Out of the Mouths of Babes
Because of my fondness for routine and a quite consistent temperament that usually hovers somewhere around "irritated", I'm an incredibly predictable person. This has its benefits (ordering the same thing at Starbucks every morning means that the barista gets started on my latte as soon as I walk in the door, which makes my trips efficient--and expensive, and sad when they misspell my name in a variety of humiliating ways, but that is a rant for a wordy opening paragraph in the future) and its downsides (I often worry, usually after watching a Lifetime movie or a particularly disturbing Law & Order, that my routine makes me an easy target for unsavory creepers. They'll always know where to find me!), but for the most part, it is what it is.
So I'm sure we ALL know, unequivocally, what moment on today's General Hospital made me clap my hands with glee and delight--and no, it wasn't the return of Michael Easton and his classy little ponytail; that made me laugh uproariously and say "Oh, John McBain, you are just too cute" because him playing another character is going to take a lot of getting used to because see above re: routine. No, it was Emma, paraphrasing one of my favorite soap child "quotes" of all time. OF ALL TIME!
Patrick: Britta is going to have the baby. Which means you are going to have a little brother or little sister. Isn't that great?
Emma: Witch, please.
The sass was welcome (as was Patrick being hotly bothered by his daughter's attitude, because that was all sorts of realistic. And realism is an ever dwindling commodity lately!) and is also cutting commentary on almost everything else that happened in the next sixty minutes.
The Chew crew trying (SO hard. If they hadn't exerted any effort in attempting to act, the end result wouldn't have been half as embarrassing. For me. And even THAT wasn't as embarrassing as the synchronized group vomit at the end, which is a real thing that actually happened and I sort of find amusing but also bizarre and uncomfortable) to act?
Emma says "Witch, please".
The random goon also trying SO hard to act (seriously, is there anything sadder than someone with a natural monotone really attempting to be emotional and failing? I guess group vomiting would probably count as sadder than that, but it's still pretty sad, is what I'm saying)?
Emma says "Witch, please".
Carly declaring her son to be "Michael Corinthos Jr. the 3rd"? Emma says "Witch, please".
Britt moving in with Patrick? Emma says "Witch, please" and then starts weeping.
Roger Howarth making his triumphant return to General Hospital as part of the relish saga, appearing all creepy-like in a way that fills me with dread and horror because what if he is FRANCO and I have no reason to believe that he is except that WHAT IF I'M PSYCHIC AND THAT'S ACTUALLY WHAT HAPPENS?