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« Tuesday One-Liners | Main | The Crossroads of Apathy and Irritation »

April 14, 2014

Stranger Danger

Today on General Hospital, a character that we barely know (and whose new/real name I cannot make myself remember--when his mother(s) were going on about James, I felt completely disoriented. I am going to have to put a Post-It on my TV saying James = Nathan...and I'd probably need another one underneath saying Nathan = Nina Cop) found out from his mother, who we know even less (her biggest claim to fame is being the mother and accidental murderer of Nina, who we don't know AT ALL because she exists/existed entirely off screen and in the conversations of other people and yet gets mentioned more than actual contract characters and I am weirdly and obsessively bitter about this), that she's not actually his mother but his aunt (and that Dr. Obrecht is his mother because OF COURSE SHE IS. It is random and it makes no sense and it's not particularly interesting, nor does it set up any storylines, but Dr. Obrecht is both comic relief and a convenient villain, so naturally the show is going to revolve around her, right?).

Madeline--Yes, I Needed To Turn Closed Caption On To Remember: My last name is not West. It's Westbourne.
Nathan James: So you're Britt's mother?
Madeline: No, I'm not her mother. And I'm not your mother either.
Nathan James: You're not my mother.
Madeline: God help me, I wish I were but I'm not.
Nathan James: If you're not my mother, than who is?
Madeline: My sister. Liesel Obrecht.
Nathan James: [Makes a face. I don't know what the face intended to convey--shock? Pain? Confusion? Irritation? Can HE remember his own name? I know none of these things. All I can say with certainty is that he DID make a face]

The shocking thing is that I think we are supposed to care! The dramatic music was all "Can you even believe this?!?!" and all I could think was "Did my DVR record the wrong show? What bargain basement Lifetime movie is this?!"

It's very confusing, and that's without even getting into the whole "Why does Kirsten Storms always get stuck in stories with annoying characters whose use of the English language is filled with buzz words and angry-making inflections?" thing that is also wearing on me. My head hurts.


Since GH was kept on the air in 2012, we have seen all of these new characters in the last two years, with more to come according to various spoiler sites, (Brad, Britt, Dr. O, Nate, Madeline (Magda), Levi, Sabrina, Ellie, Trey, Joe Jr., Silas, Kiki, Rafe, Taylor, Jordan, Ava, Felix, Carlos, ????). Yes, everyone started out as a newbie at one time, but RC/FV have gone completely overboard with no end in sight!

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