In A Word...Ew
I could be saying, loudly and accompanied by a pretty epic grimace, that "ew" about SO many things on today's episode of General Hospital, because so much of it was gross and upsetting on a visceral level.
Every second Sonny and Olivia shared together, for example, was stomach-churning, and that isn't even related to the actual content of their conversation, which I am sort of hazy about on account of not being able to listen over my internal monologue shouting "HE SHOT YOUR SON IN THE CHEST!". It was something about Morgan, I gather? And Olivia just looked at him with these big moon eyes the entire time and it just gutted me. Or made me want to gut myself, rather. And what about when he lunged at the DA (who...can I be frank? Was he a contest winner? I don't think he delivered a single word believably, let alone an entire line) all crazy-eyed and violent?
Sonny, ENRAGED: I'VE NEVER. WORN A WIRE. IN. MY. LIFE!
"I've shot my wife in the head, sir, and I've shot my son in the chest and I blew up my daughter and I am basically terrible in every conceivable way, but a wire, sir? I would never do something so depraved! How dare you?!"
Michael and Kiki's confrontation of Ava over her Jerome lies was also gross, because of Kiki's wild-eyed facial contortions (the nostril-flaring! Ew!) and "Talk to the hand" gesticulations as well as Michael's completely unearned smugness.
Michael: We know the truth, Ava. You're connected to the Jerome crime family. Your brother is Julian Jerome.
So patronizing. I clapped my hands in delight at Ava and Morgan's responses.
Morgan: Dude, even if that's true, so what? We're dad's kids, that doesn't mean we're in the mob.
Ava: I'm sure you want to protect your criminal father's crooked business. I respect that.
Then you had Carly and Ava's brief catfight over Morgan, where Carly spat out the phrase "Cradle-robbing whore" and Ava made the most over-the-top and ridiculous sex-kitten faces this side of the adult film industry; an ominous (and long--very long) conversation between TJ and Shawn about stuff and things that basically has me worried--or it would be worry if I cared, which I don't--that TJ is going to die. All of it was ew. All of it.
But OH MY GOD, nothing in this world is grosser than Carly and Franco mooning over each other like love struck seventh graders.
I...I never knew that two human beings smiling at each other could cause me such discomfort and also rage, but here I am, nauseous and angry. Oh my god, when Carly was all twinkly and charming telling him he had a gift? And how he made sad panda eyes at her and Derek? I am literally (not literally but can we just go with it? Hyperbole trumps grammar here!) breaking out into hives just remembering it.