The Not So Secret Keeper
Look, I get it--Derek Wells is dreamy. And you probably thought to yourself "Oh, gosh, I always forget how freaking handsome he is. What can I do to extend this conversation?! I need to keep getting lost in his eyes!" but for the love of, Alexis, your daughter is a private investigator. Private is, explicitly, part of her job title! So I'm not sure why you decided to prattle on, at hyperspeed, about her paternity, her investigative work and, oh yeah, her theory about the long-hidden secrets of a powerful crime family, but you did. And then, to add insult to injury, you didn't even find it remotely suspicious that the normally suave Derek kept laughing nervously and asked about six dozen probing questions. Not only were you not suspicious, but you blithely answered all of those questions and didn't even ask why he was all high pitched and sweaty all of a sudden!
Derek, trying to appear calm and collected: Speaking as a publisher...are you sure about your facts?
Alexis: We had a DNA test?
Derek: HOW?! I mean, uh...[awkward laughter] I can't imagine that would have been easy, getting a DNA sample from a dead mobster.
Alexis: We didn't need it from him. We got it from another family member.
Derek: What family member?
DEREK: Family member? Julian has a family member? What? Huh? I ask because I'm a journalist.
CARLOS: I'm coming in to interrupt this conversation purely for contrivance's sake.
ALEXIS: I should get going anyway.
DEREK: Going? Going where? To spend time with your family? Speaking of family...you were saying something about Julian's family?
CARLOS: Is this a bad time to make a bizarrely timed pronouncement over my heartbreak that Sabrina is getting married to Patrick? I mean, if we're all sharing and whatnot. It is? Okay. Never mind.