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« Crazy In Love. Like...Deranged In Love | Main | The Fosters: Season 1B(?), Episode 1 »

January 13, 2014

Forget Carly--I'm The One Being Held Hostage Here

As I'm sure you can imagine, I was all set to whine, loudly and longly, about the ENDLESS scenes showing a captive Carly (complete with the world's laziest gag) at Heather's mercy while Heather screeched and screamed and flared her nostrils and threatened repeatedly to kill Carly. It's a trifecta of bad, you know? There is so much over-the-top shtick (I'm not saying Robin Mattson isn't good at what she does, but I'm not not saying that she'd be enjoyable if she dialed it down ten notches. Or, better yet, was written off the show and brought back a year or two from now). All of these scenes are just dramatically deficient: does anyone actually think Carly is going to die? I know many/most of you are fervently HOPING that she will and have probably pitched your remotes at your TVs because she hasn't yet, but she's basically immortal--I'm sort of convinced that she's an actual demon and the reveal will come the next time the show goes to the supernatural camp realm--and come on, would the show really deprive Franco of his happily ever after with his one true love? No, they wouldn't (oh my god, how sad is it that we are discussing Carly in terms of how it will impact Franco? VERY). And did I mention that they are so very endless? Heather has had Carly for days, which means that she's been telling her about her impending death for HOURS. I'm sort of intrigued by the conversations they have off camera--is Heather just on an endless loop with the death threats, repeating herself constantly? It seems that way to me as a viewer and I'm about to lose my mind, so who knows the mental anguish Carly is experiencing? Maybe the thick, gelatinous substance on Heather's knife was blood spatter from Carly'd exploding from absolute misery.

But then Kiki happened and it took the wind out of my ranty sails (think about how much longer that rant would have been had I really had my heart in it!).

There are characters that I hate more than I hate Kiki--Franco, for one. And Sonny. And Felix. And, and, and, etc. But at least there is a point to those characters. Felix, of course, is responsible for broadcasting Sabrina's awesome to the rest of town. Sonny is the "dark" "hero" and "romantic" "leading man" from what I've been led to believe. And Franco exists as a means for the show to basically give us all the finger and taunt us into following through on our empty threats to "REALLY QUIT, FOR REAL THIS TIME. REALLY. REAL". These are terrible purposes and I'd be a lot happier without them, but they have reasons for existing. Why is Kiki? I am mystified every time she appears onscreen shouting at people and generally being terrible. This is supposed to be entertainment? I'm supposed to be interested in this person? I'm interested in envisioning scenarios in which she's written off the show and never mentioned again, that's for sure.

Ava: You'll take him at his word, but not me? You would believe the word of a serial killer but not the word of your own mother?
Kiki: As far as I know, Franco has never lied to me.

What circle of hell are liars sent to and how much worse is it than that of serial murderers with tumors? Sorry, that was unfair of me. Serial killers with tumors clearly aren't going to hell. I overstated that.  I'm not saying that Ava is a candidate for mother of the year, but I am also saying that I have literally no interest in Kiki's feelings or their relationship in general so lie away if you want to, I'm just going to fast forward it.

And watching Kiki be all jokey and give Franco relationship advice had me wanting to gargle Clorox.

Kiki: Just because we're not related doesn't mean that I don't care about you.

"You know how we're legally prohibited from talking about how we used to be father and daughter on that other show but we were, like, really great together? Remember? You can still love us now, even though we're not on, um...Feline Evil, Too. We're still great!"

And then the teary and heartfelt Franco, sick with worry over Carly and refusing to believe that his True Love 4Eva would ever hurt him--just, ugh. I cannot ugh enough.


  • Silas having a wife who has been in a coma for decades and whose comatose state he feels responsible for because said wife was so distraught about Silas's affair with Ava is exactly as uninteresting as I anticipated it being. Oh, Michael Easton, you try to make me care and yet I can't! I am mildly interested--no, interested isn't the right word. I am sort of curious--like the bare minimum of curiosity. Like I am slightly more curious than Silas's wife. Too soon?--to learn why this is coming up all of a sudden and why Nathan West relocated to Port Charles so that he could nail Silas for it. It's been 20 years!
  • Nathan's phone call to Ava led to a predictably underplayed Ava reaction shot. Just kidding, her eyes bugged out and then darted in a million different directions. Coupled with her elaborately teased hair, it came across as way less than mentally stable.
  • "I know that's procedure, but this is my mom. Can't you make an exception?!" Oh, Michael, you are so your mother's son.
  • Oh, goody, another paternity lie. How new and fresh! ("Um, excuse me, this IS new," says GH. "What other paternity story featured this many rolled r's? BOO-YAH!")
  • Carlos is gross. "Protection was the last thing on our minds?" I vomit.


Still giggling:
("Um, excuse me, this IS new," says GH. "What other paternity story featured this many rolled r's? BOO-YAH!")

Just...word to everything you said about Kiki, Franco, and Carly. ...word.

But at least there was Lucas in the promo, rocking some scruff and actually dressed for January in upstate New York. How long before Ron ruins him (answer - the second he and Felix share a scene)?

Carlos is becoming my one of my favorite characters but that line about protection was so gross.

I really really hope that Lucas isn't tainted by Felix but I'm not holding my breath.

Heather is such an overused plot point. Doesn't anyone notice that she is missing from lock up? I think right about now, the ratings would normally take a nose dive, however, TPTB will thrust Lucas into the spotlight to garner new support. I agree, hope he is not tainted with the Brad and Felix stuff. I also agree that I could care less about the Kiki Ava relationship.

TPTB should really take a long look at which characters viewers are interested in and start writing for them. Nurse Webber anyone?? Tracy?? These are just a few examples of fan favs who have virtually disappeared.

ok ... so here are my whines ...

first and foremost .. Carly's hands are 'tied' in front of her, in front of her .. what is stopping her from removing that aburd excuse for a gag????????????????

second .. lets all just sit back and wait for the Ava flashback where she injects Silas' wife with the meds she stole the 'script for ... Ava's history to-date: attempting to kill Franco, killing Connie (thank you) and destroying the evidence that could link her to same

third .. clearly this awful excuse for acting in favor of 'pretty' Nathan cant be Silas' son since he is likely more than 20 but i am betting he's somehow related to her

as for Sabrina/Carlos/loose-lipped Felix/Drake Jr .. Robin had the best reaction when she walked away .. keep walking Robin this whole storyline is an insult

i believe that is all

I will say that Carly's rope is tied to a grommet, making it harder (but not impossible) to untie. I am more annoyed with the gag. Carly is a world class screecher - she should choose to view that gag as the challenge she had always wanter.
Ava - the most over the top villain since Faith. But I loved Faith. I should love Ava - what is wrong with me that I just can't. I actually love the actress on ATWT, but I find myself distracted by her breathless enunciation. Weird - or do others feel this way?
Nathan is pretty - I have only liked him with Anna and Maxie so far. Everything else fell flat.
Ugh Sabrina. Carlos loves you, Patrick does not - tell Patrick it is his baby, but you realize that Carlos is the one who really loves you. Tell him that you will do Joint Custody - but realize that is all you will do. No longing looks, no "possibility of reunion". And then fully embrace the joy that comes from being with a man who really loves you. It is awesome and you don't need to be second choice or an obligation.

Absolutely correct about TPTB giving us the finger. It's their show now, Howarth, Easton and Alderson are their pets and screw all of us who have been watching for decades. (That is also your answer to why Kiki exists).

We don't care about these characters and story lines because these guys just don't know how to tell a compelling story or build characters and relationships. It's that simple. They roped us in with the 50th anniversary, pulled in some vets for window dressing and a little bait and switch, used Robin and her family to boost the ratings at the end of the year and now they are back to the OLTL 3 and the ridiculous existence that is Sabrina eating the entire show.

They hit 3.3 million people with the Robin reveal. They lost 250,000 viewers the next week due to her return being an epic fail and all about Sabrina. They went back to 3.3 million when Patrick finally came home to Robin and hit almost 3.5 million when they renewed their vows, and now we are back to OLTL 3 and Sabrina hell, with a heeping dose of Ava and now I'm sure the hot cop who can't act will have plenty of scenes with his shirt off. What was once such a great quality show is just becoming a joke.

Matilda I agree with you 100%. Robin being back was what gave them there highest ratings in YEARS but instead of rewarding us fans they slapped us all in the face and said FU to us and continued to push in our faces there pet suckbrina with yet another fuckin baby daddy store UGHHHHH. It's such a damn insult in every possible way. They could have done sooo many other stories for Robin and Patrick ANYTHING ELSE but nope, they said who cares about what trauma Robin went through, lets not tell that story but lets LEAVE THE ANNOYING TWIT IN THEIR ORBIT AND HAVE HER PREGANANT. This show wants to destroy THE ONLY SUPER COUPLE THEY HAVE LEFT WHICH IS SCRUBS to pimp a useless character and OLTL ex actors. I want GH cancelled cause as a fan of not only the show but of Robin and Patrick and hell of so many other watchable characters like AJ, I am beyond angry, more angry than I should be since its only a damn TV SOAP but that's how fucked up what they are doing is.

At least while Carly was biting her loose gag, we had an heartfelt discussion between Monica and AJ. Like how AJ fells so guilty he got away with murder, he'd rather drink himself to death. Kevin should be helping AJ instead of Franco.

Cancelling GH means way too many people out of work (see AMC & OLTL), so, my hope in 2014, is that TPTB (RC/FV,Daytime President) etc...get a handle on what works (vets, vets, vets!), and drop those characters that annoy or tick the heck out of the long term viewer!

I was watching the Heather/Carly scenes and yelling at the TV: "STOP THE BLATHERING ALREADY, AND KILL HER!". Now I know Carly isn't going to die, but Heather's act really is wearing thin.

This new guy, playing Nathan West, is really stiff. Now he may settle into the role, but I wouldn't put money on it.

Calling the new guy stiff is generous. If their goal was to cast a handsome cop, I'm sure they could have found someone good looking who is actually an actor, not an underwear model. It's pretty pathetic.

Ok GIB and Matilda already said everything I already think butt.I haven't been able to watch lately with as much as I want to see the scene where Robin and Aj gave each other a hug.Lots of that because She had given Sonny one also.I remember the last time Robin saw Scummy. he put a bullet in her,and also didn't care that emma was also in the doorway..Ye poor Scummy was in a bad place. The place he should have been in was the jail in a nice Small dark cell all alone. Climbing the sides would have also been nice to watch. We all know carley won't die, because if I thought she had a chance !!nothing could keep me from watching. GH is now OLTL 2 and I didn't watch that show so why would I want to watch it here? RC can have my finger in return.

It is incredibly selfish to wish for the show to be cancelled. If you watch when, every once in a while, they run the full credits, you will see that over one hundred, if not more, people are employed by that show. The actors are the tip of the iceberg. You should criticize because you want it to get better, not to wish many people unemployed.

No one wants the show cancelled.what I want is a show I can watch.I want to be entertained not disgusted. Not have to watch the characters dumbed down. The plots sooo off the wall you shake your head in disbelief. If they want people to watch they need to listen, sure we have characters we don't like and some we do.We also don't want their pets shoved down our throats daily and when people call Ron out he blocks them.why bother being so close to the fire if you don't want to get burned. Take the criticism or just get off social media. I don't even belong to twitter because I may be tempted to say something I shouldn't. No one wants anyone to lose their jobs. FOR A WHILE THE SHOW WAS GOOD NOW ITS NOT.

that new guy on GH sure is stiff
he really seems unsure of himself

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