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« All My Profound Thanks | Main | The Day That Got Way Better »

May 06, 2013

Oh My God, He's The One Who Needs Brain Surgery

The Unbearable Dumbness of Patrick has been driving me to distraction. DISTRACTION! To be brief--and I'm only being brief because I am very much the opposite of brief on this subject in my upcoming Soap Opera Digest column--there is no earthly reason for Patrick to not be suspicious of absolutely every single thing Britt does, considering the fact that he lived out this ENTIRE story already with Lisa Niles. Every time the woman BLINKS, he should be raising an eyebrow and saying "What was that blink?! Was it code to one of your evil accomplices?! You sneezed REALLY MANIPULATIVELY just now!!"

But he's NOT and that's worrisome.

20130506_15383-vi
Sabrina: Felix and I both think that Britt told you she was gonna terminate the pregnancy in order to manipulate you into stopping her.
Britt: That is reprehensible.
Sabrina: Oh, my point exactly. Reprehensible is Dr. Westbourne's M.O.
Patrick: Sabrina, please...
Sabrina: Patrick, she was manipulating you, okay? And it worked. And now you've promised to take care of britt and the baby, but you know what? That's not enough for her. So she's gonna fake this morning sickness in order to reel you in even more and... that's working, too.
Patrick: I would say that's pretty elaborate.
Britt: 20130506_14554-vi

"Well, that was easier than I thought it would be!"

(Also, the way that she moaned and wailed loudly and ridiculously through the above conversation and the emotionless "Oh my God" she mustered when Patrick gave her her "diagnosis" of hyperemesis gravidarum were just so on point. Major kudos to Kelly Thiebaud because those were just killer moments amidst the dumbness)

Sure, he later admitted that there was a possibility that she was lying about all of this, but...

Patrick: But, frankly, I... I can't jump to the same conclusions that everyone else is jumping to.

No, you can't jump to the same conclusions as everyone else. You should have already jumped to them DAYS AGO, regardless of the fact that this could be your child (it's not) or that you're bound by the Hippocratic Oath! At the very least, you should have seriously questioned the shifty lab tech who brought you Britt's test results because he was twitching and so overly rehearsed that he might as well have handed you the results saying, "I'm pretty clearly embroiled in some bribery related shenanigans, so please just take Britt's obviously falsified test results and don't make small talk with me because I'll spill my secrets pretty quickly". HAVE YOU LEARNED ABSOLUTELY NOTHING FROM YOUR PAST MISTAKES?!

Comments

What the hell did Jason Thompson do to get stuck in this awful storyline?

I can't take Sabrina, you guys, and Felix desperately needs to get a life.

#teambritt

Poor Jason Thompson. After such stellar work after Robin's "death" and then the drug addiction story where he made me cry EVERY day with his performance, THIS. Ugh. I just can't.

Poor Jason T. The show really....well....never mind. I'll just watch OLTL.

I love JT-- so amazing with "Robin's death" but really after Lisa Niles --the character of Patrick doesn't have alittle doubt alittle gut feeling that something isn't kosher with Dr. Britt.... seriously Robin was the brains of the couple...

I want JT to have an amazing sl--which he could easily have not this garbage

I'm holding out this inane and naive hope that he's just waiting for Britt to make a mistake so he can jump to his feet and point at her face "I knew it. I KNEW you were a liar!"

Yeah yeah, I know. You don't have to say it.

Team Britta for the win! When is Dr. O and her fabulous dancing self returning to the show?

As for Patrick, pfffft,,, this guy plowed through women like a truck and he can't tell that he's being played by Britta while fairy prinwesss Sabrina rolls her eyes?

Patrick has never been the brightest peg on the Lite Brite. And he's obviously been diminished without Robin. Let him drown.

TeamBritt!

It's too bad that the actress that plays Britta is stuck in the story with Patrick and Sabrina, because she's gorgeous and could be paired with Nik, AJ, Dante, etc...

I'm sorry but that Britt face screenshot almost makes this whole storyline worthwhile.

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Website

Mallory, you hit the nail on the head. From the beginning of this storyline, Patrick has been completely clueless about awful Britt is, despite the fact that she's practically wearing a T-shirt that says "I'm a manipulative bitch controlled by my scary mother." You would think that after the whole Lisa Niles shenanigans that he would be more cautious. I've going to have to go with grief has destroyed his brain cells.

If you had told me a few months ago that would be FF through Patrick's scenes while laughing through and enjoying scenes with Carly, I would not have believed it. But there you go.

Good thing the Emmy nominations covered last year and not this stuff.

Dear Patrick:
I love you but you seriously need to STOP BEING A TOTAL STUPID FOOL.

P.S
stop dating teenage nurses

I'm obsessed with JT (he's hot, he's talented, he's Canadian - Trifecta!) but JFC I can't watch the dude now. He's so monotone and lifeless it's actually painful. I've been watching Scrubs scenes from the years I wasn't watching this dreck of a show and the conversation was so natural between him and KMc (or anyone really) that now he only seems to have chemistry with his sofa cushions.

That said, if Britt's actually pregnant, it *has* to be Patrick's. The soapy tale of him slowing falling in love with her, then Robin coming back and finding him shacked up with Faison't daughter? Genius soapy goodness. If they make this a Lante baby, stick a fork in JT.... he's done. Can't wait until Patrick hotly takes his hot head out of his hot ass and gets a bloody clue.

I hate when "dumb" is what drives the plot. Patrick is the dumbest thing on two legs.

#teamBritt I really cannot stand Sabrina. I don't care that Britt is manipulating Patrick it's the only thing saving this story from teen disney.

What in fresh hell have they done to Patrick. I can't even watch him any longer. They have him dumbed down and dating some teenage babysitter. He looks creepy.

After the amazing work he did last year, I now FF all his scenes and it makes me sad. I can't even watch Emma anymore either.

Robin please come home and save your man and child.

I love Britt and Patrick. This is such a wonderful writeup about them. :)

So funny! So nice! Love them!

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