I have a lot of questions, actually, but I am so cold (so cold. SO COLD!) right now that all I want to do is hold my herbal tea in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other and wrap myself in five layers of fleece blankets, so I don't want to take the time to type them all or offer my own theories for the answers (most of the answers come down to "Crazy Mallory, are you really asking this? BECAUSE OF CONTRIVANCE AND/OR BAD TASTE, WHICHEVER IS MOST APPLICABLE") because I'm worried about losing my extremities to frostbite. So these are just quickies. Imagine me typing them with a VERY quizzical expression.
- Dr. Obrecht is a villainous character for many reasons including, but not limited to, attempted murder, kidnapping, paternity and maternity shenanigans, imprisonment, identity theft using weirdly realistic and high tech face masks. She also has zero business being employed as the Chief of Staff of a hospital, even a hospital as troubled as this one. She really has zero business being employed, actually, on account of all of the aforementioned crimes. But I cannot dislike her for having high standards for her staff.
Dr. Obrecht: Mr. Cooper, I believe your shift at the lab starts at 9 AM. Not 9:01, not 9:02 and certainly not 9:09.I may have stood and clapped. As an obsessively punctual person (I believe being fifteen minutes early is being on time. If I am even one minute off of my morning schedule, I am out of sorts for the rest of the day. I probably should have looked into therapy for this years ago), lateness gets a side-eye from me. I don't even realize I am doing it--someone strolls into work late and I just feel my nose turning into a sneer. Ten minutes late to work? Do you know what time I get to work on a day I start at 9? A time so early that I am not going to tell you because I will come across as even nuttier than I did in the previous sentences.
- Was Dr. O making eyes at Silas when she asked "So is it true? Did you try to kill your wife?" It seemed AWFULLY flirtatious to me--and to Silas, I think, based on the horrified faces me made during and after their conversation.
- Will one of you promise to wake me up when the truth about Nina's coma is revealed? Or at least when we learn just why Nathan West is so interested in a case from two decades ago that could be attempted murder and could be an accident and is either way incredibly boring? Thank you in advance.
- Do you think Sonny knows how incredibly dickish "I'd be looking for Carly myself but I gotta deal with the Jeromes" sounds or do you think he's patting himself for being a really good ex-husband? "I'd care more if I didn't need to kill some bitches, Morgan. She's probably fine. Shaun's on the case and he'll probably figure it out, even though he has never done anything correctly in his entire time working for me."
- When Luke never came back from getting rid of the raccoons in the Quartermaine boathouse, did that concern anyone? He's been gone for days.
- Am I the only person to get PROFOUND secondhand embarrassment when Ava texts Morgan all giddy-like?
- Is Julian as bad a mobster as Sonny, or is he even worse? Why does he keep having long conversations with people he wants to kill? Wouldn't it be more prudent to, I don't know, catch them off guard and just kill them? Does he like the sound of his own voice that much? I mean, I like the sound of his voice so I sympathize, but really.
- Is there anyone on the planet who believes Brad would actually choose Felix over Lucas? Even ignoring all of Felix's personality flaws and obsessive behavior, he is friends with Sabrina and who would want to have to spend even one more second with her than was absolutely necessary?