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« On Paternity Scandals. And Hats. Evil Hats. | Main | Fireworks and Other Explosions »

July 01, 2013

In Which I May Be Inspired To Write A Formal Letter Of Complaint

You know how you are always told to ease into criticism by paying a compliment first, so as to soften the blow? Let's try that.

Laura Wright's hair is fantastic and she is so, so pretty.

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With that out of the way, what fresh hell is this?

20130701_152311-vi 20130701_15239-vi

It's not that Carly has ever been a particularly well-dressed character; quite the contrary, a trip through our archives proves that she's always dressed like someone who...well, like someone who has a visual impairment, way over-inflated self esteem and a seemingly limitless gift card to Mandee. So this is continuity and in character and all that, but it doesn't make it any less upsetting for me to have to look at it. I have so many jokes I want to make about it. I halfway came up with a really clever Princess Jasmine quote and have the beginnings of an allusion to Scarlett O'Hara's curtains. I promise, when my brain actually starts to function again, these jokes are going to be sooooo good, I promise!

Obviously this incident made it near impossible for me to pay complete attention to the rest of the show, but I will say that I have to give some props to Michael and Kiki. Not Michael and Kiki as a couple, because that's just disgusting. No, I mean Michael and Kiki as two distinct characters who can say so much with a mere facial expression.

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Thinking the words "I hear that, Kiki" makes me profoundly uncomfortable and upset with many things about my life, but she's right! Watching Ava and Franco kiss is so gross that I can't even think of a way to describe it except "UM, yuck" and I was hoping to come up with a phrase pithier than that because I feel like I'm going to be saying it often and who wants a catchphrase so lame? Anyway, you go girl, using every muscle in your face to convey your grossed-outedness.

And nobody conveys "...fuck this godforsaken life" better than Chad Duell.

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His spit-take upon hearing that AJ and Carly slept together was the best thing I've seen since...AJ did a spit-take upon hearing that Michael and Brenda "slept together". Genetics, amirite? But for real, I loved this:

AJ: The truth is, you're not just my son. You're pretty much the only friend I have.
Michael: You got Elizabeth, right?
AJ: Not anymore. The truth of the matter is my relationship with Elizabeth might be over before it ever started.
Michael: Why, what happened?
AJ: She found out I slept with your mother.
Michael: [EPIC SPIT-TAKE] I'm sorry, you did what with my mom?
AJ: That's rhetorical, right?
Michael: Yeah, that's rhetorical
AJ: You and I have definitely got to stop discussing our sex lives while drinking water.
Michael: I can't believe this. You slept with my mom!
AJ: Hey, look on the bright side. You're not thinking about Kiki right now, are you? You're not mad, are you?
Michael: I thought you and my mom hated each other.
AJ: Oh, we do, with a passion. It was just one of those crazy nights.
Michael: So you can't stand each other, but you sleep together?
AJ: Uh, at least she's not my first cousin. Too soon?

Hee!

Comments

The AJ Michael conversation makes me want to watch GH tonight. I'm one of the lucky people who still have SoapNet, so I may tape it just for that.

AJ and Michael were so funny! I watched the show a second time because of their scenes,
AJ gave yellow roses to Liz. I want to marry him and have his babies.

AJ and Michael cracked me up. I love them! Pretty much the only thing I love about the show right now.

Now we're talking romance! AJ should have kicked it into high gear while he was in the city with Liz!

WTF was Carly wearing the last two days? Jeez.

What's up with the cracks about AJ not working out at the gym?

Laura Wright said she thought that dress was fun. I hope she was being sarcastic

I adore Michael and AJ together. Yep. I said it, there you go. There are no words for Carly's dress. Just...other than she better hope no big gust of wind blows up behind her.

I saw Luke leaving Tracy behind that way from a mile away. You would have thought Tracy would have suspected it when he gave in.

Liked the little family scene with Lulu/Nik/Laura.

so sick about every one talking about Carly's hair!! she rich can afford to paid for it! hehe :) i must admit it is a nice cut ! just anther reason not to like her !

Don't forget that little dig Michael made about never seeing AJ @ the gym. The look AJ gave him was great. I love those two together.

I loved AJ & Michael. And while Luke's departure was predictable, Jane Elliot is just such a gem that she totally sold me on those scenes. I adore her and I am so pleased that -- despite rightful criticisms of the new regime -- there are at least two Qs who get to be front & center.

Kiki's expression doesn't even do justice to my disgust with Frava and their endless screen time. Mostly I hate the Ava half of that duo, because of my soft spot for RH. I love unique characters and Ava just seems like a stock soap opera villainess.

I find myself fixated on Ava's mouth, so when she's speaking, I don't hear half of what she's saying. Her.....LIPS. Every word is enunciated so ODDLY with her...LIPS. And there's some kind of bad plastic surgery thing...and just...HER LIPS! So when those bizarre fleshy things go near the mouth of my beloved RH......

Yes, Kiki. I FEEL THE SAME WAY. You go girl.

As for Carly's outfit...my daughter had this toy back in the 90's called a Sky Dancer. It was a little plastic fairy that you put on this contraption, pulled a string, and it would spin up in the air off the little contraption and the wings would expand out and she'd fly. I kept envisioning this toy when looking at the back of Carly's...top? Like those flaps would just lift up and spin her away to a land of rainbows and unicorns. WEIRDNESS.

AJ, and AJ with Michael or Elizabeth, are the best things about this show right now.

I am a AJ mfan have always liked him,SK and of course BW was my fav.If he had been the one to return and finally get his revenge on Sonny,now that would have been perfect. Kiki makes the worst faces.I don't even dislike her.I do not like the way they OL actors have eaten the show. Carley I hate with the fire of a thousand suns.Love the dress made her look like an idiot..Maybe the people who dress her,don't like her either..I also like the fact that Michael is a grownup and when he and Sean interact you could think that they are father and son. The only thing that is wrong with the show is, they brought back the vets which in turn brought back the viewers, we never see them which makes me DVR and FF something I hadn't been doing for a while.I do not watch the mob, or Francotodd. everything else I can at least scan.

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