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« The Truth Is Out. Let's Whisper About It! | Main | There Is A D.I.D. Joke Somewhere That I Am Too Tired To Make »

May 29, 2014

Pregnancy Test(ing My Patience)

I know it feels like Ava Jerome has been a part of our lives for forever--right? Like, I feel like I've been confused by the inconsistent writing she's gotten, Claudia Zacchara style ("You keep saying she's BAD, but she also gets SAD! TWO DIMENSIONS, BITCH!"), for at least five years, but it's only been twelve months of being alternately disgusted, baffled and bored by her. She made an impression very quickly, I guess. It's just that the impression is "Ew...why?"--so it's easy to forget that she doesn't know all of the subtle nuances of life in Port Charles.

Like, when a furious Sonny came to her and threatened to kill her for her evil deeds, like killing Connie and basically being wholly responsible for AJ's death as well, if you really look at the facts, she attempted to weasel her way out of certain death by announcing that she's pregnant.

(Which...obviously. Of course she is going to be pregnant. OF COURSE. This show has never met a baby storyline it hasn't unnecessarily added to its already crowded canvas. And this is DRAMATIC because Ava is using it to save her own skin, again, much like Claudia before her, and WHO COULD HAVE SEEN THIS COMING?!, except for most people, who have been predicting either this plot twist or Sonny and Ava marrying each other for testimony reasons)

And I get what she was going for here but...pregnancy is nowhere near an automatic stay of execution, because the man has had absolutely zero qualms about threatening the mothers of his children with death.

Sonny: Can we just leave this alone?
Alexis: That's what I'm trying to do here.
Sonny: Keep your distance from her. You got to respect the fact that he's just trying to protect her, right? Sam doesn't like you; you don't like her. Keep your distance, otherwise -- hey, whatever Jason does, Jason does.

Sonny: Shut up! And listen. You're gonna pay attention, 'cause I'm not gonna say this more than once. You have gone too far, and I've had it. Now...you are the mother of my children. So is Olivia. It's very simple. If she dies, you die.

Sonny is terrible. I guess Ava just didn't know HOW terrible.

(Also...really, if she's pregnant with Morgan's child, she ought to keep an eye out for Carly, who would absolutely kill her rather than let her make Carly a grandmother)

Comments

she seemed pretty sure it was Sonny's - "our family" - so hopefully that means it's Morgan's* which she will miscarry, because for the love of the soap gods, NO MORE BABIES.

*His reaction will be (if in character), "will abortion clinics accept sticks of gum for payment?!"

and for the love of the super love gods, do not let Ava miscarry and then implant herself with last lante embryo. NO.

I am really starting to hate babies, ugh. Here we go again with another back to back to back to back baby story!

I desperately want this maybe-baby to be Morgan's. Carly's head will explode like never before!

If this child does come to term, and it IS the spawn of Orange Glow and Jessica Rabbit, then Ava will be giving birth to one of those Troll dolls.

The Corninthos genes make that a given.

UGH. that's all I can say. UGH. and please cancel this show.

There are many things about this show that just don't work but Ava Jerome as played by Maura West is not one of them. Maura West is a great actress and gives consistently stellar performances. I even enjoy Maurice Benard when acting against her (save "crypt sex" obviously.) I thought the acting was really good in the Sonny v. Ava scenes albeit predictable.

I really enjoyed Wednesday and Thursday's episodes and looking forward to today. LiRic were glorious together, Nik/Alexis all always delightful together (Tyler Christopher looked great) and there was movement in the Fluke story.

All of this, and yet the show fails on so many levels because the dialogue is weak and the stories have terrible pacing. Far too many characters on the canvas and zero focus. Tracy should never be so dumbed-down to gloss over the fact that Luke held a gun on Ned. I just can't accept that.

I like LiRic and think Rebecca Herbst and Rick Hearst have great chemistry but it's clear that LiRic are just a pit-stop along the way to Niz. LiRic has been accelerated versus being woven in. It's clear to me that Ric is the new "A.J." so why should I invest?

And then there is Kiki, Franco and Silas none of whom work. Kiki and Michael having sex was beyond stomach-turning. Carly and Franco are silly and ridiculous; Silas and Sam are human Ambien...so boring and soon they will bring Nina to swallow up the show. Just ugh.

Please show, cut the canvas in 1/2, get a co-headwriter with some focus.

The other "OF COURSE" moment was Real Luke being trapped in the looney bin and being visited by Fluke (who has to be either Jerry Jacks or Faison, right?) just before the impostor prepares to lure the newly dumbed-down Tracy away from PC so he can kill her and claim an inheritance (probably). Which makes the PCPD and the General Hospital staff look utterly incompetent YET AGAIN for falling for this stunt twice in less than two years. Are we sure Guza isn't back?

And yes, sadly, Ric IS the new AJ. I hope Hearst is making some decent money this time around, because it's about to be 2006 all over again.

Does anybody know where I can send my contribution to the Have Sonny Spayed and Neutered Fund? Anybody?

Allow me to quote the always fantastic Nancy Lee Grahn:

I think it's time we talk about the obvious. Sonny's Sperm. How is it that these miraculous swimmers have not yet been studied by AMA, CDC, NSTC & NASA. Sonny's Sperm are faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings, and can penetrate the egg of any women anywhere anytime with or without physical contact. Sonny is not a particularily large or hairy man, so it is fair to assume that his testosterone appears to be at normal levels. However, as far as I know no one has tested it for Kryptonite. An oversight for sure. If any of you can explain the SSP or Sonny Sperm Phenomenon please feel free to leave your comments below. Warning: While there's no emperical evidence that just writing about SSP will result in pregnancy, I encourage all women (and perhaps even men) to type with gloves.

I've been thinking about how the writing has gone back to the way it was with Guza. I think I know why. I'm not 100% sure but I'm assuming that when Guza and JPP was fired that the rest of the production and writing team was intact? The only difference was the change in those in charge. Therefore the writers who have written for Guza for years stayed on.

You can't expect someone to start writing differently when they have written the same type of stories for years. We are talking ten to twenty years. Guza stayed on for a long time even though his writing was terrible. It's obvious that someone higher up liked him, maybe even someone beyond Brian Frons.

Either way it's obvious that those in charge care little to nothing about the fans and what WE want. This show doesn't belong to RC or FV. It belongs to the fans because without us it wouldn't exist. I honestly don't watch GH at all because of how terrible it is now. It's sad because I spent years watching this show from 2001-2011 and now I just don't have the energy to watch it get destroyed. This is especially true as I've watching AMC and OLTL disappear from my screen.

Also I wanted Melissa to know how great that quote from Nancy Lee Grahn is. Why? Because it's so true! This is something that is just so ridiculous. There is no way that someone can get pregnant from this guy on a single try. I think that the only time it hasn't worked was when Claudia wanted to get pregnant in the months before her death. This guy is getting old too. He must be in his early 50s. Is this medically possible? I honestly do not think so.

I remember laughing when a Sonny apologist wanted to say that Sonny wasn't that bad and to stop making magic sperm comments. This was pre Dante where he only had two biological children. What this person seemed to have forgotten is all of the women he has impregnated over the years. If all of his children had lived he would have 7 children along with Michael. So if Ava carries to term then that 8 children that either lived or died with his genetic material inside them. Sadly I think that there are going to be more long lost children in the future. He ran a strip club after all. You can't tell me he didn't take advantage of those girls. I know he did.

RC/FV cleaned house when they came on board and there are only 2 old GH writers (Kate Hall and Katherine ??).....

I just want to know how GH had the highest May sweeps ratings in 7 years. The show is awful

Actually, LJMartiz, guys have been known to impregnate women well into their 70's. Gross but true!

Yeah but Ava Jerome is what? 50, at least? Sonny's old sperm might be able to impregnate a much younger woman, but older sperm is an additional drag on an older woman's fertility. The chances are really really low.

I think Ava is only around 45 or so, because she really could be paired up with Ric instead of Ric/Liz or even with Nik.

the actress who plays Ava is 42

Too much mob? Maybe MB wanted more mob stories and got his wish?

Carly as a grandmother?????!!!!!! HOLY COW!! Sonny with another child????!!!!! Don't know what is worse...UGH... so done

This show is now officially a joke. Re-Ron repeats everything. What others have done on GH and what he and others did on OLTL' No one is surprised Ava is pregnant. Sonny is being told he is the donor. Just can't call him a father ,just can't. Devil spawn is coming if they are the parents. I cannot bring myself to actually watch this show anymore. I just read the blogs and comment. What Guza and his goons didn't think of to ruin the show FrankenRon have. I hate to say it but everywhere I go bloggers say this is bad and they have had enough. Ron thinks he is so cleaver on twitter, His way or the highway, Route 66 here I come.

Even at 42, it could be hard to conceive if MB's older than she is. Her chances would be a lot better with a young guy like Morgan.

Truly--the ratings are good enough that the show had its best May sweeps in years? That's a verifiable numerical fact (as opposed to some kind of ABC spin)?

Well, there goes any hope, then, that someone will intervene and put this show back on track.

It's mind boggling, really. I get the sense that I think the show is slightly better than most people on here, and still somewhat better than during the JFP-Guza years (in that when I decide to tune in, I find it somewhat watchable--most days, though not on Carly-Franco days), but it's hardly the kind of compelling stuff that should be generating those kinds of ratings (I haven't felt the need to watch steadily or consistently since the return of the former One Life to Live actors in their new and terrible roles), and there is just so much that's wrong with it, on so many levels.

I can only chalk it up to how bad things were under Guza and JFP, as opposed to how "terrific" things are now--but unfortunately TPTB don't appreciate such subtleties and will just take the high ratings as evidence that what they're doing is working and that we want more Franco-Carly, more mob, more Obrecht (whom I like but after the Nurses Ball debacle--my jaw actually dropped--I am forced to agree with those who have been complaining that she's being allowed to swallow the show), more camp (fine when used sparingly, irritating when there's too much of it), and more dumbing-down (especially of intelligent female characters).

i havent read all the other comments but i am sure someone else has pointed out that even in 'soap time' Ava and Sonny only had sex at most a month ago … AND wasn't Ava just thanking some lackey for offering to bring her a cocktail?? She declined because she was 'leaving' but praised his mixology skills … i hate stuff like this … really …

Melissa, what a great quote! I was thinking the same thing about Sonny's miracle sperm and why fertility docs aren't swooping in to patent whatever it is he's got.

Michael, some of us who boycott ABC are still watching GH out of principle. I wonder if we're having an effect on the ratings. That was the point of doing it in the first place, but with this dreck it seems a mixed blessing.

Daryl, most women would know they were pregnant within a month. It's hard to ignore a late period.

LJMartiz and Trippyjr, from what I've pieced together re Ava's age at Kiki's birth, she's in her 40s, so while it's highly unlikely, it is actually possible. But RC has now run two storylines in which a woman got pregnant within hours of miscarrying (Stacy on OLTL and Maxie on GH), which IS a medical impossibility, so it's not like these guys actually care about scientific accuracy in any way.

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