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« The Fosters: Things Unknown | Main | The 2014 Daytime Emmys Live-Blogging Extravaganza »

June 17, 2014

Kids Say The Most Insightful Things

I am, probably, and I don't say this to toot my own horn, but I feel confident in my own abilities: I am the most predictable person on the planet (somewhere, General Hospital gasped a dramatic gasp and screamed "But you're always on MY case for "PREDICTABILITY" and you always do it in ALL CAPS, because you are CRAZY and also A HYPOCRITE", to which I respond that this is entirely different because...of reasons). I'm not proud, I am just saying; I know myself, warts and all ("You're super warty", General Hospital scoffs).
And I probably didn't even need to phrase it like that, like it was a grand pronouncement or anything, because you've been reading this blog long enough to know that I am remarkably consistent in my reaction to almost everything: you know I'll hate a mob story, you know I'll have to rewind scenes featuring bad hair and clothing at least five times because I'll be so distracted by the bad hair and clothing that I will completely cease paying attention to anything storyline related, which isn't always a loss, but; and you know that I get super-involved in big sporting events and will look for any reason to hamfistedly mention the, say...World Cup for example (guys, I am obsessed. We show it at work and it was set to a Spanish channel, and listening to it in Spanish was even more exciting, if only because it seemed to be faster paced and punctuated by a super animated "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!").So you totally know what the highlight of today's episode was: Sam and Nina's dramatic--I can't finish typing the words, even in jest. No, you know what I liked best was Josslyn because:

  • I love sassy soap children and I've felt a profound emptiness ever since Cam was recast. What sassy soap child could fill that void? Spencer tries--oh good lord, does Spencer try--but to no avail. Who could compete with the child who made the facial expression that then coined the mantra "Bitch, please?" Certainly not the new Cameron! But Josslyn has an edge to her that both amuses and fears me. She makes me laugh and also think of the child villain in a particularly unsettling Lifetime movie. I'm intrigued, either way.
  • She called out the FUCKING WEIRDNESS and GODDAMN AWFULNESS of Franco and Carly playing house without ever actually using those phrases, on account of network censors.

Joss

I can't be the only one who was gagging--well, maybe I was the only one quite that melodramatic--at the show staging Franco moving in as something HILARIOUS and ZANY. "Ohmigod, you guys, he's so wacky with his art and Carly is all "Whaaaa?" How loud are you laughing? Do you need to pause the show while you catch your breath?" and I was just about to launch into a screed about his horrendousness when Joss neatly did it for me (Morgan also made an impressive case against Franco, calling him "a freaking serial killer" and being disgusted by Michael's half-hearted attempt to explain away his villainy with "There was a video...and the whole brain tumor thing". Something about Morgan's misery is so delightful to me. The more awful his life gets, the funnier he is, thanks to Bryan Craig delivering all of his lines like he's dead inside).

Carly: Let's get yourself unpacked so you can settle into your new home.
Joss: Over my dead body.
Carly: Josslyn, that wasn't a nice thing to say!
Joss: It wasn't supposed to be nice. I don't want you here.

Joss: That was before.
Franco: Before what?
Joss: Before I found out what a psycho you are.

Joss: Display this [uses her entire body weight to kick Franco in the knee]

Joss: I'm sorry.
Franco: It's okay.
Joss: Sorry you're a psycho!

I know that all of this hilarity will probably be neatly undone when something awful happens to Joss that will be blamed squarely on the Jacks family and Franco is the only one who can save her, but let me have my moment, okay? Let me watch a child live out my dream of kicking Franco! It's not like Port Charles has anything else remotely entertaining to offer...

Comments

I was very, very disappointed Joss and Morgan didn't get to mock and shame Franco together.

I'm going to enjoy Joss's deserved and well-explained hate of Franco for as long as it lasts because, sooner or later, they'll be BFF and we'll be expected to swoon at how cute it is and that Roger Howarth is just so great with kids blah blah blah.

And I did appreciate Morgan also calling foul and fleeing to SERIAL KILLER free lodgings as soon as possible.

I see the show has now moved on to plan 99 which is to bring out the kids so that Franco, excuse me, Todd Manning can save the day! Been there, done that on OLTL!

On a serious note, it is time for RC/FV to pull the plug on Franco and bring back Genie Francis or put any number of vets like Ned, Ric,Jax etc.. back on contract. Franco has got to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Argh. This episode was actively annoying. Josslyn was okay but I'm fatigued by the number of kids featured on the show. How long before she is attached to Cameron/Emma/Spencer to create a love quadrangle.

Why are saddled with Franco, Kiki, Silas, Nina and Nathan? Franco and Kiki actively annoy regardless of their screen partners while Silas, Nina, Nathan are just complete bores. When Sam is tossed into that mix, it's human Ambien.

ODG....Sam and Nina in the same room is seriously the biggest yawner EV-ER. Hey I've got an idea. Let's get Sam to offer to take Nina for a walk and then roll her in front of a bus. Win win for everyone!

"Human Ambien"...perfect description. There are several characters I'd like to see under a bus....let's see, Sam, Silas, Olivia, Sabrina, Franco, Sean, T.J. , Sonny, Carly, that Australian guy with Maxie, whats-his-name, wow the list keeps growing and it makes me very sad for my GH. I keep hanging in there hoping for a miracle. Sigh....

Ya know, I'd take Sonny and Carly any day of the week over Silas, Sam (when with Silas), Nina, Nathan, Levi, Maxie (when with Nathan or Levi), Shawn, Rafe, Brad, Olbrecht, Sabrina, Duke, Julian, Franco and Kiki. I know Sonny and Carly are reviled around these parts but the characters (when not with Shawn or Franco, respectively) engage me. I know these characters and respect these actors. I cannot say the same about the ever-expanding list of expendables! In the day and age of shrinking soap opera budgets, how can GH afford to employ such a huge cast of actors. I which the show were focused on a smaller, more agile, cast of characters (outside of the aforementioned group of "expendables") improved the quality of the sets and the quality of the writing.

I agree with both of soapbaby's posts. I wish the show would focus more on quality, not quantity. There are TOO MANY characters. The block taping means they disappear for weeks at a time, ruining any kind of momentum or connection with them. Not all the newbies are bad, but there are a couple of "actors" who I think are just dreadful and it is painful to watch them try to emote while center stage in a front burner story.

Franco is just not working. Putting him into the kiddie stories is a futile attempt to make him some sort of whacky uncle. The show has no idea what to do with him. I was generally OK with his yammering shtick as Todd (not always) but when it comes from a "reformed" serial killer it's just obnoxious, and often Carly acts like she's a mother shushing her annoying 10-year-old son.

Silas and Nina in an apartment having an endless conversation is getting boring, so I am ready for Nina to turn all bat sh*t crazy and start to shake things up! I could enjoy that!

Personally, I can't stand the newbies, but if it meant Sonny and Carly would leave for good I'd happily keep them all forever. It's possible that used correctly by far more deft hands many of these characters have some potential, while it just keeps getting driven home that Sonny has been the root of all suckage on this show (along with Jason of course) forever and continues to be, even though the breaks from him have been nice. I do hate LW's Carly less than I hated the previous Carlys, but.

I would understand the Nina thing more if it were a short time stint. Since it isn't, I really don't see the point of making her creepy and crazy. Unless it's to emphasize that this town already has about 15 other really annoying resident psychos and Ron doesn't write for anyone else. Can we negotiate with other shows to trade them all for Stefano or somebody?

Agree, Silverstone, spent a large chunk of the week wishing someone would at least shoot Sonny in the throat so he couldn't talk ever again. ;)

I'm so glad to see your blog is still here. I stopped watching GH a few years ago, but once in a great while (It's been about two years) I like to stop in here and try to catch up on whatever is happening. It's kind of like revisiting an old friend. lol Or not, because I quit watching because of the stupid Sonny mob crap. I keep hoping someday, Sonny will die. I know, I know, Frank, and that black book actually kicked off the first of the mob stories, but it seems like GH just can't stop itself from producing more stupid Sonny stories. Nothing could keep me watching, not even bringing Heather back.

I'm totally lost on some of the stories now, but the girl playing Josslyn seems quite perfect. Maybe she'll grow up to give her mother more trouble than Carly ever caused. :)

I didn't think anyone could be better than fat-headed Joss, but this girl is a worthy recast!

maybe joss will sleep w/whatever man carly is bedding when joss get older.

i'm sick of the newbies from other shows that take time from GH vets. not everybody watched OLTL or YR so these are just new actors taking up gh characters time.

They found the perfect child actress to replicate Carly's resting bitch face. LOL

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