The Fosters: Family Day
At their family breakfast that I always want to go to, Jude is really part of the family. Stef and Lena want to move forward with the adoption!
They ask him, does he want to be adopted without Callie? Aww. (Kid, run while you can, your older sister is an albatross!)
Emma, the wrestling chick who is ostensibly Jesus's new love interest (or temptation), has lost me this week. He thought she might not be speaking to him because of Lena's general wrath, but she says she doesn't ice people out and that's why she doesn't "hang out with girls." Ugh. Oh how cool, the laid-back chick who prefers hanging out with dudes in high school because she just has to roll her eyes at how lame girls are. (You might notice this is a type of which I am hardly fond. You know, the ones who get in good with the guys 'cause they're not "really" a girl. Except they are. Girls. So they should probably have a little damn solidarity.) (No big deal.) (Clearly I have no passionate thoughts on this topic.)
Anyway, he accidentally texted Emma an Anthony Weiner-esque selfie that he meant to send to Lexi after she sent him a photo of herself in just her training bra. Because this is ABC Family, we didn't see what a teenage boy probably would do after getting that photo, and instead he accidentally sent his response to Emma and got walked in on by Jude.
Lena asks her doctor about whether or not she can get pregnant.
LENA, YOU HAVE FIVE CHILDREN ALREADY. AND TWO THOUSAND CHILDREN AT YOUR JOB. STOP WHILE YOU'RE AHEAD. STOP IT. STOP IT. Later, Lena tells Stef she got more action from her gyno than she has at home in a while. Adams Foster Lesbian Bed Death rears its ugly head again, y'all! (This continues throughout the episode.)
Oh and Stef's father tried to buy Lena and Stef a new car but Stef wasn't having it. Because he thinks his own daughter doesn't have the right to marry the person she loves. So that seems like a reasonable principle.
It was in part just some product placement for the Toyota Prius, but hilariously her dad suggested they'd like the car because it's something liberals are into.
At the Family Day visit, the other residents debate over whether Jesus is hotter or Brandon is hotter. (Hint: it's Jesus, girls. Brandon is a mouth-breather.) Jude further becomes my hero by telling Callie he's getting adopted with or without her, as Rita fills a shocked Lena and Stef in on Callie's application for the independent living program. Brandon and Callie sneak off and he quickly learns it was Cole who sent him the "leave me alone, we're done" texts, and then Callie breaks Lena and Stef's hearts by thanking them for everything but insisting she wants to be on her own.
Callie catches Cole with drugs and tells him if she can have her phone back she won't turn him in for drugs. Classy, Callie, let a teenage addict go off the wagon so that you can date your foster brother! (Cole says it's not what Callie thinks, which makes me suspect that's not quite what it comes down to and obviously as he's transgender we all have some ideas, but the point is that Callie thinks Cole is going to get high.)
Jude blows up at Jesus after being locked out of the bedroom forever so that he can video-chat with Emma, who is really getting on my nerves. But the real point of this scene is that it leads to Jude getting a parental chat from Lena and Stef in which he refers to Jesus's and his shared space as "his room" which literally sends the Moms squealing with glee moments later. THEY ARE THE CUTEST EVER OH MY GOD I LOVE THEM.
So it turns out that, yes, Cole's "drugs" are hormones and he's been off of them for a few months after getting kicked out by his parents and sent to juvie and the home. He apologizes for his temper and it's a sweet scene where they both seem to soften a bit. He just wants to use her phone to call his connection for the hormones, which are totally safe. This isn't going to end well.
Brandon visits Callie at Daphne's independent living apartment. I call shenanigans. This teenager's apartment is four times the size of mine and I'm middle-aged with a salaried full-time job and a bunch of useless degrees, dammit! Anyway, Callie tells him all about her plans for their apartment together. I mean they have kissed three times, it's probably time to move in together. Which apparently he's into? (Brandon has gotten this U-Haul gene from both nature and nurture!) And then of course the expected grossness.
This time things get horizontal. They didn't quite spell it out but I think we see where this is going.
Anyway, naturally Cole overdoses on the drugs and is rushed off to the hospital and Callie admits to the group that she knew about the hormones. The other residents get super pissed at her in group and they call her out for having a family that wants her and she's still just in the home because she's being a brat.
Lena and Stef online shop for a new (used) car. If they keep going at this rate they're going to need a bus instead. Lena thinks they should accept the car from Frank, which leads to a bit of a battle. I'm on both their sides with this one -- Stef should definitely try to mend fences with her father because they love each other but, no, this isn't just a matter of mildly different political beliefs. This is Stef's father thinking she shouldn't have had the civil right to marry her wife. Meanwhile Rita is at the group home telling Callie way too much of her private business about her own personal life, trying to suggest that Callie deliberately sabotages everything for herself because she's afraid nothing's going to last anyway.
Cole comes back all bandaged up, with a bummer of a story about how his parents found out he was hospitalized and didn't even show up. Callie maybe stops and realizes how cool it is to have people who love her and want to be her parents? She turns her contraband phone in to Rita and says she's going to stay at the group home.
Stef goes to see her father and it's bad news. He's unconscious in his chair. In fact very much not alive. She looks horrified.
Well. Now I'm depressed. This show, y'all. I'm going to go back and watch the opening credits 30 times so I feel better.