The Fosters: Us Against The World
In group at Girls United, everyone is chatting about Callie returning to her old/new home. They're challenging her ability to "resist" Brandon. (I don't understand what the problem is, frankly, but tastes vary.) Everyone tells Callie what they learned from her. I have to get around to catching the Girls United webisodes because most of what they learned didn't really play out on the regular episodes, other than Cole. Although Becca does tell Callie that she learned how to look all "blank and superior" from her, which is kind of awesome. They have a group hug and I'm sad that this story arc is over.
The family welcomes her home and Jude pretty obviously is trying to avoid her by rushing off to work on a book report. Brandon gives Callie all the droopy eyes and then tells her he moved in with his dad.
Credits! I really continue to love the song more every time.
Callie has a little family meeting with Stef and Lena about all the new ground rules.
Callie agrees to their new rules, acknowledging that she needs to earn back their trust. Which, duh. And then she gives one of her weird "Callie looks."
She's always so intense!
Stef gets a summons to testify in Mike's case, and she finally tells Lena the truth about what happened (that she wasn't actually unconscious at the time).
Words are exchanged but I'm a little distracted because Lena is all pretty in this little blazer number and Stef is in uniform. Oh right, if she tells the truth she'll lose her job.
Brandon runs into a young lady at his dad's house. Dani, a "friend." It's awkward and she starts to adjust his collar and is practically making out with him and then actually says the words, "Pilates is my religion, gotta keep everything high and tight!" Well, she's gross. Mike insists she's not his girlfriend but his "sober buddy." Mike tries to give Brandon money for piano lessons, but Brandon turns down the cash and says he needs to take a break from the lessons.
Mariana is sad when she sees Chase flirting with Kelsey.
But then Zach skips up and invites her on a date. But again...
I'm still not convinced this guy has a crush on Callie. Maybe he just likes her fashion sense?
Brandon and Callie have an uncomfortable moment in the school hallway for no good reason. The less screentime these two have together from now on, the happier I'll be. I realize all of the teenage internet disagrees with me.
Mike leaves a voicemail with Brandon's piano teacher.
Brandon gets pissy with some kid on the beach for a "faulty boomerang," like you do. The kid offers Brandon a joint and then announces he's buying booze for a party that night and shows Brandon his fake I.D. Because that's what the bad influences do, they just see you sitting on the beach and start revealing the different rules and laws they're breaking. To the vice principal's son. Are we getting into VERY SPECIAL EPISODE territory here? (Wait, this is The Fosters, which is one big giant special episode.)
Jude is getting little treats all day from Callie with clues attached to them, presumably on their way to spelling something out. He and Connor adorably eat the cupcakes.
Mariana feels guilty that her involvement with her birth mother is what led to the trouble Mike's in, but thinks aloud that if she were to try to talk to her about it she'd just ask for more money. Which leads to Brandon getting that pile of cash from last week's episode.
Connor and Jude continue to try to decipher the birthday clues.
Mariana explains the whole Kelsey incident to Chase, who then invites her to the cast party that night.
She's all happy (even though Chase seems to me to be into girls just as much as Zach does, but okay, I'll get on board) and tells him she'll be there, despite having just made plans with Zach. Aw, Mariana. Don't do that.
Brandon goes and bribes Ana (Jesus and Mariana's birth mother) to say she wasn't at the house the night of the shooting, both to help get Mike off the hook and to not disappoint Jesus and Mariana. (Well, he financially bribes and emotionally blackmails.) Huh. I know this is "bad," but I hate Brandon a little less right now. Mostly because this has nothing to do with his crush on Callie.
At the hearing, Stef testifies.
She 'fesses up, risking her job. Is everyone always going to do the "right thing" on this show eventually? That'll get dull, won't it?
Mariana is trying to get permission to go to the cast party, and hilariously tells Lena there's no way there'll be alcohol there because it's "just a cast party." HA!, I say as a high school drama chick. HA!, I say as a college drama major, a graduate school MFA gal, and now a whole grownup playwright and director. HA! Anyway, Mike turns up and explains that Ana changed her story so the whole case got tossed. He's free as a bird!
Brandon intercepts a phone call from the piano instructor. Mariana catches this, which leads to Brandon admitting he kept the money (originally to help Callie get her apartment, reminding me of how annoying and douchey he was prior to last week).
Cast party! Somehow Zach is there after all. They're confused as to why the cast party is so big when the cast only had 4 people. Uh, the crew? Hello? Also, a high school party! Mariana does some embarrassing flirting with embarrassing Chase. She asks if he's always wanted to act and he says he's always wanted to "change lives." THIS GUY. Oof. She and Kelsey then bicker a bit and Zach comes up and literally says, "Hashtag cat fight!" (Mariana is awesome and calls him out on that sexist nonsense, but then kind of huffs away from him.)
Brandon talks to the "bad kid" who suggests they sell fake I.D.s to make some extra cash. Because again, that's how juvenile delinquency works. There's bad kids everywhere just pitching illegal activities to strangers! KEEP YOUR CHILDREN AWAY FROM CAST PARTIES.
Talya gloats a bit to Brandon about how he's not with Callie, and he goes off on her all douchily.
He yells about how Callie was totally into him and he's tired of people making assumptions. What does it say about me that I only feel for Talya in this exchange?
Speaking of Talya, at her suggestion Mariana tucks her panties into Chase's pocket and invites him upstairs. Oh my!
Stef's captain swings by her house and pretends she couldn't read her deposition, so she's off the hook. But Stef is left with a stern warning that she better be extra vigilant and by-the-book now because IA is all over this.
Zach finds Mariana in the bedroom and starts to awkwardly confess something to her but is interrupted by Chase.
Talya confronts Callie for having kissed Brandon and lying to her about it. Oops! There are choice words involved. "Bitch" on ABC Family! (I realize this channel has evolved a lot.)
Chase tries to have sex with Mariana but she's not having it, and he gets all gross calling her a tease and asking if she'll at least "help [him] out" (so presumably he's lookin' for a handie). She doesn't. She doesn't give him a hand job.
Brandon is all huffy with Callie and is far too hung up on the other kids thinking she ran away with Wyatt. Mariana comes out and the three of them leave together. Another disappointing high school party after high expectations. I had a lot of those nights. Wait, I still have those nights.
The next morning, Callie gives Jude his gift. It's a copy of Hansel and Gretel, which their mother used to read to them when they were little. Turns out all the clues were words in the final line of the book: "Then all anxiety was at an end and they lived together in perfect happiness." Aww. He got every word but "happiness," which she explains is downstairs... in the form of a surprise party. Too cute. (Jesus is at practice. I guess the actor wasn't available for this episode?)
Of course Brandon can't let things stay cute and steals some sort of school key from Lena's basket of Vice Principal keys. Because she keeps them in a basket. On a table. At the home where she has five children who attend that school. Also, Lena, DON'T HAVE MORE KIDS. It's a sign. A massive one.
The end! It's weird that in an episode in which one of the kids doesn't even appear, I am still left feeling like we didn't get enough of the grownups. That probably means I'm a grownup. Damn.
(Thankfully it does look like next week we get some more of the girls from Girls United! It also looks like we get more Callie/Brandon angst. So you win some, you lose some.)