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« Unsolved Mysteries | Main | Oh My God, The YELLS »

January 27, 2014

The Fosters: Things Unsaid

We open to Lena and Stef learning that Brandon popping by to make out with his stepsister at his group home is going to get Callie kicked out. So that's pretty much the end of Brandon and Callie forever, right? RIGHT?

Mariana calls Jude Judicorn!

Rosie (okay, her character is Rita so I'm going to try to actually say that but I make no promises) lays down some law to Callie. She is to have zero contact with Brandon. At all.

Zero contact

Callie in trouble

Callie pretends to agree to this rule. I'm sure she'll stick to it and this'll stop being the central love story of the show! Hurrah! (I know. I'm adorably naive, right??)

All three of Brandon's parents explain to him he needs to back the eff up off of Callie or basically she goes back to juvie. Because he is a genius mouth-breather, he doesn't care. He's still going to see her, he insists.

Mouth breather

They can't stop him! (Oh Brandon, you dope, your parents are two cops and a high school principal. They sure as hell can stop you, but you should probably stop yourself first instead of getting the girl you're crushing on sent to juvie just because you care more about making out with her.) They explain that there's literally a restraining order against him, and he'll be arrested if he goes within a hundred feet of Callie. Oh, those jerky grownups, trying to get in the way of TRUE LOVE! Brandon refuses to "accept" the restraining order, since just denying that something is happening is the way to win any argument.

Lena flirts with Stef about how tough she looks in her uniform. I have nowhere to even put my feelings about how cute they are.

Callie and Daphne are doing chores as Callie slips away to grab her hidden cell phone. Naturally there's a text from Brandon. 

Jesus goes beach-jogging and runs into a cute girl. Is she the same cute girl that totally dominated him wrestling last week? I think so?*

Stef's new partner is "politely" complaining that he's being paired with a woman. Stef digs around a bit for information on how quickly Mike will get cleared for the shooting incident. 

Back at the fanciest drama department in the history of public high school, Chase asks Mariana for help altering his costume pants. She goes to measure him and he drops trou.

Mariana the seamstress

Chase drops trou

D'oh! Then he does some sort of twirl move and asks her to run lines with him later. This displeases Kelsey very much. I'm sure she'll handle this displeasure with humility and grace.


Mariana, be careful about theatre boys. Look a little closer.

Jude's buddy invites him to the new show at the Planetarium, but Jude is worried he won't be placed at the Foster Adams house long enough to make future plans. Aw, Jude.

A co-worker brings in some product placement to Lena. Wait, I mean he brings in some really important Kindles "for the children" at school. Lena expresses her nervousness about her wife being back in the line of duty, but she's trying to put on a brave face.

Kelsey storms into the wardrobe room and calls out Mariana since "everybody knows" that "running lines" is code for "hooking up." Well. Sure. She's mad and out for blood.

The gang from the group home is on some sort of nature facility tour somewhere. Callie slips away to meet Brandon and make out with him happily. Rita isn't an idiot and realizes Callie is missing and runs around a bunch of pagoda-looking things trying to find her, while Brandon gives the brilliant suggestion to Callie that she get herself emancipated. Callie asks about Jude and then they get all kissy-face again.

Stop it

Daphne tracks down Callie five seconds before Rita does, so she's in the clear. This was a quid pro quo from Daphne, who insists to Callie that the two of them are now straight. (Stop disappointing me! Nobody's "straight" on this show!)

Kelsey and Mariana make up and Mariana cancels with Chase, while Kelsey jumps in and offers to help him out. Turns out Kelsey has detention, though, so she can't do it.

Back at the museum, Cole gets confronted for waiting in line for the men's room. Transphobia and fisticuffs ensue and Rita breaks it up. Don't mess with Rita. Don't mess with Stef either. She's getting sick of her new partner already and his lack of compassion for at-risk youth. At-risk youth is kind of her thing.

One of the teachers is SUPER helpful and tells Lena there was a police chase downtown and shots were fired. That'll calm her right down!

Mike tries to get Brandon to shape up, but Brandon's not hearing a thing because of Mike's history with alcohol. Fastest way to help him stay clean and sober! Suggest that he's already done too much damage to ever be respected again! Who could relapse after that?! (Y'all, this time I have to allow that Brandon is a teenager and wouldn't understand that, but it's so hard for me to ever not hate him and judge him for everything all of the time.)

Mariana takes the window and offers to run lines with Chase after all.

After Jesus gets shamed a bit at wrestling practice, the cute wrestler girl flirts with him. Then the rest of the team does some of sort of human-tunnel initiation process that seems harmless at first but somehow he ends up getting pummeled in the face.

Don't mess with lena's boy

Mama Bear does NOT appreciate this. She also later does not appreciate the new ant problem that hidden junk food has caused at Casa Foster Adams.

Back at the girls' home, they're having a group meeting about the incident with Cole and the bathroom. Most of the girls are being really ugly to him about it, but Callie is the only one who backs him up. She thinks the other girls are just projecting their own anger onto Cole. Rita agrees. 

Stef tries to visit Callie but Callie doesn't have visiting privileges and Rita suggests that Stef let Callie come to her. And that they go to the next Family Day. Callie does notice Stef driving away from her window of plot convenience.

Lena does some foster mom counseling with Jude. He's hoarding food because he's afraid a case worker is going to take him away and he needs a munchies stash. They have a sweet talk about not living life in fear of what might happen, and she promises him that he's safe in that house.

Kelsey is getting her revenge by turning Mariana in for stealing a fedora (the fedora that Kelsey stole) and turning her in for having sold her those pills earlier in the season. Girl got the blood she was out for.

Cole thanks Callie for having his back in group. Daphne explains the Independent Living Program to Callie. She's done well at the group home and got recommendations from the staff and plans to get her diploma and then get her daughter back. She talks about how her daughter comes first, which seems to have some sort of impact on Callie. Perhaps she's realizing she should put Jude before her flirtation with Brandon? Any chance? Dare to dream? Hard to tell.

The Moms come down on Mariana because of the pill-selling and the stealing and she is suspended from school. Oops! Bummer! She's shaped up so well since then!

Cole busts Callie with her hidden phone and Cole tosses it for Callie's "own good."

Mike and Brandon bond a bit. Mike apologizes for past behavior and talks about how hard it is to be only on visitation with Brandon. He hands over some cash for Brandon's piano lessons. Brandon immediately calls and cancels piano lessons because obviously he is going to do something really ugly and gross like use this money to get Callie emancipated or... something. I hate him. I cannot help it.

Lena and Stef have some bedtime chatter and then go to sleep without kissing good night. It's tense. Oh no! Lesbian Bed Death already! They just got married!

Cole texts Brandon pretending to be Callie, telling him they're done. I knew I loved Cole! (I... think we're supposed to see this as a bad thing. I can't do that.)

Next week: Brandon and Callie make out some more! I can't wait? 

More Stef and Lena! More Stef and Lena! (AND WAY LESS BRANDON/CALLIE PLEASE!!)


*Upon further investigation, yes. She is that girl and her character's name is Emma.


Louise, As always we are like minds when it comes to Brandon. I like him with Callie but I can't deal with him any other way!

Urgh. It hadn't even occurred to me that that was what Brandon was going to do with the money. I innocently thought he would give it back to Mike.

Also, Mariana's continued bonding with Jude is love.

Always fun to read one of your reviews, even if it does make me miss OLTL.

CZ, you're giving that kid way too much credit. You're clearly a better person than he is!

I miss OLTL too. So much.

Definitely chime in if you think of other prime time serial dramas that would be fun for coverage! I watch a good number of them, but most shows get covered ad nauseam on the usual recap sites (TWoP, AVClub, EW, etc), so I'm just trying to think of things that might need a little more attention.

Anyone around these parts watch Nashville?

I love Nashville and would love to get a Louise style recap after each episode!

Nashville, Louise, Nashville! Will and Brent! Juliette and Avery!

Louise, I would love Nashville recaps! You and I are usually so simpatico in our opinions, especially about OLTL (sniff!) that I'm actually kind of dying to know what you think! Do you find Juliette and Lucky Avery as surprisingly awesome as I do? Do you hate Scarlett, too? Do you also need Rayna and Deacon to JUST MAKE OUT ALREADY, GOOD GOD. Inquiring minds want to know!

Oh, definitely. Would love Nashville recaps, particularly by you.

Melissa, you will then be happy to learn that I hate Scarlett like she's one of the Ford brothers. Seriously. Hate. Hate.

Well, I will give it a whirl with tonight's episode and if there seems to be interest, I'll take it from there!

Yay Louise!

Well then I hope Brent is in tonight's episode. Will needs to start being nicer to him pronto.

Nashville recaps? Yes, please!

I would LOVE some Louise Nashville recaps.

Thanks for this Louise. As a gay woman who loves soaps I'm happy to see you recapping The Fosters. Of course I love me some Stef and Lena. They're just the best. It's so hard to see lesbians portrayed realistically and positively which is why this show means so much to me. So yay for that.

LJMartiz, I'm right there with you. I'm so glad this show exists!

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