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« The Curious Case Of...The Guy With No Name | Main | Clarity! »

May 23, 2013

Crossing All Of My Fingers For Shenanigans

I think it's fair to say that I'm not exactly super fond of Sabrina, to the point where I had a shrill moment of internal panic today when someone called me "Sabrina" (I've grown sadly accustomed to answering to other names--maybe I don't enunciate clearly enough, but more often than not, people assume that my name is Valerie, or Molly, and sometimes it's easier just to go with that, especially if the odds of my ever seeing the person again are slim, but that was just weird. "Am I annoying? Do I look all giggly and swoony and ridiculous? I mean, I WAS just reading an article about Star Trek that had a big picture of Chris PIne in it. And I WAS writing with a pink pen. Maybe I AM Sabrina-ish!") but if General Hospital plays its cards right (I know, cart, horse, etc.), she could be a part of what could go down as 2013's most hilarious story: THE ROOMMATE FROM HELL. There's some Must-Watch potential here if the writing goes the way I hope it does, and that is the hijinks-filled and wacky way.

Patrick: There's been a change of plans. You're not going to come home with me anymore.
Britt: Excuse me?
Sabrina: You'll be coming home with me instead.

Yes, Patrick FINALLY verbalized what we've all been shrieking for quit some time: that he's a dumbass and should have never offered to let Britt live with him and his traumatized daughter. He even compared her to Fantine, and that made me laugh. Sabrina decided that the best (and by "best" I mean "most hilarious for the viewers at home") course of action would be to strongarm Britt into living with her.

Sabrina: Britt, we're all thinking of your comfort. Trust me, when you get used to it, you'll be happy to be my roommate.

"This is the smug face of a woman who just won. Check and mate!"

"Bitch, I will urinate on all of your belongings."

Think of the hilarity that could come from this! I am imagining a montage of Britt doing horrible roommate things--wearing Sabrina's clothes, stealing Sabrina's money, creepily staring at Sabrina while she sleeps and I am loving every second of it. If the show broadcasts even ten seconds of the GH that plays in my head, the world will be a better place.


Other Things That Are Hilarious (Mostly Unintentionally So):

  • Was Silas trying to use his innate sex appeal to charm Sam into giving him custody of Rafe? That was one low-cut shirt!


  • Sam and Rafe's heartfelt declarations of (familial! We're not entering Lifetime Movie territory just yet) love were bizarre, weren't they?

Rafe: You guys are my family! You and Danny! Not that freak in there.
Sam: I know, we feel the same about you.

Okay, I dare anybody to name even one personality trait of Rafe's. Go ahead. I'll wait. I know that Sam's relationship with Jason set the bar pretty low in terms of human interaction and that she probably does consider a block of wood to be family, but really.

  • Tracy so beautifully verbalized the nation's disgust with Carly and AJ's tryst, to the point where I can't even offer commentary on it because how can you possibly describe perfection?

"As hard as it is to believe that any woman would want to sleep with AJ, but...I guess Carly can't be picky."

"The two of them obviously slithered together in the viscous ooze of a lonely night."

"It's only fair to use his grotesque indiscretion with Carly to make the world a better place."

I want to meet Jane Elliot and when I'm done fawning over her and hysterically telling her how talented she is, assuming that she doesn't flee screaming, politely ask her to record some particularly nasty insults on my cell phone to be used whenever the need strikes.

  • "There's no mean man here trying to take away my little boy," announced Sam to Danny because that's the sort of natural conversation one has with a baby (and she should know better! She's Sam McCall! There's almost always a mean man somewhere trying to do something to make her cry!). Cut to Mystery Guy in her living room. BOOM! IRONY!  
  • Speaking of Mystery Guy, let's all update our "Dude, he's totally Franco" checklist to include the following clues: he's good at lurking in hallways, he uses funny voices, he has a fondness for DVDs, he creates chaos (he's responsible for tainting the relish and causing the mass sickness on The Chew, which I guess one could consider to be performance art of the Francoish sort), and he really likes looking at Jason.

Like...really likes looking at Jason. Ten bucks says that picture has hearts drawn on it by the start of tomorrow's episode.


Blech. The Todd scenes in Jason's apartment with the picture was awful.

I giggled and then laughed myself into a coma at Tracy's comments about AJ and Carly. Okay, I'm out of my coma!

Here's hoping that Britta pushes Sabrina over the age and stabs the tween to death!

Sorry but the stupidest thing was a judge out of the blue giving con/prostitute/excon/hitman' s widow the child in the first place.child services would never let that happen. So the con etc. Is better parent material than a doctor that is actually related. Stupid! And I don't think tony have the imagination to make the new roomies fun,they are pretty heavy handed. So yesterday we had the shrew actually acknowledge Jake saving her kid's life and today they showed Jason.....maybe "Franco" has Jake.

Did you all notice that Sabrina has a photo of Patrick taped on the inside door of her hospital locker? LIKE SHE'S IN JUNIOR HIGH.

Have Sabrina and Patrick even gone on a date yet???

I too hope Britt makes Sabrina's life a misery as her new roommate. I want her to use all the hot water. I want her to finish the milk and then put the carton back in the fridge. I want her to leave her dirty dishes in the sink and her dirty clothes all over the floor.


I cringe when people confuse this fool on GH with Todd Manning. It's insulting on all levels. Todd's a creep, but a hell of an interesting creep. This "blond ambition" Flock of Franco is missing his nightly cover band rehearsals. Blech.

WTF with this Rafe/Sam crap? Suddenly, they're family? What?! Did I miss about all the beats of this story? This kid has been on for all of a few months and suddenly, Sam and Danny are his family? Again, I'm sorry, what? Is like, ALL of Alison's family dead? You mean to tell me no one from the Barrington clan is looking for this kid? So damn dumb.

I have no use for Sabrina OR Britt when the very much alive Robin is offscreen being tossed around from villain to villain like a real life hot potato. The fight for Patrick's peen is of little to no importance in the long run because like much of Ron's stories, it has no point and never did and once he and Robin are reunited, none of this will matter. Reason being why one should not bother investing in Ron's stories. They all start and end the same, pointless.

Some "May Sleeps" this has been.

I can't handle Franco 2.0. Thank goodness I can still see Roger Howarth's Todd on OLTL, albeit only twice a week now.

Rafe a "block of wood" - my sentiments exactly. Sorry but I find this kid so dull. The sudden insta-family I guess is a way for Sam and "Silas" to spar and sort of hide their eventual attraction to each other. Otherwise why be so vehement that this kid who has only been living w/Sam a few weeks shouldn't get to know his uncle who actually wants to take care of him. However I don't see the same chemistry yet between Silas and Sam that the actors had on PC or as McBain and Sam. Lightning may not strike a third time unless they really perk up Silas. I don't like how they seem to be throwing T.J. under the bus for this block of wood Rafe. Also Rafe is so scared to even talk to Silas because he looks like Steven, and yet wanted to live with McBain. I guess since no one is allowed to even acknowlege McBain existed they can gloss over that, but the viewers remember.

ALC, I didn't notice the photo of Patrick in Sabrina's locker. That is so funny. Anna, Flock of Franco is priceless. A tiny part of me is hoping that since the show is now hitting us over the head that Mystery Man is Franco, somehow he will turn out not to be.

Ugh. Rafe. Such a boring character. Please find him another long lost relative, preferably in Timbuktu, that he can go live with.

People in the comments call him Todd. There's no way he's Todd, nor has he been Todd since August.

Awww, I like Rafe. He's sheltered. I like how naive he is, and sort of dumb. There is a Jason like quality to him in that way.

Sabrina is hella annoying but I think that's the point since we all know Robin is still alive and so we can't actually have Patrick with someone we like!

Kevin was on today in DocShrink mode. It was perfect. Ugh, I'd forgotten how good he is at that. Can Sam go to therapy for her grief/whatever to have some JL/KM scenes since they were the best father/daughter on PC?

I find it hilarious that while Sabrina had a picture of Patrick in her locker, Patrick still has pics of him and Robin in his. Not to mention that I'm pretty sure the locker Patrick had used to be Robin's.

Is Tracy seriously going to hand over this ginormous amount of money (considering she had to ask Nik for it) for the signature of a girl that she hasn't verified is an heir? Really, Tracy? Thought you were smarter than that.

Hmmm,Franco's canvas is relish and no longer murder.Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think that's a step up from where he used to be.

..maybe "Franco" has Jake.

OMG, I hope not. Jake needs to stay really dead. Because someone needs to stay dead and I elect Jake. Because he was three years old and spoke a total of about 12 times. Really not building a show around Jake.

I must have slept thru the Guza years when Sam was a prostitute. Yeah, I do not recall it atall. That retcon where she married men for money to support her brother-hardly prostitution. Sam has had a different past life foisted on her with every writer. But she was never a prostitute and I don't recall a prison term either. She was arrested for a murder that turned out to be an accident caused by her brother. So, not an ex-con, not a prostitute, just a woman who has a kid and whose mother is pretty good at this law business. So, Sam getting temporary custody-it happens.

Love Tracy-- JE is a treasure. GH should be centered around the q= clan IMO. Love AJ, Monica and Tracy interaction...

OK--that is what I am enjoying on GH... the rest not so much...

NOOOOOO more Franco-- thought once Jason was "killed" Franco would be also "dead"...

Don't like the new ME character--

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