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« Phat Tuesday | Main | Betty Friedan Would Be So Proud »

June 04, 2013

Physician, Heal Thyself

I can't be the only one who laughed out loud, for a long time, and started to laugh again at the very memory of it, when Dr. Silas Clay peered over the rims of his glasses and told Sam to:

Silas: Unclench, lady.

This was and continues to be hilarious for a number of reasons. Like--and I know this is just Michael Easton's voice, which continues to be one of my favorite things--everything the man says is gravely serious and any lighthearted cuteness is delivered in the form of stern admonition.  So him telling anybody to be less tightly wound is amusing.

And also, Sam's "clenching" came about because he decided to just up and give her child and impromptu medical examination in the rudest way possible.

Silas: I'm examining your son.
Sam: Excuse me?
Silas: There's something wrong with him.


"Bitch, I just diagnosed your kid with an illness through osmosis and you're STILL copping an attitude?!"

And also also, the ponytail. Hee.

Oh, the diagnosis, by the way? CANCER. He made a shocking diagnosis at the end of the episode after spending approximately 74 seconds with this (just beyond adorable) baby and then--literally. Seriously, this happened--turned around and left the room.

Sam: You're going to be just fine.
Silas, with a pretty extreme combination of condescension and irritation, which is to say that he was totally unclenched: I hope you didn't mean that. Lying to yourself is one thing, but don't tell that little boy he's okay, because he's not.
Sam: Are you stalking me?
Silas: No, relax. I just want to make sure you got Danny checked out.
Sam: For your information, I did. I got bloodwork done and the results will be in tomorrow.
Silas: These people didn't tell you what he's got?
Sam: No, they said it could be a few different things.
Silas: No, Sam. It's not "a few different things". It's just one thing.
Sam: Really? What's that.
Silas: It's cancer.
Sam: [Stares, shocked and horrified]
Silas: [Thinks "Well, I've put in a pretty long day here, so..." and leaves. LEAVES. Just turns and shrugs and exits after giving someone life-altering information with absolutely no proof or medical evidence. No comforting words or even a half-hearted "There, there" from across the room. Nothing]
Sam: [Thinks "My life is the fucking worst" because REALLY, her life is awful]

It's some pretty impressive bedside manner, is all I'm saying.

(Also, is it safe to say that this is the start of an unbearably sad medical storyline in which, after numerous close calls and many tears shed on my end, Franco winds up having the exact blood type or other genetic material to save Danny's life and everybody starts to wonder "Hey, I wonder if I didn't misjudge this guy. What's a few murders and sexual assaults? We've all made mistakes. But he clearly likes babies and that makes me like him!"? Eff.)


Yes. That is exactly what is going to happen.

It is definitely what's going to happen. But I gotta admit, I mind Franco on my screen much less than the sheer hatred that goes through me when Sileas and his condescending attitude is on. As someone with a multitude of health problems, the same symptoms ARE shared with many different diseases. There has to be tests. And to deliver that news and then walk away...I just...I like Michael Easton but this character sucks.

Let's see, FrakenTodd will save Danny's life (RME).

This is the first episode where I've really loved Silas. He's just an unmitigated assbutt and it's great. As long as nobody tries to tell me that's romantic or anything, I'll keep loving it.

Or will it be Sam's dad who has the match? Isn't he supposed to surface sometime soon?

Yep. That's exactly what will happen. Hopefully after Rafe is tragically killed in a thresher accident. Oh, and I have another theory (that admittedly, most of you have already thought of) Britt is carrying one of Dante and Lulu's embryos. That way Patrick is not stuck with another child, Maxie gets to keep her baby and Dante and Lulu get theirs. Bow? Neatly tied.

Can it be Sabrina instead of Rafe?? At least he acts his age!! Yesterday's episode was awful and from what I've read in spoilers its only getting more ridiculous. Patrick barely knows Sabrina and they are moving along with their supposed relationship. I would not even want her with him if Robin was dead! AND now they have Maxie pushing them together and invoking Robin's approval!!

I don't know who thought this was a great storyline but it isn't. It was cute at first but has gone down hill since Britta threw herself at Patrick. JT deserves sooo much better than this...he is EMMY NOMINATED now (hopefully wins), why is his character being used like this?? I dont get it. Makes me sad that I was happy this storyline was not on these past few days! Thank G-d for YouTube, where I can live in Scrubs heaven....

@Lisa, regarding Rafe, from your keyboard to Carlivati's ears....!

Patrick always seems to have wandered in from a different show when he enters a scene w/Sabrina. Like he suddenly got plopped into the middle of a teen show and isn't quite sure what he's doing there. Or at least that's what I imagine Jason Thompson to be thinking.

They better jazz up Silas quick. I know characters need time to be built but think of how smoking Sam and McBain were from the get-go and I don't even like Sam most of the time, but so far (IMHO) this seems to be laying somewhat of an egg. At least there are moments of unintentional (I think) hilarity with his attitude. And that ponytail.

Mallory, I love you! I just knew you would chronicle Silas the Raging Douchebag! Does he really have to be an arrogant douchebag? Really? There were no other options at all?

On a similar note, Kiki. Does she really have to be so annoying? And a Q, at that? I can't take more than 2 minutes of her and I'm ready to slam my head into a wall.

I keep hoping last week and this week will turn out to be a dream...

I just CAN'T with the Patrick/Sabrina/Britt/Felix storyline. First, Patrick looks like he is being forced to kiss his sister whenever he kisses Sabrina. Second, that scene yesterday...when Felix comes home to find Britt...are we really supposed to believe not even a day has passed between the time Patrick/Sabrina agreed to have Britt move in and that scene? So little time that Sabrina hasn't had time to drop Felix a text message about her moving in? That is just ridiculous. I can suspend my disbelief about vampires and people coming back from the dead, but simple human interactions need to be grounded in some sort of realism. This storyline is all so contrived it HURTS.

McBain - uh, I mean Silas - should have either forsworn the ponytail altogether, or at least waited until it got long enough to....flop down. Because right now it looks like he's got something poking out of the back of his head that Lord Lavery of the Douche of AMC fame usually kept packed with a pair or two of socks down the front of his Care Bear thong... McBain - I mean, Silas - is now just much a literal D#$kHead as a figurative one.

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