Serial Drama

Soap Blog Coalition

Daytime Confidential's Melodie discusses Soap Done Good on ABC's One Life to Live (Daytime Confidential)

First look: "Venice" images and sneak previews at Michael Fairman Soaps. (Michael Fairman Soaps)

Guza may not acknowledge baby Emma's birthday, but he does listen and writes what the audience wants...in his own twisted way. (Scrubs Hub)

It's November in Port Charles, and we all know what that means: kidnapping, murder and liberal use of the word "whore". Oh, GH Sweeps. How we hate you. (Serial Drama)

The soaps goddess reaches out to General Hospital's Claudia Zacchara Corinthos. (Soap Opera Examiner)

Where "AMC" Stands For Atrocious, Miserable, Contemptible

I just can't with this show. I hate it. All of it! Even aspects of the show that I used to reliably see as a beacon of light amidst the dark, dank majority of the show have driven me to the point that when I say that this show has robbed me of my ability to speak, I mean it. I know I often say "There are no words" and then follow that declaration up with a six thousand word screed filled with run-on sentences and hysteria, but truly, after watching today's episode (what with the Jake/Amanda/David inanity and skeeziness; Erica/Zach/Ryan drugging and emotionally manipulating Adam on the off chance that it will get Annie thrown in jail; Ryan existing), the only thing I can do is attempt to write a list of things I hate more than I hate AMC. And I could only come up with clowns, people who don't use turn signals and the song "What's Up?" by 4 Non Blondes!

Am I being too critical? Does the show have any redeeming qualities that I am missing? Or am I correct in stating that it is the worst ever to ever be the worst?

Soap Blog Coalition

Guiding Light and One Life to Live star Gina Tognoni dishes about her "exciting" return to One Life to Live with Daytime Confidential. (Daytime Confidential)

This week the Pine Valley Bulletin takes on the "big reveal" of Stuart's killer. *yawn* (Pine Valley Bulletin)

This week at The Scrubs Hub we have one simple question for you: What will happen next for Robin & Patrick? (Scrubs Hub)

The Serial Drama girls are longstanding Jonathan Jackson fans, but think it will take some time to adjust to him as Lucky again. No amount of time, however, will make them adjust to his beard. (Serial Drama)

Claudia's time is clearly running out of time in a big way these days in Port Charles...Sigh, if f I had a TRIGGER button on my remote control, Claudia would have been a done deal month's ago. (Soap Examiner)

Sunday Surgery finds the Wubqueen pondering the blow-ups offering clues to the Franco mystery. Could it really be all about Alkazar--AGAIN? What do you think? (Wubs)

Pratt, Prat, Prattle: Are We Sensing A Theme Here?

I'm having a difficult time wrapping my head around the reveal of Stuart's murderer. Not because I am surprised--it's been heavily telegraphed the past few weeks to the point that even Reese, with her blindness and complete obliviousness to the world around her (how sad is it right now that I can look back on the Reese era of this show wistfully?) and even before that, many people guessed that Adam was the culprit. No, I am having a problem coming to terms with the fact that one soap opera storyline could be infused with so much rot.

• The decision to kill off Stuart was terrible.
• The half-assed setup for the murder itself, with the dark and stormy night, and the hysterical raging at Adam for circumstances almost entirely out of his control, and the parents leaving the side of the child they thought was dead to go confront someone who was not responsible for the death at all, was terrible.
• Turning the death (violent, of course) of a much-beloved character into a story almost completely about Kendall being suspected and eventually imprisoned, kind of, for a crime that she only wanted to, but did not commit (because Kendall hasn't had enough over-the-top drama this year) and Annie being crazy and/or crazy like a fox and/or the subject of a Pine Valley witch hunt (because we haven't seen that before) was terrible.
• The writing staff's understanding of the legal system (because picking up tips from Law & Order is out, since reruns of that show are such a rare commodity) was terrible.
• Randomly deciding that Marian existing is too offensive to bear and sending her off to the nuthouse was terrible.
• Having the show tread water for months while the writers came up with a plausible culprit, and having literally nothing happen, was terrible.
• Centering a large chunk of the show on Emma was terrible (not least because Emma scenes mean Ryan scenes, and if there is anything Ryan is good at, it's further souring things).
• The choice to have Adam be the murderer of his twin brother was terrible and while David Canary is going to rock everything related to this shitfest of a story, that doesn't make it any less terrible. If anything, it makes it worse, because they are exploiting David Canary's talent and grace and innate sense of awesome.
• Charles Pratt's crowing to the soap press about how effing clever he is and how shocked the audience will be by this turn of events was--it's not even terrible. Terrible does not do it justice. Atrocious is a bit closer, but still not descriptive enough.

I literally cannot even. All I can say is hate. "Hate hate hate. H!A?T!E? Hate! Hate hate. Hate? !!??!! Haaaaaate." And you know what? That sentence is just one word, repeated, with random punctuation marks, and it hints at an impending psychotic break but it is STILL better written than anything during the Pratt era of AMC.

Soap Blog Coalition

Daytime Confidential's Jamey Giddens interviews The Young and the Restless star Wilson Bethel. They talk about his role as Ryder, working with Sean Kanan and Greg Rikaart and Generation Kill. (Daytime Confidential)

Kimberly McCullough and Jason Thompson's General Hospital Scrubs Team raised $44,878.10 and walked for AIDS Walk LA last weekend, and are currently in top positions individually and as a team. Check out the great pictures from the event! (Scrubs Hub)

Elizabeth Webber's polka dot cardigan has been the sole highlight of GH this week, which has led the Serial Drama girls to wonder if the show should change its name to "Stupid people doing terrible things in an uninteresting fashion." (Serial Drama)

The extended dragged out "Stu-Murder" mystery is driving me up a wall. On top of all of this, the totally irritating promo ABC continues to run about the real murderer being revealed has been way over done and frankly, it's turning my hair gray.  (Soap Opera Examiner)

Great weekend for Wubs! AIDS Walk LA, scoops, tweets and news are all up in the Sunday surgery. (Wubs)

A Star Is Bored

While I have no factual basis for asserting that any of the stars of All My Children are bored, I am willing to wager that this entry's title is actually an understatement, if anything, because this poor group of actors has literally done nothing for the past few months but say the exact same lines of dialogue in every scene they are in, and if it is cripplingly boring for me to watch, can you imagine what it is like to have to constantly repeat those poorly written lines about hating Annie, or hating everyone who hates Annie, or Madison being a life ruiner, and whatnot? They probably lose little pieces of their soul each time they report to the set! I certainly lose little pieces of my soul each time I sit through a full episode which, to be perfectly honest, is rarer and rarer these days, as I've taken to fast forwarding maniacally when I'm disinterested. This led me to once finishing an episode in three minutes...

Ryan, to Annie: You lying, manipulating, twisted bitch.

Ryan was completely correct in his assessment of Annie, and I have described her underdeveloped, soap-crazy, overtanned self using those same terms, but that didn't stop me from reverting to a slightly hysterical first grader and shouting "Takes one to know one!", "I know you are, but what is Annie?", and "Oh, Ryan, why are you talking to yourself out loud?" at my television. I'm not proud.

There is just something about Ryan sneering at others in that hoarse, condescending voice he has that makes me want to stick my head in a microwave.

Failing At Failure, Continued

Um...did anything happen on today's episode of All My Children after the first ten minutes*? Because I heard this:

Zach: Do you think I enjoy this, asking you for a favor?

Ryan: Then why are you doing this?

Zach: Because you're the only one I can trust.

and then my eardrums collapsed upon themselves and I watched the rest of the show as if it were on mute. Which, actually, is not a bad way to watch it!

But ugh! Why must all roads in Pine Valley intersect with 123 Douche Street, Population Ryan?

At least Thorsten Kaye did an excellent job of seeming as though he was choking back vomit as he made that horrible comment about trusting Ryan. And OMFG, how obnoxious was Ryan hesitating and hissyfitting and refusing to just agree to take care of Ian (you know, the child of the woman who is/was one of the many loves of his life), which is what any normal, feeling human being would do in that situation? I always think that the writers have really outdone themselves in terms of Ryan being terrible, but they always manage to surprise me.

*Actually, a lot did, what with some nice Zach and Kendall scenes and more of Ryan failing at life, and shenanigans with Natalia and a gun, and Annie's skin being a color that I have literally never seen before. More this weekend!

Soap Blog Coalition

One Life to Live's Ilene Kristen is a Jane of all trades. Check out an interview with the talented actress at Daytime Confidential. (Daytime Confidential)

Kimberly McCullough and Jason Thompson had personal appearances in New York City last weekend and we've got an exclusive library of photos from the Brokerage event! (Scrubs Hub)

The Serial Drama girls learned the hard way that watching current episodes of All My Children will make you hate your favorite characters, the writing staff, your television set and your immune system. (Serial Drama)

There is something to be said for older characters on the who bring so much wisdom to various storylines on the soaps. As the World Turns does this well and nowhere was it more evident today when Lucinda and Emma tried to reach their daughters regarding their love lives. (Soap Opera Examiner)

Here is something more rare than Monica's screen time on GH: The wubqueen actually really REALLY enjoyed a show. Check it out and get your "Lukealikes" on! (Wubs)

The Town Where Happiness Goes To Die

When Charles Pratt was named All My Children headwriter and I said, "After the reigns of McTavish and Esensten and Brown, there's nothing Pratt could do to ruin this show any further. The only way he could wind up as the worst AMC headwriter in recent memory would be if he lit fire to the set and then turned cannibal!", I didn't mean it as a DARE, and yet the show took it as such, because I can think of no better way to describe what he has done to AMC besides pyromania and cannibalism, and, if anything, that's significantly understating things.

Even the highlight of Monday's episode evoked mild annoyance; the rest of it was an ungodly mess, and when I went to WebMD to check the symptoms that I had after the show's end, it turns out that AMC may have given me an ulcer, sinusitis, an allergic reaction or generalized anxiety disorder!

Because I am too tired to be creative in framing this post, I present a list of things that I hated about this show. The list is, quite obviously, abridged, because we don't have enough bandwith for me to write down all of my complaints.

HATE: The prison notifying Zach that (Faux)Kendall was stabbed by leaving him a voicemail.

I'll let the ever expressive Mike Cutter speak for me:

Are you effing kidding me? I am foolish to even attempt to use logic when dealing with this show, but really, why would they not try calling Zach on his cell phone?

Warden Griggs: Mr. Slater, it's Warden Griggs at the state penitentiary. There was an incident tonight in your wife's cell block. I'm afraid she's been injured. A stab wound. Because of her prior heart condition, we're transporting her to Pine Valley Hospital.

I am so sure that information like that is left on answering machines!

HATE: Erica propping Ryan.

Ryan Lavery is TRULY the worst thing to ever happen to Erica. That should go without saying, because Ryan is the worst thing to happen to everybody, everywhere, but he's especially terrible for Erica in particular. I am endlessly fascinated by the large-haired, pocket-sized diva, but I've had a hard time watching her scenes lately, because she is turning pathetic. The mooning over Ryan, the making out with Ryan, the endless excuses she makes for Ryan...

Erica: Ryan, you have to stop blaming yourself. There's only one reason that Emma is in there, and that's Annie. What Annie has done to that little girl--asked her to lie, asked her to keep secrets.

Erica: Ryan, Emma was already in the crossfire, because Annie put her there. Annie has been using her own daughter as a weapon--loaded her up with lies and secrets as bullets. The only thing you have ever done is protect Emma.

Does anyone else have a craving for a Drano cocktail?

And what the hell, Erica, you don't seem to mind that Ryan's endless time spent protecting Emma (all of it occurring offscreen, natch) has apparently led to your daughter's son going missing! Where the hell is Spike? I know he's the most reasonable person in town and if any Pine Valley child could survive as a latchkey kid, it's Spike, but STILL.

Our Latest Soap Opera Digest Column

My Take
By Becca Thomas

Another Daytime Emmys ceremony has come and gone, and I'm thrilled, confused, and irritated all at once. Thrilled because there was some seriously, seriously bad fashion on display, and it was oodles of fun to mock. And confused or irritated by...well, by virtually everything else.

First, the things that irritated me least. DAYS's Ava was written almost incomprehensibly (still irritating these many months later), but Tamara Braun worked wonders with what she was given, so I was happy for her Supporting Actress win (and she looked absolutely gorgeous--bonus!). Also on the DAYS front, I am always happy to see someone from my two shows win something, particularly if the show is DAYS, which, let's face it, rarely gets nominated, much less wins anything. So congrats to Darin Brooks (Max) on his Younger Actor win, though I remain a bit puzzled by his nomination. (And by his suit at the ceremony, but that is a discussion for a different day.)

GH's Julie Marie Berman should have won the Outstanding Younger Actress award last year, so while I didn't think she had the same level of material or performances this year, I'm happy for her make-up win. Perhaps the same logic will bring Kirsten Storms the award next year. She didn't even get a nomination last year when by all rights she should have won for her performance as Maxie mourning Georgie, but at least we're moving in the right direction.