We know what you're thinking: "There were BESTS at the Emmys?" "You're listing the worst parts of the Emmys?! How long is this entry going to be?" "You guys haven't repressed those horrible memories already?"
But like Brick Tamland loves lamp, we love list and could not resist the opportunity to list the good and the bad of the 2010 Daytime Emmys, if only because the good moments really do deserve a chance to be highlighted. And then, once those two sentences are written, we can get on to making the producers aware of their staggering, dangerous incompetence.
Worst Tribute: The Emmys Salute As the World TurnsWe can't even, in good faith, refer to that as a tribute without scoffing and rolling our eyes dramatically. Devoting three minutes, at most, to a show that was on the air for 54 years and had a huge impact on daytime entertainment and pop culture in general (fun fact: Eileen Fulton's character provided inspiration to so many mothers across the country, including Mallory's grandmother, that Lisa became one of the most popular baby names from 1963-1976) (fun fact: Mallory is completely enamored with Fun Facts) is shameful. It's not like the show couldn't have cut a few minutes of Regis Philbin watch the audience respond to his poorly delivered jokes with awkward silence, or whittled down the advertisements for Cirque Du Soleil and The Blue Man Group (two things, incidentally, that became hugely popular IN THE '90s!).
Best Tribute: Agnes Nixon receives a Lifetime Achievement Award
It's a sad state of affairs when we are applauding a daytime-focused broadcast for taking a few minutes to honor a soap pioneer, but with the way the show had been going prior to the Lifetime Achievement Award, we were half expecting a repeat of the Lee Phillip Bell fiasco. Couldn't you have seen the camera panning to Agnes Nixon in the nosebleed seats and then cutting back to Regis as he introduced a performance from Yanni? But luckily we got a few sweet moments honoring a daytime icon and genius writer.
Biggest Absence: Tobias Funke
Sitting through The Blue Man Group was galling, because it had nothing to do with daytime and it was incredibly boring. If we HAD to watch this (and we shouldn't have had to because, as we hysterically noted multiple times on Sunday, it is 2010!), the least the show could have done was incorporated some Tobias! Although, to be fair, we think that most things in life would be improved with references to Arrested Development.
See? This post just got ten times better!
Most "Ohmigod, did we time travel? What year is it? How did we all time travel at the same time? Wasn't there time travel on Lost? If we watched Lost, would we know how to deal with this? What the hell is going on? Should we call 911? What would we say to the paramedics?" Moment: How do we choose just one because, really, this show heavily featured Chubby Checker and Erik Estrada?
One of us was completely unfamiliar with at least half of the people who graced the stage (and was roundly mocked by the other for her ignorance) and the other half reached their peak level of fame in the mid-70s. And while some of these so-called special guests could be explained away with the Dick Clark/Bandstand tribute, others defy reason. David Copperfield, for fuck's sake!