In Which I May Be Inspired To Write A Formal Letter Of Complaint
You know how you are always told to ease into criticism by paying a compliment first, so as to soften the blow? Let's try that.
Laura Wright's hair is fantastic and she is so, so pretty.
It's not that Carly has ever been a particularly well-dressed character; quite the contrary, a trip through our archives proves that she's always dressed like someone who...well, like someone who has a visual impairment, way over-inflated self esteem and a seemingly limitless gift card to Mandee. So this is continuity and in character and all that, but it doesn't make it any less upsetting for me to have to look at it. I have so many jokes I want to make about it. I halfway came up with a really clever Princess Jasmine quote and have the beginnings of an allusion to Scarlett O'Hara's curtains. I promise, when my brain actually starts to function again, these jokes are going to be sooooo good, I promise!
Obviously this incident made it near impossible for me to pay complete attention to the rest of the show, but I will say that I have to give some props to Michael and Kiki. Not Michael and Kiki as a couple, because that's just disgusting. No, I mean Michael and Kiki as two distinct characters who can say so much with a mere facial expression.
Thinking the words "I hear that, Kiki" makes me profoundly uncomfortable and upset with many things about my life, but she's right! Watching Ava and Franco kiss is so gross that I can't even think of a way to describe it except "UM, yuck" and I was hoping to come up with a phrase pithier than that because I feel like I'm going to be saying it often and who wants a catchphrase so lame? Anyway, you go girl, using every muscle in your face to convey your grossed-outedness.
And nobody conveys "...fuck this godforsaken life" better than Chad Duell.
His spit-take upon hearing that AJ and Carly slept together was the best thing I've seen since...AJ did a spit-take upon hearing that Michael and Brenda "slept together". Genetics, amirite? But for real, I loved this:
AJ: The truth is, you're not just my son. You're pretty much the only friend I have.
Michael: You got Elizabeth, right?
AJ: Not anymore. The truth of the matter is my relationship with Elizabeth might be over before it ever started.
Michael: Why, what happened?
AJ: She found out I slept with your mother.
Michael: [EPIC SPIT-TAKE] I'm sorry, you did what with my mom?
AJ: That's rhetorical, right?
Michael: Yeah, that's rhetorical
AJ: You and I have definitely got to stop discussing our sex lives while drinking water.
Michael: I can't believe this. You slept with my mom!
AJ: Hey, look on the bright side. You're not thinking about Kiki right now, are you? You're not mad, are you?
Michael: I thought you and my mom hated each other.
AJ: Oh, we do, with a passion. It was just one of those crazy nights.
Michael: So you can't stand each other, but you sleep together?
AJ: Uh, at least she's not my first cousin. Too soon?