There Is No Spatula Large Enough To Lay It On This Thick
Anywhere in the world. There couldn't be!
(Okay, maybe one.)
I realize I can barely come up with anything else to say about B&B lately, but I seriously cannot get enough of hearing all these completely deluded borderline-psychotics come up with ways to defend the indefensible.
Today, we had Brooke (who is just completely insane now) revisit the gem of, "But Katie told me she wanted me to sleep with her husband! You could totally tell by the way she angrily screamed it while crying and throwing her wedding ring!"
That one's sort of her standby, but today they really had me choking on my vegetarian chili.
Brooke (to Bill, the man who basically tried to ruin Brooke's daughter's life in order to control his son's in a completely creepy manner): You're a good father.
Bill: I try.
Donna (to Bill, the man she just learned cheated on his wife, her sister, with her other sister): And a good husband.
Bill: I try there, too.
Brooke (who is standing there all weepy because she is miraculously pregnant by Bill, her sister's husband, to Bill): You are.
WHO THE FREAK ARE THESE PEOPLE KIDDING? They are hilarious! And seriously, they weren't even playing this as if, "I'm just trying to convince myself of it." All of these lines were said entirely sincerely, as if Bill is a great and wonderful man -- so wonderful that they are brought to tears by said wonder.
And then we got the best bit of all.
Bill: A lot of that has to do with Will. He's taught me how to be a better man. 'Cause a man, a real man is there for his child. My father wasn't there for me, and I wasn't there for Liam, and even though that was no fault of my own, I'm not gonna let the same thing happen with Will. Yeah. I know what you're thinking. Big bad Bill talking about his progeny. But I mean it. If you bring a child into this world, well, you better be there for him...or her, as the case may be.
Well, upon his departure this just destroyed Donna and Brooke. Because his children are important to him! And she's carrying his child! GET IT? HOW CAN SHE NOT TELL HIM?
These people kill me.
Meanwhile, Rick tried and failed to break up with Caroline. Again. This is sort of a daily thing. I still maintain that Caroline and Linsey Godfrey get the "most improved" medal on the show so far this year -- not only has her transformation made Caroline bitchier and funnier and a lot more entertaining, but now we're moving back to a more vulnerable Caroline who still has some decency. Hey! She's more than just one simple thing! And Godfrey's delivering the goods.
We do have a problem, though.
At this point, I still find all three characters in this triangle to be a million times more interesting than Hope, Liam, and Steffy, but I fear we are going down the same road. And the same road will make me lose interest in them so fast. Can Rick please not turn into a waffling douchenozzle like Liam? You can't actually just have two serious girlfriends who totally know about each other! (Or I guess you can, since Liam basically has for years.)
I fear for the next two years of our viewing lives. I do! It just feels like deja vu. Or maybe PTSD.