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« General Hospital: Color Blind | Main | The Fosters: Collateral Damage »

August 29, 2016

General Hospital: What Are We PHYSICALLY In Possession Of Today?

  • I am delighted -- delighted, I tell you! -- to see that Lulu and Dante's new house is NOT PURPLE! (It doesn't even fit into the larger purples/grays/blues scheme going on, there's actual warm colors in there!) (Well, the furniture is bluish-purple, though. Let's not get crazy. But the walls! The walls have browns and rusts!)

  • There's some boring nonsense about diamonds and whether or not Elizabeth is in "physical possession" of them, which is concerning to Hayden. 

  • Steven Lars shout-out! Is he still in prison, I assume? Does he know his brother is a serial killer, and does it bother him that his serial killer brother roams free dating his sister while he himself is in prison for an assisted suicide for a terminal patient? So we know that Elizabeth and Hayden are half-sisters, but are we meant to know that before today's episode? Has the show come out and said it, or have they just been making it abundantly obvious? And speaking of Elizabeth's siblings (it's all in the family, as she is now dating her brother's brother), where the hell is Sarah?! There have only been three thousand twelve perfect opportunities to bring her back over the past several years and nada. If they absolutely had to give Bree Williamson a paycheck, there was a more obvious road to take. Will they forget that this big reveal also means Sarah has a long-lost sister? Bless Heather Webber's heart as she is a walking General Hospital history book (seriously, every time she shows up she's a wealth of knowledge, which of course means the writers are aware of all this history, so it begs a lot of questions I certainly don't need to spell out for any of you), and she definitely mentions Sarah as a relevant human. 1, 2, 3 Webber girls!

1 2

5 4

Heather Webber is a Port Charles treasure and we are damn lucky to still have her.

  • She also suggests that there's a legit family resemblance, and she's not wrong. Neither Elizabeth nor Hayden ever age, and they both have perfect skin and ridiculously shiny hair! And giant eyes.And smug bitchfaces.


  • And they both love slapping each other and calling each other bitches. Both of those things occur today, and Finn witnesses the slap.

8 10 9

  • He is startled indeed! Heather really doesn't want Franco to tell Liz the truth, but he simply must because telling her the truth will help their relationship get off on a better foot or something. Maybe he should describe every second of what it felt like to kidnap her newborn child, that'd be a fun truth-telling date activity! Later, he and Elizabeth briefly miss each other at the hospital (after Liz decides to take the stairs after pressing the elevator button like 41 times as if that'll make it turn up faster).

  • Robert Scorpio is here! Which is great. There's a lot of chatter about the Cassadine history, and how Valentin is the Cassadine that even all other Cassadines fear. (As no Cassadines have been scary in ages, it's a low bar.) Lulu is obsessed with something surviving an explosion, so I'm assuming she's talking about her frozen eggs? Frozen embryos? (Ugh, remember when Rayanne totally choked when she sang for that band that time? Poor Rayanne.) (Were you an Angela or a Sharon? Or a Rayanne? Or a Brian or a Ricky?) (I don't believe any of you if you say you were a Jordan.) (I was a Rayanne. Sorry, old friends!) Dante is very annoyed about Lulu's obsession with this darn embryo, but she goes ahead and fills Robert in on the issue. "It's my last chance at a child which is biologically mine," she says. Sure, she has a child that is biologically hers already but she's got not just baby-rabies but birth-giving rabies, so okay, here we are. As the episode goes on, I'm seeing far more blue and gray and purple at the Spencer-Falconeri abode. Damn. It was a nice moment.

Is that a boom mic shadow in the upper left corner there??

  • There's a bunch of stuff about the hospital killer and they're trying to make us think it's Andre and various characters start suspecting that too and Jordan asks Ava some questions based on her gallery knowledge and blah blah blah. The camera lingers awkwardly on people's faces for a long time. Paul's got a syringe for something. Ava has a flashback to pillow talk with Paul and he had the suspicious coin as a cuff link or something, who cares.

  • While Elizabeth is taking the stairs there is a power failure at the hospital and as she's trying to use the flashlight on her phone someone pushes her down the stairs. Oh no! Will Elizabeth die?? (Spoiler alert: No.)


"Lulu is obsessed with something surviving an explosion, so I'm assuming she's talking about her frozen eggs? Frozen embryos?"

They're not just frozen embryos, it's an embryo Stavros made from an egg he harvested from her when he kidnapped her and stuck her in a freezer. So yeah, about ten seconds after finding out her last embryo with Dante is no longer viable, Lulu is determined to have the baby of the man who kidnapped her, threatened to rape her, and stuck her in a freezer, never mind what he did to Laura. Even though she already has a biological child we never see.

Her baby rabies have hit an all-new level.

Oh C, I remember the Stavros embryos allllll too well. (shudders)

I was Rayanne too.

As far as TFGH, I got nothing.

Didn't Heather get part of her history lesson wrong? Someone on another site pointed out that Heather was not Jeff Webber's first wife as she said.

On another note, I thought Robin looked really bad, like "maybe she's been sick" bad. There was something about her eyes that looked strange and weirdly droopy. Hope she's OK.

Yes SZima, as i recall, Jeff was married to Monica first.

I'm not sure Heather herself said she was Jeff's first wife -- Franco said she felt jilted because she was "the first wife" and he'd then married Elizabeth's mother, and Heather said hypothetically that was possible. I can see why Franco wouldn't split hairs about it, but I highly doubt Heather Webber would ever forget that Jeff was married to Monica! Even the current stable of writers have acknowledged that history fairly recently.

Although it's possible I missed something.

Also, can we talk about how ridiculous it is that the writers passed on an opportunity to FINALLY give Liz's mom a name?

It would be a good story if Sam was pregnant with Lulu&Stavros embryo.

We'll never know who Elizabeth's mom is. This story will be all about Hayden.

Elizabeth has been on this show for 20 years and we have never seen nor found out what her mother's name is. Hayden has a mother but not Elizabeth. Nina for crying out loud had a story line with her mother but not Elizabeth. EVERYONE ON THIS EFFING SHOW HAS HAD A STORY LINE INVOLVING THEIR MOTHER BUT ELIZABETH! On a lighter note, Becky Herbst and Rebecca Budig did a delightful interview in SOD, where Becky mentioned that she had thought that Budig should play Sarah Webber.

I just can't comment on the mess that is GH, but wanted to tell you that I'm so happy that you are writing on here again!
I thought of you when I heard the Kassie Depaiva news.
Keep writing!

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