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« In Which I May Be Inspired To Write A Formal Letter Of Complaint | Main | It Really Is A Small World After All! »

July 07, 2013

Fireworks and Other Explosions

While I was fast-forwarding General Hospital (don't worry, I had already watched it once. It wasn't one of those episodes that I fast-forward through just to get to the last five minutes and make up dialogue in my head for the super speedy action that usually, if I am being honest, corresponds pretty well to what happens onscreen. It's not like that's a real skill, since so much of this show is repetitive. My real skill lies in the totally hilarious meathead impression of Morgan I do, not to toot my own horn or anything. Where was I? And how did this parentheses get so long? Oh, right, fast-forwarding: If I HAD been fast-forwarding just to get to the end of the show, the joke would have been on me since the episode ended with Olivia and Sonny in a liplock, which I think we can all agree is wrong and off-putting and a lot of other words that will come later in this entry. It wasn't exactly the "Have a good weekend!" note I wanted to end on!), I yelped at the sight of AJ and Elizabeth for obvious "Cuteness, yay!" reasons and because at superspeed, Sean Kanan's resemblance to Steve Burton is even more noticeable.


It was REALLY weird. Like, how did I miss a big-name return like that and how did I miss it the first time I watched the show?! But, no, the kiss that actually did occur without a back from the dead hitman was so cute and adorable that I clapped my hands a little. Aww!

It was nice to celebrate something, since much of the show was...angry-making.

Shawn: Look, my job is protection and security.
Alexis: So, in order to protect and secure Sonny, sometimes you may have to take a life? And not because it's self-defense, but as a matter of strategy.
Shawn: It's not about killing, Alexis. It's about keeping people safe by any means necessary.

Like...by killing?

Shawn: Look, maybe it's the risk -- the life-and-deathness of it. Maybe I got addicted to the adrenaline, to the -- to the fight-or-flight instinct when i was in Afghanistan or later when I worked for the Balkan. Hell, I don't know. Maybe I just like the way Sonny thinks--

Oh god, does he have a brain tumor? Is that it? Is this the start of a brain tumor story? Because a patently insane comment like that seems to be a huge indicator that something isn' t right, healthwise--

Shawn: --how he takes, you know -- he takes things into his own hands.

And throws it violently across the room? I am not following any of this and I almost wish there had just been a crawl at the bottom of the screen saying "Since Jason is dead, Sonny needs a new yes-man who will kill on command and everybody else is kind of wrapped up in storylines. Shawn's just floating around kind of uselessly though, so...now he kills people for money. Thank you for your time. Don't forget to stick around for Katie at 3PM!" because these rationalizations are just bizarre. "I don't kill people because I'm into it, I kill people so that people stay safe. Except for the people I kill, obviously."

All of the above complaining will never be mentioned again if Shawn takes a hit out on Kiki, though, and puts an end to the most shoddily constructed star-crossed lovers stories in recent memory. I mean, really, Michael and KIki's sad faces are so obnoxious. "Woe is me, I have it bad for my cousin". "My life is so unfair. My boyfriend's brother is the man of my dreams but we share genetic material. Why is God so cruel?!" Maybe I'd feel more sympathy for them if they've interacted for more than like eight minutes.


Yes, the world is so unfair for keeping you apart! You're barely even acquaintances and as far as I can tell, Kiki has exactly zero appealing characteristics, which makes this even less sad. Jesus, Michael, just sign up for OKCupid, say that you are looking for someone not related to you and MOVE ON.

Speaking of moving on...move on, Olivia. Move out of town. You've been SHOT. Your cousin has been SHOT. Your son has been SHOT. And I know you're not particularly concerned with the fact that it was Sonny who shot him (IN THE CHEST!) because he didn't know Dante was his son and he felt, like, really bad after that, but the point remains that even if you ignore the glaring and horrifying fact that Sonny shot your son, your ENTIRE FAMILY HAS BEEN SHOT IN THIS TOWN BECAUSE OF MOB VIOLENCE! And not only do you NOT SKIP TOWN and run away to a SAFE SUBURB OR EVEN A LESS DANGEROUS CITY, you find yourself MAKING OUT with the town's resident mobster who was involved IN ALL OF THOSE SHOOTINGS?!


When she gets shot again, are we all supposed to be sad during the scenes where everyone has vigils at her bedside? Because I'm calling it right now, I won't be and I'll prove it to you when this scenario comes true around October and my face is cold and my heart is black.


Olivia has also been stabbed and left to burn to death in Sonny's office. It's insane even on a soap that the mob has nearly killed her far more times than cray cray Heather!

The whole kissing cousins mess is just plain annoying, and when I remember the last cute sweet kid who played Morgan singing ABC w/ Molly I loathe the oaf they turned him into, i mean how about a good smart sorasd Morgan who still misses Jax and wants to live a straight life? This Dufus is like Carlivati's Ford Bros from OLTL, but not even as cute ;(

And Britt w/ Nikolas?!?!?!? Super evil families united, ugh.

And no matter how many members of Olivia's family gets shot, or who, or how, or how often, she is still one of the dullest characters onscreen EVER. And pairing her with Orange Glow now makes her one of the stupidest ever, and she was close to that to begin with.

Between her and Sonny, Creeki and FrankenTodd, Snidely McBain and Borgan I'm done for a while.

And if the best they can do for Alexis is a HITMAN who is bored, then.....

a roomful of monkeys with computers could come up with better stuff than we're stuck with right now.

Britt will rule Wyndamere. She's the mistress the castle has needed for so long. She will be Nik's perfect partner. Britt and Nik come from evil families but they're not evil. Nik hasn't had a good romance since Gia.

Team Britta all the way if it keeps Liz from being shackled with the idiotic Prince!

Liz, AJ and Aiden looked adorable.

Ugh. TIIC had a chance to send Connie & Olivia both out of town are kill them both in a mob related hit gone bad.

Kiki, Michael and Morgan are so, lame. Kiki aka Starr Manning have barely spent 10 minutes with each other and their now hot to trot? Boo!

HA! Nik wants to drive Elizabeth nuts? Then having him be around Britt, a woman she actively loathes should do the trick. Quiz is nice. But I think that long term GH will be thinking Nik/Liz and AJ/Carly. Sure Liz is giving him another chance. But she still hasn't even begun to really deal with her strong emotions for Nik. Just because she says that nothing is there, doesn't make it true.

Olivia? Is a freaking moron. And she ain't getting one bit of sympathy from me when her next family member is shot/kidnapped/harmed due to Sonny.

And Emma? I actually want to smack the hell out of Patrick for allowing his kid to get away with her behaviors. Emma has been having major issues with all things Britt and baby. Why the hell he(a doctor) hasn't at talked to Liz and Anna about the behavior or at least think about having one of the child psychologists at GH start talking with Emma. Granted that would mean that would mean that Patrick would be forced to a couple of scenes without Sabrina. Liz would be in a perfect position to talk about single parenting and dating. She is starting to see AJ and has her two boys. Emma has lost her beloved mother and has formed an instant attachment to another female and is heavily invested in having her father be with this new person. And when he wanted to see a woman Emma didn't like, she ran away and just was bratty and pretty hateful. Yeah, Britt doesn't have a lot of child experience, but I don't think that it mattered whom Patrick wanted to see. Emma has fixated on Sabrina being her dad's new partner. And that is just plain odd and worrisome to me. Why the hell Patrick, Mac, Felicia, Anna, Maxie and even Elizabeth or Felix hasn't voiced some concern over that fact is stupid. Patrick dated plenty of women before settling down with Robin. And can anyone who knows Patrick realistically believe that Sabrina(the pretty, pretty fairy Princess of Port Charles) is going to be his next bride?

They desperately need another young 20s woman (aside from the dreadful, SORASed? Sabrina) for Michael. I love Michael. I love that he's embraced his Q-ness. I even like him with Carly (I like nothing to do with Sonny ever). But I really have no use for KA, and the gross factor -- even if they're thinking about retconning Kiki's parentage (not a spoiler, just a note because they seem to be pushing this hard) -- is out of control.
But I adore AJ & Liz. I don't hate Nicholas and I kinda of enjoy Brit, so I'm cool with seeing where that's going. I'm looking forward to the Lulu/Maxie/Spinelli fallout. It's enough to keep me watching & fast-forwarding. (And I still stand by my past statements about not loathing this iteration of Franco - I don't love it, but I don't loathe it. But I'd rather watch RH read a phone book than Sabrina or Sonny do anything, so...)

Oh! And if I can't have them written off the show, I am actually on board with Sonny-Olivia hook up, because I don't want them bringing down any characters that I actually like. And the fast forward button is my friend.

I can't say I hate Michael and Kiki's storyline except it does make me nervous that they're planning to retcon Michael's parentage, which if it happened would turn me all crazy soap fan in a heartbeat.

I'm even liking RH as Franco, although his very personality is one of the more blatant retcons I've ever seen on a soap (and I watched DAYS in the mid-'90s, so that's saying something!). But the Guza years are a distant unpleasant blur for me now so I think I can live with it, as much as I would have preferred the rumor that RH was a new Cassadine or Quartermaine character to be true.

Finally, great points about Olivia and Sonny. It's weird seeing Alexis have all the concern and anxiety over Shawn that Olivia should be having over Sonny.

Olivia could have moved in with Kate/Connie and used a temporary nurse, instead of moving in with Sonny. Olivia knows how hard Connie is working to maintain her mental health, so the old harpy moves in with her cousin's ex? How long before Connie goes off the rails and starts killing half of the town? On second thoughts, Connie should shoot Sonny, Olivia, Sabrina, etc...!

While some might see Emma as bratty, I see a smart little girl who is still grieving for her mother. And has everyone forgotten Britt actually told Emma I don't like you, and when I'm with your Daddy, we'll send you away or something like that. Why would anyone expect a kid to act any differently?

I'm with you Em--the benefit of Sonny & Olivia together means I can fast forward them both and not miss a thing.

Unlike many posters here and elsewhere, I like Nicholas, and I like him with Liz. It's time she stops beating herself up over the wreckage that was Lucky. Screw him and his selfish, deadbeat dad feelings.

I also don't hate Kiki and Michael. And I can't explain why that is. As for Morgan, you can't compare a 19 (is that how old they've made him?) year old to the sweet kid he was before his family shipped him (and only him) away to "keep him safe." Most kids would have negative reactions to that type of rejection, and rebel in the worst possible way (which is certainly what he's doing).

You left out the BBQBaby!


I practically did a spit take while drinking my coffee when I read that OK Cupid line. That was excellent. I really hate this Michael/Kiki story. Thanks for making something good come out of it.

I think Emma's behavior is perfectly realistic in light of how Britt has talked to and treated her. As for who he dates, as a father his child comes first and I would think less of him if he discounted his daughter's feelings AND how she is treated by the woman. Speaking of Britt, how did she get to be a doctor if she's going to freak out like that over a wet doll? Gah. She's certainly not maternal.

Liz/AJ/Aidan, all sorts of adorable. SK was so good with Aidan and while I know they're going to push Niz, I would rather have Quiz. I'd like AJ to have a chance to have a family and a good woman.

Did anyone else notice they were playing Liz and Jason's theme song in the background during the fireworks???

Also I loved the baby doll toss and burn. I'm really starting to like Britt.

I noticed it, too, Dr Kim.

The baby doll incident was EVERYTHING!!!

Elizabeth, AJ, and Aiden were completely adorable.

I have to say, it is interesting seeing Olivia and Sonny starting up vs. the classic epis on Soapnet right now with Dante having just been shot by Sonny. And by "interesting," I mean "horrible." Olivia should've left town in 2009. I have no idea why she's still here, but here she remains, pining over Sonny after all this time. I cannot with this woman and never could. Not to mention Sonny was just so totally in love forevah with her cousin.

ABC owns the Liason song and has played it on OLTL & GH.

I don't even think Sonny was very sorry he shot Dante, even. I seriously hope the next bullet shoots Olivia dead because I'd rather that than her be with Sonny. I don't even hate Sonny THAT much, but those two characters should not be together.

Emma's behavior would probably be the same to any woman Patrick wanted to date, outside of Sabrina. Which is my point. Britt's own awful(but limited) interactions with Emma aren't good excuses for Emma's reactions. The whole BBQ baby doll was just stupid. Britt is supposed to be a doctor and a grown ass woman. Peeing dolls have been around for decades, so I find it ridiculous that Britt didn't know a mess was coming. This little girl is missing her mother. But in a completely unhealthy way she seems to be replacing Robin with Sabrina. And why the hell Mac, Anna, Liz and Maxie hasn't picked up on this is beyond me. And I'm not saying that Patrick doesn't need to consider Emma's feelings about him dating. I'm saying that Patrick shouldn't even be introducing Emma to ANY woman he is just starting to see. Too much can happen and feelings can get hurt.(date falls for the kid or vice versa and then a break/cool down with the parent happens, etc.) Robin cannot comeback soon enough for me!

But stlbf, Emma met Sabrina long before Patrick started dating her. I am no fan of Sabrina and certainly not of Patrick and Sabrina, but I find no fault with Emma's behavior at all. Britt was a "witch" to her face--she tried to be nice and all she got was a burned doll. She's worried about a new baby (what older sibling doesn't feel jealous when their parents have a new baby?)

I think the better story would have been to have Elizabeth and Patrick in a relationship, and for us not to know Robin is alive. I've somehow managed to block out Sabrina when she's onscreen with Patrick, and am patiently waiting for Robin to return.

And Emma has been around Liz and has not acted out in any way. Only with Britt. Children and animals can sense when a person is...oh I hestitate to say evil but...not such a nice person and they react to those feelings.

As for women Patrick is dating, we don't know how Emma would react to them since he jumped from Robin to Britt to Sabrina. But if you recall, she didn't react well to Sabrina at first either, Sabrina won her over.

Lucy D., I'm not saying Emma is horrible and evil or anything, but she wasn't trying to be nice to Britt by letting her hold the doll. Sabrina told Emma to show Britt her doll and let her see how she does everything a real doll does. Sabrina basically told Emma to let her doll "urinate" on Britt, complete with an arch of her eyebrow.

I already hate Sabrina for being insipid, but I don't think that would have endeared her to me were I neutral. Teaching a kid to get revenge isn't healthy. She's not your best friend, Sabrina, she's your boyfriend's kid. Please try to act like an adult! Oh well, just another thing to hate about her.

I am shocked that the babydollgate incident was not mentioned. I was literally laughing for about five minutes. It was so convoluted that all of those events would correspond together. For the fire to magically appear when the doll was thrown onto the bbq pit was pretty outrageous.

I feel that it was just another move by the writers to vilify Britt. For the past month or two she has not done much except for the DNA thing which was mostly her mother and scheme with Brad. So they had to do something else to let the audience know that she is supposed to be bad and we are supposed to hate her. We understand it. Sabrina is good. Britt is bad.

I certainly am not a Britt apologist. I know that she had done some horrible things. What she said to Emma last winter was unwarranted. Having to get pregnant to trap Patrick is also not cool along with her trying to get Sabrina to fail nursing school. It's getting to the point where it's turning into a cartoon. I certainly have a soft spot for the edgy and anti-hero(ine) type of characters. Really in the scheme of things she's quite low on the list. People have done far worse on this show.

What grates my nerves about this storyline is a couple of things. First this seems like a very sexist move to make Britt into the villain while Patrick is the innocent victim. Both made a choice to have unprotected sex. Patrick, whose late wife was HIV+, should know the risks. He also chose to have sex with a woman that he barely knew. None of the supposed "good guys" have mentioned this at all. Also he is being characterized as some innocent dupe who had no history of womanizing. We all know that when he started out here he was a manwhore. Also no one is mentioning Lisa Niles. I would have thought that it would have been used for the characters to bash Britt by comparing her to Lisa. I would have loved to see it used as evidence that Patrick does not have a good track record with women.

I do applaud that we are getting a sense of the emotional abuse that Britt had to deal with growing up. She emotionally stunted, having never felt parental love. She does not understand it. From what we were told during the Nurse's Ball episodes, Britt's mother tried a lot of things to get Ceasar to want her. I can see Britt modeling her behavior. We can see that she just needs to understand what love is and how you love. I would like to see Britt strike a friendship with Nikolas. Hopefully this leads to something positive for her. We might even see Patrick's true colors come out. (I can certainly see him become jealous over another man with Britt.)

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