any better, JR. Not after what you took away from me [What was taken away from him was Marissa. And while it's utterly tragic that the man lost ANOTHER one of his children, I think we can all agree that Marissa was lame at best and it's upsetting to see Bianca still so deep in grief for someone who has no real personality that I can remember]. Even death would be a reprieve for you, so enjoy your living hell, JR. I hope you never leave it.

David: Who were you really out to kill that night? Did you even know? And what would have happened if I hadn't seen you peeking out from the tunnels and made my way to get behind you and try to stop you? [This, OBVIOUSLY, was accompanied by a flashback of this very event shaking out]. When I saw her lying there, I almost put the gun to my own head [ANOTHER FLASHBACK where you could actually see him talk himself out of suicide]

Davidbut then I realized you were still alive and did the only thing I could do. I had no qualms about pleading guilty. I told them I wish I had been a better shot.

I mean, really. Amazing, right? It was both a clumsy way to explain a huge, confusing, offscreen situation and it was also SO SOAPY. And his horror when JR's fingers started to move? I laughed out loud and looked at my clock impatiently to see just how many hours I'd have to wait for a new episode.


nuJR looks like the cartoon character Aquaman .. seriously ...

I'll be honest, David Hayworth is the only reason I'm watching the AMC revamp. I was never as invested in AMC as I was OLTL, and Zach without Kendall makes my heart hurt (though I love him, obviously). But I always thought that David was the best character on the show, particularly during his anti-hero moments (as opposed to his being-thrown-under-the-bus-for-St-Ryan moments). Here's hoping it goes well! (Also, I forgot how much I liked him with Cara. I like them!)

I never cared for CARA or GRIFFIN before... They were a bandaid on, lets face it, what was a corpse.
But this time, I like them! If I remember correctly, they were the first to sign on... I admire & appreciate that.... Coz who REALLY had faith that this was gonna happen????
Maybe I'm just in a POLYANNA mood, but I like EVERONE so far... Even CELIA has improved during this single week!
And has anyone else zoned out & forgotten we're watching something ALL-NEW? I'll be sittin' there, and all of a sudden it will hit me, HOLY FREAKIN YOWSERS, my friends & family are BACK FROM THE DEAD!!!!!!

(In that sense, I can understand the blasé reaction to VICTOR's return on OLTL!)

I've been mistaking nuJR for Del all week in the opening credits. He just doesn't look like he fits as JR. We'll see how he is once he gets to start, you know, acting after JR wakes up.

Anyway, it's too excellent for words to have Vincent Irizarry back on my screen. And just how awesome is David? Awesome enough that coma patients magically come back to life just by his proximity!

David Hayward: bringing back the dead, even when he's not trying to.

Also, did anyone notice that Marissa's tombstone said 9/23/11? So are we in 2016 now? Cause in the first episode, when Pete was walking around Pine Valley, he was standing in front of a poster for Oz: The Great and Powerful. So apparently that's still popular in 2016?

Oh well. As long as the show's back, I'm happy.

I'm not sure we should think too much about what year it is. It'll just make our heads hurt.

Vincent Irizarry has been rocking the reboot. His scenes with Angie on Wednesday were just wonderful, the situation with Cara is super soapy, and the monologuing at JR's bed was fantastico.

Did anyone else catch Tad's voiceover in the recap episode? Was that old or new dialogue? It sounded familiar but I can't remember it specifically. Please, please, please bring back Tad! I am loving the nuMiranda and I really want David & Cara back together. Although I thought I missed Llanview more, this reminds me of the Pine Valley that I loved before Pratt & company destroyed it. It's great to have it back.

When the inevitable Angie/David affair occurs (mark my words) I'm gonna be torn...

oh my god, Angie/David would be so wrong in all the right ways!

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