The Curious Case Of...The Guy With No Name
I tried (a little).
I was patient (in a way).
But the mystery of...Mystery Guy played by Roger Howarth has become officially bothersome.
Is it just me? Or is everything about this story, from Howarth's creepy stares to the soundtrack of ultra dramatic music that comes on whenever he appears on screen or the writing that is just TRYING SO FREAKING HARD that I am suffering from profound secondhand embarrassment at the very sight of it, so incredibly lame that you can literally--literally!--feel the last of your nerves fraying from irritation?
Man on Plane: Oh! Unh! I was sure that was it. I mean, your face is just --just so positive. I mean, at least I have a positive association to it. It's like a spotlight that's shining on it. It's -- it's just positive. Are you famous?
Mystery Guy: Well, that depends on what you mean by "famous."
Heather: I had no idea you were back in town.
Mystery Guy: Surprise.
Heather: Something about you looks different.
Mystery Guy: You think?
Heather: Not sure what it is. But it suits you.
Lulu: I'm sorry. Are we close?
Mystery Guy: No. Not at all.
Lulu: Well, don't be offended if I don't remember your name. Mine's Lulu, but you know that. What's yours?
Mystery Guy: [Dramatic soapy stare]
Show: HAHAHA, CUT TO COMMERCIAL, HOW DRAMATIC IS THAT? SUPER DRAMATIC. DRAMATIC TIMES TEN!
The longer we go without a big reveal, the more enraged I am going to get by cutesy near-miss exchanges like the one above. Let's just get it over with, show! Announce that Mystery Guy is actually FRANCO* and my head will explode from anger and disgust and that is one less angry blogger you'll have to listen to!
*I mean, right? I actually had a long list of clues that back up my suspicions, but the more I think about them, the less water they hold. I mean "Knows and has probably schemed with Heather" is about as non-specific as one can get, considering that one needs to merely walk by Heather in order to get roped into a scheme of hers. And "Treated Sam horribly" applies to almost everyone who has ever set foot in Port Charles--the woman has been brutalized during every sweeps period since she came to Port Charles. So I have no actual clues, just a very anxious gut feeling. But maybe he's someone else! Like the lead singer in a Flock of Seagulls cover band.