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« Red Letter Day, In Brief | Main | The 2013 Daytime Emmy Awards Live Blogging Extravaganza »

June 13, 2013

Not For The Faint of Heart. Or The Sighted.

I'm sorry, you guys. I have so much that I want to say--I am almost completely consumed by irritation when I watch General Hospital these days, which I'd like to write off as complete hyperbole but it's actually just a sad yet true statement about my tendency to become overly invested in ridiculous things like this incarnation of Franco and Silas's seemingly limitless supply of utter doucheitude (on the plus side, it seems like I now have a new recipient for the Ryan Lavery insults I've been stockpiling over the years!)--but I'm not going to be able to say it or anything else because this conversation happened between Patrick, who I'm assuming is suffering from some sort of undiagnosed brain injury, and the world's most childlike 27 year old (the very explicit mention of her age the other day didn't make me think "Oh, they're closer in age than I thought. So not ew!" as much as it made me think of a ridiculous and embarrassing playground game my friends and I used to play where we envisioned glamorous and successful adult futures--when we pretended to be as old as, like, fifteen. Holy maturity, right?! It's like Sabrina was playing MASH and thought "It's just a dream, but it could totally happen if I was 27!")

Patrick: Never, never, never imagined?
Sabrina: No! Well, I mean, imagined -- yeah. Maybe once or twice. But it was fleeting.
Patrick: Once or twice?
Sabrina: Yeah. It seemed presumptuous, not to mention far-fetched.
Patrick: So, does the, uh... reality live up to the fantasy?
Sabrina: Oh, well, um... I don't know. You never really know what it's gonna be like to be close to someone. I mean, at least not in my limited experience.
Patrick: You're wonderful. Yes.
Sabrina: Really?
Patrick: Caring and generous, open, and so very sexy.
Sabrina: My god, I'm blushing.
Patrick: I just want to make sure you're enjoying yourself.

I wish I could be more eloquent than this, but: ick and ew and stuff.


Are you kidding? No wonder.

I need to go curl up fetal in a hot shower for a while now.

TPTB really need to just stop with the whole Disney fairy tale princess crap now that we know suddenly SORAS'd Sabrina had lots and lots and lots of sex with her boyfriend over the course of the YEARS that the two were a couple. Sabrina moves to Port Charles because she wants more out of life that having babies, so why has she latched onto a single father with a kid? My head hurts.

Ron C. is a tool. That's the long and short of it.

I've been waiting for this post ever since reading the recaps. I could not bring myself to watch more than 5 minutes of the "drama" that occurred on my television set these past few days so I present this opinion as not completely informed and definitely biased. I don't think anything they do would ever be able to turn this disaster around but in the furthest corners of my mind, I do hope for one small thing. Even if it's only for one episode, I would love if Sabrina's backstory was presented as an alternate universe of what we've seen (been subjected to) on our screens. I just cannot escape this image I have of Sabrina's ex being a Latino equivalent of Patrick complete with bitchy ex (Brit) and small child ( make it a boy to mix it up). That when the ex met her she was Ugly Betty and then magically transformed after the "prince" realized she was everything he ever wanted. Again, this cannot erase the MONTHS of just no scenes that have graced our presence, but still, a dream is a wish your heart makes:) Sorry, couldn't resist.

I had to fast forward. It was absolutely "ick and ew and stuff." It's like a bad Lifetime movie. And let me establish that I love me some bad Lifetime movies, but usually in that "so bad I can't stop watching it" way, but this...this is just....BAD in an "I feel unclean while watching this" way.

It feels like Patrick will eventually turn out to be some deranged psychotic who lost his medical license in another state for suspicion of killing patients and is now practicing under an assumed name in Port Charles, which Sabrina will eventually find out with the help of Ellie who just LOVES to snoop in other people's files. Patrick will then attempt to kill Sabrina, but Felix will manage to stick a leg out and launch Patrick down a flight of stares, breaking his neck and killing him.

It has to have some kraptastic title. "Dr. Death and the Princess" or some other such badness.

It's sad that Ron has turned Patrick Drake into such a watered-down bore.

Patrick used to be a multi-layered, complicated, arrogant, brilliant, energetic, challenging GROWN ASS MAN.

Clearly, Ron has no idea who Patrick was and should be.
Youtube, dude. Use it.

I've decided to believe this is all a hoax. I mean really when was the last time anyone has heard an actual age thrown out by a soap character that is not under the age of 13! I am writing my own story in my head (which is more entertaining) which ends with Sabrina very far away from Patrick! On a side note Anna has been on for the last 2 days (thank god) and she just kicks ass!

You know I would have bought this whole story if Sabrina had said that yes, she was a virgin. That she was raised by a single mother who didn't want Sabrina to end up the same way, so watched her like a hawk. Perhaps the Latina equivalent of Carrie's mother, but telling Sabrina about her dirty pillows in Spanish. And then at the prom, Sabrina went crazy and burned down the high school with her telekenetic abilities which is why she moved to Port Charles.

This is obviously not going to be a popular opinion here, but I'm not as negatively disposed to Sabrina as most of the rest of you seem to be. She's not my favorite character, but within the greater scope of the story, I think she's fine. With that, let the virtual bomb-throwing commence!

@Sharon -- Everyone's got to have at least one unpopular opinion. I am not as negatively inclined toward the Franco/Kiki storylines as most people on this site, but Patrick and Sabrina make me want to claw out my own eyeballs and puncture my own eardrums. To each their own.

I have been waiting to read what you thought of their "first time". Let's forget that they had the stupidity to write it happening in Robin's bedroom but having Sabrina suddenly turn 27 was hysterical. You can't rewrite 9 months worth of story and if she is 27, she is the most immature 27 year old that I have ever seen. Forgetting how awful Sabrina is for a minute, what has happened to Patrick? The dialogue they have him spewing really makes me think that Patrick is still secretly taking drugs. That is the only thing that makes any sense!

Oh, and I agree with you. The ick factor in those scenes was off the charts. Pairing is an epic failure. They should really try Patrick with Sam. At least she's an adult.

@Marie: Oh, ick. Are you saying they had sex? The conversation quoted by Mallory was pillow talk?

GAG. They are so much like a brother and sister that the very thought is incestuous. Bleagh!

Sharon, I am with you in that I'm not that bothered by Sabrina at all. Ducking and running as I make this statement but, dare I say that I actually like Sab and Pat together. It's true. I didn't read the soap boards for ages and then decided to do so. It seems to be the general consensus that everyone hates Sabrina and I'm not sure why. OK, I'm done risking life and limb. Enjoyed the recap and love this site.

Oh, guys, nobody ever needs to apologize for having a certain opinion, even if it is unpopular here! No one here will throw bombs, I promise. Pinky swear, even!

With that being said, Sabrina's declaration that she and her ex had tons of sex made me think of Kenneth the Page on 30 Rock when he tried to seduce Angie. "I'm a real good sex person. I can do it all the different ways".

My major issue with Sabrina now that we know she's 27 freaking years old!, is that the character acted like she's a tween. Sabrina acted like she's Emma's age. Arggggh. If Sabrina had been written as a GROWN 27 year old with the glasses and frumpy clothes like Ugly Betty and was not eating up the show for over six months, then I would not have issues with the character. We now find out that the chick had a stable boyfriend until she ran into Patrick at the hospital.

I really like nerdy and brainy Ellie, who dresses appropriately for her age. Sabrina was brought on as Ugly Sabrina and we spent months believing that the Disney Princess was a teenage.

I don't mind Sabrina but I am really upset that Patrick has become some sad character on this sad. I remember the first day Patrick was on Robin found him on a gurney having sex with a nurse... One of my favorite introductions of a character all time.. Now this character has been reduced to this pillow talk.UGH... Ick...

I would hope Patrick would mature after marriage and life with Robin, but this isn't a mature relationship--

Sabrina is seriously 27!!!??? more like 17!! She is written so young..I just feel ICK when I look them together... I like Sabrina and Felix and Sabrina and Britt has become my fav ....

I would have preferred Patrick with Sam or Elizabeth-- would have added some layers...

Don't think RC/FV are committed to the character of Patrick

Oh, guys, don't ever feel like you need to apologize for your opinion! We will not throw bombs at anyone, no matter what character or couple they like. We've even had Sonny fans hang out here!

With that said, I can't think of Sabrina's declaration that she and her ex had a lot of sex without hearing Kenneth the Page in my head; remember when he tried to seduce Angie? "I'm a real good sex person. I do it all the different ways!"

Glad I have your column to read because there is no way I could sit through seeing that crap on my TV. Two months ago Sabrina was a student nurse now they expect us to believe she's 27. Seriously? Someone please get Kimberly come back, even if it's for just a few episodes, so we can get the real Patrick Drake back. The show was great up until the 50th but now it's unwatchable.

And do TPTB really expect us to see RH and KA as Franco and Kiki instead of Todd and Starr. Maybe if they weren't thrown into so many scenes together or acting the same way they did as Todd and Star I could try to get used to them as different characters. Hope they end this bad experiment soon.

I have to side with Mallory on this one ;-)

Not since Michael and his Age Inappropriate Ex Pole Dancer's love scene have I felt so squicky about a GH love scene. Just.....iiiiiick!

It's just...I just...it was like watching a brother and sister in bed together. That's all I got.

I do love me some Michael Easton, I'll admit it ;-). But YES! Even I can't deal with the "and after they inject the drug load into the baby's spine" soliloquy. Oh my gosh, really? Who? How? What??

I definitely loved the Anna Devane scenes though. It's great to see her on screen again kicking metaphorical butt and proving that young women don't have to be quite so afraid of getting older if we can be half as amazing by the time we're her age.

Great to see Tracey back on screen as well today, along with Alexis with one of the Davis girls. I either missed a few episodes wherein Kristina made her exit or they just had her permanently vanish at pentonville, which is sort of hilarious. It reminds me of when Ainsley Hayes on West Wing wandered down to the basement of the White House and just never appeared again (very old, random tv reference, but it always amused me!). Anyway, thanks for the post, was looking forward to reading what you thought of that Patrick/Sabrina scene!

I'm convinced Patrick is on drugs. I've watched his character since he arrived in Port Charles and I have no idea who this is on screen. The only explanation I can come up with for his current actions, dialogue and complete cluelessness is that he never got clean and sober.

As for Sabrina I have no idea why she is featured so heavily or given so many storylines. She's a very bland and boring soap presence.

If there was no prom....why were Molly and TJ all dressed?

Random observation and off-topic, but really...

OK frankenRon You win. I am bored out of my mind with this Stuff.When I am not actually just gagging. I like Patrick, and I would like Sabrina if she developed a brain, a small one not a real big one. Just enough to see through Britt without Felix. The whole talk should have happened long ago .Patrick is a doctor, married to a hiv wife.she is a nurse. I had my back to the TV, and was on the computer so I guess I missed some. hate the unholy three, now including FrankenTodd in that group, So I watch with one eye closed and brain disengaged, just like the writers. GMAB. ewe says it all.

it was soo disturbing and ugh nasty I fast forwarded throughout most of it and haven't watched GH in like 5 days. it was that horrible to watch. I used to love (and sometimes disliked) Patrick and his complex personality. but as great an actor as Jason is, this stupidity they have him doing with that teenager and yeah I know they made it known she's "27" (even though she CLEARLY doesn't act her age EVER) it's just wrong. and to add insult to injury have them doing it in Robin's bed was beyond insulting. I can't watch GH anymore. kimberly isn't coming back and well I like Jason a lot but I can't watch his storyline at all. It hurts my eyes and I just..I can't.

I hope RC has a twist in mind that fairy tale princess Sabrina left behind an ex that "mysteriously" died before she left town, and the woman is really a Black Widow. Please?!

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