I Cringe At The Thought Of This Child's Future Therapy Bills
It seemed impossible that anybody, let alone another baby, could possibly compete with His Royal Highness, The Baby of Cambridge, for my attention today (I'm very excited about the royal baby. That's not sad, is it? And if it is sad, it's just a little sad, right? He's the future King! And I do so enjoy Duchess Kate and her shiny, shiny hair and pretty wardrobe--a wardrobe, might I add, that contains a handful of outfits very similar to some of mine and I wore them first. I'm sorry, I just have to include that brag whenever I can) but HRH The Prince of Morgan did it without saying a word.
Have you ever seen a baby so perfectly convey utter weariness at being caught in life or death situations? "All right. Toss me off of a bridge. That's fine. I'm only going to end up in mortal peril again in about a week if you don't, so we might as well just do this."
And there was his award-winning pain during Roger Howarth as James Franco as Franco and Roger Howarth as Steve Burton as Jason with a brain tumor's conversation about their inner monstrousness.
Franco's Hallucination Of Franco: Jason, stop. It's time for you to face the truth. This sickness isn't just in me. It's in you, too. It's in our blood and now it's in the blood of my little nephew. We're killers. That's what we do. Some families are good at music. We get this. You and me and Heather...you should be grateful that Jake never survived.
Franco Who Thinks He's Jason: Shut your mouth.
Franco's Figment Of Freaky Franco: Because he didn't have to turn out like us. But Danny could. You need to end this cycle of pain and misery, Jason, before more people that you love die.
Franco Who Thinks He's Jason: But I love Danny.
Franco, Franco, ACK!: Well, of course you do. That's why it's called a sacrifice. One that I'm sure you're willing to make.
He's not picking his nose--he's trying to impale his brain with his little finger, to end his suffering once and for all. Did you not shed a tear? Do you not want to hug and cuddle him and tell him everything is mostly going to be okay or that it's going to be as okay as life for a human being in Port Charles could possibly be and on the bright side, a lot of kidnappings--and even shootings!--in this town wind up being non-fatal, so at least there is that.
It goes without saying that Roger Howarth did a pretty excellent job playing Franco (as played by JameS Franco) and Jason (as played by Steve Burton)--he has their mannerisms down and was blank-faced and robotic when he needed to be and wholly terrifying when the script called for it.
Scary Franco, Yikes: You need to end him and then come down with us.
I screamed. Did anyone else scream? Because all of a sudden I was transported back to seventh grade and reading IT over the summer and it reminded me so clearly of "We all float down here" and even reminiscing through typing is causing my blood to run cold and now I'm pretty sure that there is an evil clown lurking outside my window.
In other news: Morgan and Kiki are engaged and terrible and Michael is going to have a rebound fling with a girl who is such a bad actress that I'm reasonably sure that she won a contest, both of which are quite nearly as horrible as everything noted above.