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« Beacon Hill: Surprise! | Main | Dullsville. Population: All Of Us »

July 08, 2014

The Fosters: Say Something

The Moms are making the crew clean out the garage.

Family cleaning day

Mariana and Jesus make a clever move or two trying to conceal a beer bottle from the party (so we're never going to learn how much trouble they got in or how much Stef and Lena found out about the party??), and it slips out that Lena's having a girl, which leads to Mariana doing some teasing that the boys are outnumbered now. Mariana apparently hasn't been keeping up in math class, because from my count this news means three boys and three girls. If she's counting Moms, the boys were already outnumbered. This is probably not the important part.

Callie tells Jude about Sophia and makes it clear to him that he counts as her brother, first and foremost, and her interest in reaching out to her long-lost half sister is contingent upon his approval. And he's Jude, so he plays it cool, because Jude. Speaking of which, Jude gives Connor the full cold shoulder treatment when Connor apologizes for lying about having stood up to his dad to attend the Fosters house party. Jude still doesn't want to be anyone's secret.

Timothy tells Lena that she'll be hearing from an attorney regarding his rights to the baby. She is shocked. Shocked! Who knew that knocking herself up at home with a turkey baster full of some dude's semen before he even signed a contract could ever go wrong?!

In the gym, Mariana learns that someone was kicked off Dance Team for breaking the rules that all of them broke at the party because the one is all over YouTube or something. I'm struggling to recap this scene a bit because I don't have all the teens' names down. I know Kaitlyn is the blond one, but the brunette who slept with Jesus at the party is there, too, making eyes at Jesus.

Hayley checking out wrasslin' jesus

Wrestling boys

Emma turns up and pitches friendship to Jesus, but he blows her off. Brunette Hookup tells Mariana about said hookup and how Jesus never called her afterwards. Hayley! Her name is Hayley. Mariana yells at Jesus for it and demands that he call her.

Wyatt and Callie are making out on the beach and she pretends sex is a parole violation instead of just telling him to slow down. She looks really uncomfortable about it and if her pulling back from Wyatt is about Brandon again I will cry and throw things. Wyatt tells her he loves her. I like Wyatt. To be fair, I like Wyatt for two reasons: (1) He is not Brandon and (2) he is better than Brandon and (3) they are not related. It's a low bar. Also, he has pretty hair.

Lou notices some "history" vibes between Brandon and Callie, but he's defensive about it. Signs point to "dammit" in terms of escaping the whole Callie/Brandon thing when other characters are noticing it. Lou basically tries to strong-arm Brandon into using the love song he wrote for Callie in their band, so we're going to be subjected to this forever and ever for all of eternity and I will be sad.

Stef and Lena wonder if Timothy is bringing up this whole attorney thing the day before Lena gets reviewed for the potential principal gig on purpose. I feel like the show wants us to see Timothy as totally in the wrong here, but I'm sorry. They made a dumb, dumb, irresponsible decision. (To further my sense that they're trying to paint Timothy as the bad guy, he's pushy and inappropriate during the search committee's review, specifically bringing up her pregnancy and due date.) (Is that legal?) Lena calls him out privately and tells him he has no integrity.

The Dance Team auditions some new girls. Kaitlyn's friend Jenna auditions, but so does a very good dancer named Tia. Mariana ends up being the only one to vote for Jenna and there's some confusion about why. She thinks she was supposed to vote for Jenna because she was Kaitlyn's friend and then says she just doesn't think Tia will fit in, and Kaitlyn wonders if it's because Tia's black. I'm not quite sure what's going on with all of this, but none of it bodes well for Mariana. She asks her mother a bunch of questions about the school's diversity policies for clubs. Maybe she thinks she was a "token" selection and might lose her spot on the team if it gets more diverse? I can't quite tell.

Stef takes Callie to meet Sophia and the family.

Fancytime house

Meet the seestra

The family is super-rich and Robert Quinn looks pretty guilty when he hears more about Callie's varying hardships. Many, many unsubtle pains are taken to show the class and privilege contrasts between the lives of these two sisters.

Sophia and her mama

Sophia and Callie go upstairs to bond. Basically we learn that Sophia has way too much pressure in her life for someone her age, and Callie admits that she's in love with her boyfriend Wyatt but is nervous to tell him because of her past with Brandon. (It feels like a betrayal. You know, she's betraying her foster brother by being in love with her boyfriend.) (Ew.)

Sisterly bonding

Robert tells Stef how much he regrets having left Colleen because of his family's demands and asks if he can set up a college fund for Callie. This is fulfilling the fantasy of every child in America, whether adopted or not. Didn't we all dream that our "real" long-lost family who really loved us and was super-un-strict was out there somewhere with a huge mansion full of toys? (I'm still waiting for my wealthy great aunt benefactor to come out of hiding here, folks. I'm not getting any younger and someone needs to subsidize me so I can focus on only writing!)

Hayley is primping to see Jesus and asks to borrow Mariana's toothbrush. Mariana is appropriately horrified, but still lets her use it. She also finds out the real reason she was selected for the Dance Team was that the girls thought Lena was going to be the new principal and they thought they'd keep their club status and funding if her daughter was one of them.

Speaking of which, Lena doesn't get the gig. The selection committee chose an outsider, someone corporate. Timothy, however, did vote for her and also signed the donor agreement relinquishing his rights to the baby. Stef fills Lena in on the visit to the Quinns and suggests that they let Timothy actually be a part of the baby's life, asking if perhaps more love could be a good thing. (Or you know, more money. Whichever comes first. Because lord knows The Adams-Fosters are going to continue collecting children like they are glass figurines, and children are not cheap.)

Hayley and Jesus make out and Hayley asks him to keep them a secret for now. Meanwhile Emma stops by and Mariana covers for him. D'oh!

Callie tells Brandon to let Lou have his love song for her and then invites Wyatt over to tell him she loves him. Yay! For now.

Apparently Jude is currently refusing to speak. Or can't speak? I don't know. Jude!

Jude won't speak

Oh no! No bad things can happen to Jude!

They really love to jam-pack these episodes. Doing a straight recap of this is so different from covering a daytime soap, where it's a lot of, "And then person X and Y have the same conversation they've had every day for a month and one of them almost confesses again but doesn't and then across town someone is vomiting exposition everywhere and then someone gets shot four times in the heart and face and lives."

But I digress.


I have loved you since your first OLTL recap. But you kill me with this Brandon/Callie hate. How do you not see the chemistry and the pure soapiness of it all? I am sadly closer to 30 than 16 and I had to download Outlaws just so I can swoon to it on my commute to work.

Wyatt is going to get his heart broken. She told him they couldn't sleep together because of her parole. (and as an aside, don't we all wish we had such a fabulous excuse in our pocket?). If that's not a sign of doomed love, I'm not sure what is.

Agree with everything else in the recap except I can't see Robert as anything other than Jack McPhee. The show is definitely getting too jam packed- we haven't seen Mike or hit on the Dani or Ana plot points in forever. I like the Quinns but I'm not sure we can absorb a whole new family even in a recurring kind of way.

Lauren, I'm afraid I'm immovable on this one! Besides the basic idea turning my stomach, I like Callie and I can't stand Brandon. I just want better for her. But even if I liked him... nope. No can do! But it's clear the show wants us to root for them, so it's my one constant bugaboo.

Yeah, where is Mike, even? We haven't seen him in a couple weeks. Maybe Robert, Timothy, and Mike are all at a bar somewhere drowning their sorrows together.

I completely agree about the yuckiness of Callie and Brandon (although I like Brandon just fine - and Wyatt's hair TOTALLY freaks me out). But if we're supposed to buy this family as a family, they need to let those two be siblings already.

Yes on the horrors of Brandon/Callie and the awesomeness of Wyatt for not being Brandon.

I am not a fan of Callie/Brandon, but I don't care for Wyatt either, so I'm very meh on the issue. However, the song Outlaws is absolute perfection. I'm also not too crazy about Lou, she's soooo pushy, but it brings something different to the table so I'm going with it.

As for Mariana, she DID think she was the diversity token as she had overheard Kaitlyn tell Jenna recently that Jenna should've made the team and that Mariana only got in because of the diversity factor. The way I understood Mariana's vote for Jenna is that now that the team had diversity in Mariana, they didn't need Tia for the diversity and hence, everyone would vote for Jenna as she was Kaitlyn's friend. I believe that the dance team and its clique-ish nature is the source of most evil at that school. Ughh.

NO! Nothing can be wrong with Jude!

Great recap, as always.

I just can’t with the whole Callie & Brandon thing. When the characters were first introduced he was just kind of there like a beige wall; very unassuming and non-threatening. Then things took a turn for the skeevy. I don’t care that they met 2 seconds ago on the brink of adulthood. Is he that narcissistic that he can’t see what Callie really needs and deserves? He should read an article or two; most kids her age just age out of the system.

She needs parents more than a boyfriend. Parents are forever significant others don’t have a guarantee. And I feel like shouting it from the mountain tops, they met as foster siblings! 'Sibling' should be nowhere near the descriptors for your love interest. Maybe it’s just me, I rarely watch shows (or movies for that matter) for the romantic story lines. I want to see the mundane little things, what makes a family a family.

I usually hate it when plots are just dropped never to be seen or heard from again like they never happened. However in this case I will gladly make an exception, since for me that little scenario never occurred. Make it happen show.

TLDR: NO! to Brandon & Callie

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