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« Brief Musings on Nashville: Crazy | Main | Tuesday One-Liners »

April 03, 2014

The More Things Change...

I was traipsing through the Serial Drama archives looking for a particularly unsettling screencap of the Quartermaine crypt (which I found--I should warn you, these images are not safe for your blood pressure) and I stumbled upon my reaction--a rageful and very, very long reaction--to finding out that Diego was the Text Message Killer and aside from the reference to Maxie's unfortunate experimentation with babushkas, which clearly dates it as an early 2008 piece, it's something I could have written today. About yet another shitty story featuring someone who died multiple times.

"We all know that the GH powers-that-be exert effort as often as they give screentime to Jacklyn Zeman. After all, WHY write for a dozen characters when you can just have the same four people have the same conversation every day? And WHY write stories about women being strong and independent when you can just use scripts from the 1950s and have women on your show solely to be victims or incubators? And WHY dress your cast in clothes that seem like they could be sold in actual stores when you can instead borrow hats from kindly grandmothers?

...the GH powers-that-be DO sometimes work hard to do something and when they do it, they are unfailingly committed to it. Unfortunately, that "something" is not "creating an entertaining, engaging soap opera" but is, rather "rewrite history with a blatant disregard for medical science, an overriding lack of originality and a massive amount of disrespect for the audience watching at home".

 Three things struck me:

1. All of this is still true.

2. I have been writing about General Hospital for a LONG time (and I used to write much more and much longer. This show is stealing both my creativity and my sunshine) (I apologize for the reference to Len. The "90s Teen Dreams" station on iHeartRadio played it this morning before Ginuwine and after Hanson. Obviously I was having a good day before I watched GH).

3. All of this is still true. Which I already said, I know, but it started to make me paranoid. Is life just one big episode of Groundhog Day?

I am, of course, still peeved about AJ's murder--his second murder, actually. Because killing off a dynamic legacy character with lots of storyline potential just once isn't enough; we have to keep going back to that well, The Killing Well, repeatedly. The only way this will even REMOTELY approach being okay is if AJ returns to town all fresh and alive in a few years and writes a book with a ridiculous title like My Two Deaths: Tales From The Quartermaine Crypt: The AJ Quartermaine Story: A Tragedy and even then, we'll have to deal with a lot of garbage aftermath stories before we get thirty seconds of comic payoff with a mock book cover--because it's basically a perfect storm of things designed to irritate me. It's short-sighted, it's wasteful (remember how excited we all were when Sean Kanan first brought AJ back from the dead? I find our 2012 childlike innocence both adorable and completely enraging. "You fools! How can you not see this is going to go straight to hell? Literally, he will soon die and then everyone in town will talk about how he's going straight to hell like the war criminal they all think he is!"), it's burying another Quartermaine. It's an ugh. It is a total ugh--yes, it is the kind of thing that completely saps me of any and all verbal ability and leads me to instead quote Britney Spears. Federline era Britney.

But truly: what else can you say about this, aside from "UGH"?

Sonny: I didn't shoot him because I had to, I shot him because I wanted to?

Sure, you could substitute things like "Ew" or "[Dramatic gasp intended to convey both horror and disgust" or "I always knew you were a goddamn psychopath, you garbage person!".

And this conversation:

Carly: I would choose you over and over again. You know that I would. You and Michael have been through so much and he's never lost faith in you.
Sonny: I need that.
Carly: HE needs that and he needs you, and AJ doesn't get it tear it apart. Look at me. We take this to our grave.

UGH, right? And also "SIGH". And also also "Jesus, AJ's corpse, stop ruining things for everyone! Don't ruin even more of Sonny's life from beyond the grave, you selfish dead bastard!"

But "UGH" just says so much with so few letters. And two of them just happen to be "GH"...

Comments

All I can say about the show is Guza is hiding under the computer ,because this looked exactly like the unholy three Guza, frons and Phelps. Stick a fork in the mobs are us, The anniversary of the Sonny show. I haven't watched since AJ went to heaven.wonder who will get the blame or medal depending on what Re-Ron writes We know the mobster never pays. Let them watch it. The last time they did this, I shut the show off for seven years. Think this will be around that long again>?

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I HATE GH!

That "anniversary show" was just a big middle finger to the fans of this UG. I was beyond disgusted that most of it was taken up by Sonny and Carly trip down memory lane. A legacy character from a legacy family died (again) and we get ghost Emily and new ghost AJ laughing at Monica for begging them to take her with them because she had no reason to stay here. A reasonable response from a newly grieving mother who has lost too much. Carly and Sonny are disgusting, selfish, nasty wastes of skin who get a way with murder, literally time and time again. At the beginning of this episode we saw pictures of characters from when this show was great, and had writers who were not lazy hacks, and it only made me very sad.

I think Ron and Frank are hacks of the first order.

Great idea - killing off AJ Quartermaine. A character with *so* much potential.

Instead, we're left with Sonny (murderer), Ava (murderess), Carly (accessory to murder after the fact), Shawn (bad shot would-be murderer)... I could go on because the list is fucking endless.

I will be sad when GH finally closes up shop. I will *not* be sad that Frank and Ron will be out of jobs. That's karma.

The new ABC/Disney chief replacing Anne Sweeney is probably beyond thrilled at what is going on with GH, this is the same man that wants an extra hour for GMA.

Killing off AJ was petty, vindictive and dumb. SK stated in his interview in 2012 that he wanted to make sure that AJ's return was not a stunt and now WE all know that it was indeed just a stunt since the actor had several years to go on his contract. What a flipping waste. AJ is dead while the show parades around Rafe, Olivia, Shawn, Franco, Kiki, Ava, Julian, Nate!, Silas, Madeline, Britt, Sabrina, Brad, and Felix.

I really want to believe that this story will end in Sonny and Carly's downfall, that Michael will turn his back on them for good.

But it won't.

It's gonna end up just like VicTodd on OLTL after the rapemance, where the show drove the character to one disgusting depth after another and then hastly tried to patch up the wounds in a way the audience couldn't and wouldn't accept.

I must say that it's extremely infuriating AFTER EVERYTHING, to still hear Sonny and Carly talk about AJ as if he was something bad that happened to them, as opposed to someone they drove to the brink time and again, merely b/c they wanted to control everything and cut AJ out.

The truth of the matter is Michael is a young man who has been shot in the head, suffered in a year long coma as a result, is a convicted felon, and was raped in prison. Before that, he was an awful child with an awful attitude. He's been through a lot b/c of the poor choices of his parents. Hell, Michael basically had 4 fathers from the time he was still in the womb through the first 4/5 years of his life b/c it was all about what Carly wanted. I find her to be as vile as I did 18 years ago.

Sonny was a character I used to enjoy, but when it came to AJ, I could never forgive him or Jason for what they did. They had no right to take this man's child. At least I can say Jason apologized at AJ's grave. He understood what they had done when he became a father himself. He got it.

Sonny and Carly...they will forever act as if what they did were good things in the name of Michael.

I never expected Carly to go against Sonny and now that she has vowed to keep the secret, I need there to be major consequences when Michael finds out. There has to be. It's not fair that these two never have to pay for anything. And the kids getting hurt isn't them paying. It's actually the kids paying.

Is MB really taking a 6 month vacation or is that an intraweb rumor?

All I can say is that now I know what template GL went by when everything became all Jeffrey O'Neill is the most awesome thing ever all of the time.

Oh and in addition to the AJ/blood transfusion idea I had on the other post, wouldn't it be ducking awesome if the freezing has also altered Jason's brain and turned him back into Jason Q the med student?

I can just see him walking into the MetroCourt wearing a blue oxford shirt and everyone fainting, not because he's back from the dead, but because he's wearing a blue oxford shirt.

You know, I don't agree with you. This show doesn't revolve around Sonny, Carly, and Jason anymore. And they're writing for way more than 4 people all the time. If anything, I feel like the opposite is happening. Because of the rotation, they cycle through stories in this weird clip. Sure we see Carly now but we haven't seen her in 3 weeks.

I'm livid about AJ but you know what? I wonder how people felt with the Hardy's got decimated. This has happened before on the show, whole families just gone. And though the decimation of the Quartermaines isn't a story I want or enjoy, I do think it's a valid story.

I did not care for AJ's death to be a Happy Anniversary GH moment. That sort of shived the heart there.

But I still enjoy my show. I felt like Friday was pretty soapy and fun.

After Sonny shot Dante/Dominic and nothing happened to Sonny, I lost all respect for the character. Sonny's only remorse was b/c he was HIS son... he was always someone's son but that didn't manner. So once again Carly and Sonny are in an unholy relationship-- what exactly did AJ do this time that was SOOO bad-- breathe--I wish Michael would turn his back on them but no it won't happen...

I see so much potential but alas the stories being told aren't the ones I want to see---

I think that Michael WILL find out, though. This is the first time I've ever felt that way.

And I'm silly enough to hope it happens during the Nurses Ball somehow.

We'll see!

Sonny feels bad he broke his promise to Michael. He should feel bad he shot and killed an unarmed innocent man.

Carly and Sonny are monsters.

this show is SICK. Sonny, and Carly never pay for ANYTHING. I Don't watch anymore but I sure hope that Michael does find out and cuts ties with both those selfish assholes but it's just wishful thinking. After this show did what they did with my favorite couple scrubs and my favorite character of Robin, I stopped having any hope that it will get better. It's only gonna get worse. And don't get me started on useless characters like that damn twit Sabrina, Her side kick Felix, and etc.. I can go on. I do miss watching some characters like Patrick and Emma, Maxie, and well the Scropio's and Devane's in general and Alexis and her girls (mostly Sam and Alexis when they are in mother/daughter mode) but it's beyond horrible and sad what they have done to this show. And someone said that they write for more characters now, well IMO they make u think they are but at the end of the day it's still the Sonny and his brats, and Carly and her brats show. JMO. When will this show get cancelled???????????

I think this us the beginning of Michael ditching sonny and Carly for a while. I see him moving into Q mansion and causing all sorts of heartbreak to sonny and Carly on AJs behalf. I see him working at elq and becoming exactly what sonny always despised, which is, apparently a successful legitimate businessman.

Morgan will become the golden child, and joss will come back from Australia all grown up and wild or something, when summer comes, for the teen set.

Sonny will have a three second crisis of conscience when he learns that he shot AJ and it was Ava all along who killed his "beloved" Connie.

I'm curious about this Luke thing. Is it Luke, or that bill guy?? Where is the real Luke??

I still think there's too many new characters that I don't know or care about. . . Thin the herd a little.

I could list off at least ten characters that should have hit the road last year, before killing off a legacy character like AJ, but no.....

I'm still mad about AJ's murder and honestly it was made one thousand times worse by the way Sonny and Carly talked about him. After he was dead. I wish Franco would have walked back in. I wish Michael would have walked in the chapel. I hate Sonny so much now that it was a relief to see Franco. Hate's not even a strong enough word.

And yes, while the Hardys are pretty much non-existent now, I don't think any were murdered off...they were allowed to leave town with the ability to return should anyone want to bother writing anything but mob stories again.

And it's true, it's not only the Sonny/Carly show now, it's primarily the Sonny/Ava show. Heck, I don't even get to see Julian that much. I'm disgusted and still debating shutting GH off after AJ's funeral. It's not entertaining any more at all.

Guys, the REAL reason Sean Kanan left GH was because he was frustrated with his character's lame storylines on the show (according to the TV Guid interview he did a few weeks ago), so it was really his choice to leave the show, so it wasn't like he was fired from the show! I wish that AJ would've been put in a coma instead of being killed off by Sonny so they would've left the door open to either Billy Warlock to reprise AJ again or another recast!

I don't know why they couldn't have shipped AJ off in a coma back to Switzerland or Victor Cassadine's magic clinic. This way Ava and Sonny could have been tortured every day by the idea that AJ might wake up and tell the truth. Seriously if I thought for one moment that Sonny might actually pay for murdering AJ or that Michael would hate Sonny for more than 5 minutes, I might actually care about this storyline but we all know the truth. Remember when Olivia was mad at Sonny for 20 seconds after he shot Dante? Or Carly was angry with Franco for what happened to Michael in prison? I would be down for Ava throwing Sonny under the bus, telling the cops that Sonny shot AJ in cold blood if only Sonny would pay for the myriad ways that he abused AJ over the years. That will happen when I go home and find a unicorn waiting on my doorstep. Or the Publisher's Clearing House prize wagon shows up.

Chris, the issue is not whether SK quit or was fired. It's immaterial. The issue is that it appears that the character was killed off just because RC was feeling vindictive and that shows complete lack of respect for the history of the show and its viewers. Hell, Y & R has had 2 different scandals with 2 different actors who played Adam, and he's still viable - mainly because he's a legacy character who has always driven story. Getting rid of a character like that is just ridiculously shortsighted.

SK didn't quit because he was fed up with the writing. He had a meeting with FV because he wasn't happy (he was probably worried too after getting backburned for 3 months). SK probably saw the writing on the wall, that he'd play a drunk loser once a week for the remaining of his contract or that he'd be writen off the show. SK knew AJ wasn't getting a love story. They could have kept him. RC wrote an exit story. They didn't have to kill AJ.

SK was told that his return to the show was not a stunt, but in the end it was still a stunt. Alan James Quartermaine Jr. should still be alive on this show driving story for the next few decades with his bickering wife and multiple children from various relationships. TIIC are too busying bringing on a multitude of newbies and shirtless men that can't act to worry about a legacy character being killed off. RC had no problem killing off OLTL'S Starr's baby, her boyfriend and Tea's baby boy, so why would killing off AJ suddenly become a big deal to GH fans?

RC killed off OLTL's Victory Lord Jr. and then brought him back from the dead when the show went off the air in 2012.

It would have made more sense for Monica to whisk AJ away after he woke up once the doctor declared him "dead" after telling his mother that Sonny shot him, Ava killed Connie, Carly knows Sonny shot him, and Ava is trying to kill him. AJ in a coma off screen makes more sense that another Quartermaine funeral.

@Poker face: SK DID QUT the show because he was fed up with the writing for his character! Read the TV Guide article about him again from a few weeks ago!

TV Guide:
Kanan tells TV Guide Magazine his exit from GH was by mutual decision.
"I was utterly thrilled to be brought back to GH for the 50th anniversary and really enjoyed working with [executive producer] Frank Valentini, but I was not over the moon about the writing," Kanan says. "Doing stories about panic attacks and relish was not what I thought I'd signed up for. I feel I brought everything I could to the character yet it was obvious they weren't going to give me a great love story, which I found very disappointing."
Romantic relationships, he says, are "the bread and butter of daytime, and you can only survive on a show for so long without one. I could see the writing on the wall. I spoke with Frank and we mutually agreed that if I wasn't happy, and they could find a good way to write me out, that it was best to wrap it up."

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